What’s Now?

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

I read the following blog from Perry Noble, New Spring Church and it made me think of our church.  Many of us are excited as we come off the fast because God has revealed much to us.  We need to remember before we move on to “What’s Next,” we have to deal with “What’s Now”.   This is what he wrote:

What’s Now Before What’s Next! (Posted: 29 Jan 2010 04:16 AM PST)

One of the most common asked questions people ask me is, “How can I know what God wants next for my life?”  AND…after being in ministry for nearly 20 years I’ve discovered that much of the time people don’t actually want to move on to what is NEXT…they are merely asking the question because they don’t want to deal with what God is doing NOW!  BUT…God will NOT reveal what is NEXT until we are obedient in what He is revealing NOW!

The same is true with our heavenly Father…His plans for us are amazing (I Corinthians 2:9, Ephesians 3:20), He REALLY does want to take us to places that we could never even imagine…but until we deal with the issues He brings forth in our life He will allow us to stay right where we are.  He can’t trust us with what’s next if we are not obedient with what’s now!

Here in the South we try our best to bypass this.  God will reveal an area of our life we need to deal with…and instead of becoming obedient and submissive to His leadership we will say, “Well, I’m not going to obey THAT…but instead I will do this.  Radical obedience in one area of our lives is not a license to pursue disobedience in another.

Is there an area of your life that is NOT submissive to Jesus?  Because, if that is the case we’ve got to understand that He is NOT going to change His mind, nor will He be mocked (Galatians 6:7) or manipulated (Isaiah 29:13) by our vain words.

Christianity is meeting Jesus and then following Him for the rest of our lives…one step at a time.

SO…what is THAT step of obedience He is leading you to?  What is that thing that always keeps coming up?  What is the issue He is wanting you to let go of?  Trust me…He’s NOT dealing with THAT issue because He hates you…but rather because He loves you and wants to see greater things.

Let’s deal with what’s now so we can constantly move towards what’s next!

what have you learned?

Well I must tell you I have enjoyed the taste of mashed potatoes and a little chicken at the end of our Daniel fast.  I have grown so much spiritually over the last 21 days of prayer and fasting.  Praying has taken on more of an important part of my daily life.  I just find myself praying all the time.  I have had the most peace-filled month of my life and it has been one of the most confrontational months in a while.  I know it is the result of turning my thoughts to God by having a continual conversation with Him in my mind.

This is what the bible instructs us in 1 Thes. 5:16-18 (NIV) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I never want to go back to the old way of worry and stress.  I have learned to pray God’s will be done in every situation and in every conversation. 

How about you I would love to here from you?

10 A Day the Easy Way

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

What does being a 10 in 2010 mean?  To some people it means beginning to tithe; to others it means adding 10% to what is already given; yet to others it means giving of time through serving in the community or in church. 

These are all great things but to me they are “biggies” – things  that are events or gets special notice.  For instance tithing comes when pay day comes; special times of service get marked on a calendar and are considered when making schedules.  These are major “10s” and they bring to light the question :  “Are there minor 10s?  Do they exist?  Where do I find them?” 

I believe there are “minor 10s” that we can incorporate into our everyday lives.  Vow to say one nice thing 10 times each day, even if it is only “hello” to a stranger.  Hold the door in and out of your work place or public places.  Call someone from small group to check on them or tell them you missed them at church.  Hug your children or your spouse.  Call your siblings or parents.  Pick up the neighbor’s newspaper.  Tell God 10 times each day thank you for all He has done.  You get the idea. 

If it is necessary, make yourself a note to do these things.  From the hours of 8am to 6pm set an alarm to ring on the hour on your phone or blackberry; write it in your calendar; post sticky notes in conspicuous places.  Do whatever it takes. 

I heard a man say once that small changes bring evolution.  Maybe the blessing of becoming a 10 in 2010 will be noticed in our own lives as well as in the lives of others.  I have a sneaking suspicion that just maybe God will soften our hearts as we practice the everyday acts of generosity, gratitude, and consideration for others.

10 in 2010

Today I am so filled  with gratitude for all the people who make SCC great.  We as individuals have been challenged by God to become a “10″  in our spiritual lives.  That is what this fast is about.  Becoming a 10 in God’s eyes.  It is denying ourselves and our will in order to find his will.  As you continue to pray, ask God what changes he would like to make in your life this year so you can be a “10” in 2010 spiritually.

Most of us would rather pray that God change the people or the problem around us and we think that would make our life a “10.”  However, 90% of the time, that is just is not true.  Mostly, God uses problems to help us grow in Him.  This week I would encourage you to evaluate your problem areas and ask God to give you the guidance to change.  Focus on you, not everyone else, and you will be surprised at how God will speak and give direction to you.

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)   But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

So if you are having a problem in your marriage, ask God for his will to be revealed as to how you can change.  Use the same principle with your finances and on your job.

Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

home stretch

Well this is our last week of our 21 day Daniel fast.  So,  I want to encourage all of you from SCC to hang in there.  It is the last part of any race that is the most tempting to quit.  Only  seven more days to go.

You know we are fasting to learn more about giving up our will in order to seek God’s will.  Fasting is all about learning to deny ourselves something we want in order to seek what God wants.  My friends, this is the case in our everyday life, not just with food, but with every natural desire we have.  We all have many desires that are not Godly so we have to depend on God’s spirit to remind us of His will so we don’t do what comes natural to us.  God’s spirit will never make you do what is right he will only remind you of what is right.

The Bible says it this way in Galatians 5:16 (NIV)   So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Remember as you fast and pray, that you a growing more like Christ in your thoughts, attitudes and actions.  It all starts with learning to give up want you want for what God wants.

I can tell you this, when you give up what you want for what God wants, it only results in you having the better life and that is what we all want.  So keep praying and asking God for his will in every situation in your life.

halfway home

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

Today marks the halfway point of our Daniel Fast.  I was so tempted this morning to eat a pop tart…ugh.  But I abstained.  Let us know how your fast is going.

As we are on Day 11 of our fast, we are also reading through the book of John.   And so we are reading John Chapter 11 today.

It’s a story about a man named Lazarus who died.  He has two sisters, Mary and Martha.  We know them from another story where Martha got really mad at Mary because she would not help her get the house cleaned for the house guest that was coming.  The house guest was Jesus.  (Luke 10:38)

So here they are again and their brother has died.   It is interesting to note that the two women both make the same statement to Jesus, but He has totally different responses.  They both say, “Jesus if you had been here, our brother would not have died.”  In other words, “Where were you?!”

But, Jesus, understanding the differences in each one (Martha being logical and Mary being more emotional) gave the perfect responses.  With Martha he says, “Your brother will rise again.”  And then with Mary, the more emotional one, the one who chose in Luke 10 to sit and listen at his feet  rather than to get caught up in housework, he wept.   Yes this is where the shortest verse in the Bible comes into play.  John 11:35, “Jesus wept.”

He knows what we need.   No matter our situation, no matter our personality type.   Jesus has our answer.   He will give us hope and an answer.  He also hurts with us.  Nonetheless, we are never alone.

If you haven’t started the fast, why not take the last 10 days and finish out with us?  You will never be the same.  You can get more information on our website at www.sccview.net

Fasting what’s the point?

The point of fasting is to get our minds on God and to spend more time in prayer.  Not just praying one or twice a day, but praying thoughts of prayer all day.  For me this has translated into asking God His will in every situation in my life.  Sometimes that means asking His will for every conversation that I am having with someone or going to have with someone.

The other reason to fast is to make a sacrifice of your will by denying yourself what you would like to eat as an expression of love to God.  When you do this it is a great time to ask God specifically for an answer to a problem in your life.  The Bible tells us to approach God with all of our needs and concerns that he may give us guidance, direction, or God Himself may do a miracle.  The Bible says we don’t have what we desire because we don’t ask God.

James 4:2 (NIV)   You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

So I encourage you as you fast to keep asking God for one specific thing that you would like for Him to intervene into.

Daniel Fast: What are you expecting?

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

I expected that during the Daniel Fast, as I abstained from certain foods, my body would be cleansed.  I also expected that God would reveal Himself to me.  I have lost a few pounds and had a few small revelations.  So armed with these “accomplishments,” I considered the fast a success for me.  Surely God has already worked in my life and I can continue to honor my food commitment to Him and simply hold on to what He has shown me as my “word” from Him.  He’s already done in my life for these 21 days, right?   

Wrong.   God doesn’t take a 21 day fast and tell you everything He has for you in a couple of days.    God is so big; I have done Him a disservice by thinking that He only has hints and glimpses of information for me. 

Today God began to show me the big message He has for me.  Pastor Jeff asked us:  “STOCKBRIDGE COMMUNITY CHURCH:  WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD? “ And we replied in one voice, “NOTHING!!! “

I followed my church family to the altar to release what I have been holding on to and I realized that God is calling me to a choice – a life altering choice.  Now is the time; I either live prayerfully and trust God or I say I trust Him but continue to walk in my own ways and live in worry. 

I arrived at the altar and I wept.  For probably only two minutes of my life but for what seemed to me to be an eternity, I wept.  God called to my mind all of the things that I say that I am releasing to Him but by my actions and my life I am obviously still trying to control.  What God pointed out to me very clearly is that I cannot continue living with an unstable mind. 

I choose prayer; I choose God; I choose faith. 

I thank God that through fasting I have opened myself to His word and His voice.  I pray that my life will be noticeably changed as I walk in faith to God, trusting Him with the outcome of my life.    I look forward to the remaining days of this fast and to His continued guidance in my life.  I look forward to hearing your stories and to celebrating changed lives with you.  Nothing is impossible with God.  Hallelujah!

Daniel Fast Journey Part 3

I must confess to you, last week in our fasting, my thoughts were more about what can I eat than on prayer.  The whole purpose of fasting is to let our focus be more on God than our stomachs.  Yesterday I was talking with Brian Woodson about fasting and how I was craving some of the small things like a bowl of cereal and he said something to me that I think is great for all of us to hear.

He said when he starts getting hungry and starts craving food that is not apart of the Daniel fast, he is reminded in God’s word where Jesus said in the sermon on the mount, “Those that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled.”  So when he starts having those hunger pains he asks God to take away those pains and fill him with God’s righteousness.

My friend that is what a fast is all about.  So, I challenge you to join me in letting your hunger for food turn you heart toward God and ask Him to fill you with his righteousness.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6 (NIV)

Hello World

Today I am beginning this blog to let the people of Stockbridge Community Church and anyone who chooses to read it get a little closer to me.  It is my desire as I share on this blog about what God is doing in my life through the good times and bad that you will draw life principle and your faith will grow as you read this blog.

 

As I begin my day I have learned the important of starting it off right.  By getting up 30 minutes early and learning to practice some relaxation techniques.

 

I would like to share them with you.

 

The first one is to get yourself comfortable and take deep breaths from you abdomen.  You breathe in slowly and watch your stomach rise and release the air slowly.  It has been proven that most people who are continually stressed out are people who hold their breath or breathe shallow from their chest.  As I breathe slow and deep I say to myself, my body is relaxed and my mind is alert to love deeper and to be more patient with people and to more relaxed.  Once I practice that kind of breathing for about five minutes I go the next step and I will share that with you tomorrow.  Go ahead now and give the breathing a try and see how it brings your heart rate down as you begin to relax.  I hope you have a great day.

 

Imagine…

Today as I write I have become very aware of the ability that we all have…. a God given ability that can make our life much better or make our life very miserable if we use it the wrong way.

 

This great ability is our imagination.  I am reading a book called “Wide Awake” by Erwin McManus and he shares some wonderful insights about our imagination.  He says “you can imagine far more than you will ever live, but you won’t live far more than you imagine.” 

 

Who you are flows from what’s going on in your head.  Your imagination is the place where God begins to crate your future.  It all starts in your head before you begin heading anywhere.

 

Proverbs 23:7 (KJV)   For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:

 

When we get stressed out our imagination works against us because it only imagines everything going wrong and getting worse.  That by the way causes fear.  Remember the definition of fear is:

False

Experiences

Appearing

Real. 

 

So today as you day dream on your way home from work or school, point your imagination in the right direction and let it run wild in the area of how you may be able to help some one who can’t help themselves.  Let it run wild on how you can make your home a better place without blaming someone else for all your problems.  Let it run wild as to how you can help your company be better and more profitable in these tough economic times.  Why not let God use your imagination today to do something great?  God has put something great inside of you to benefit others and will make you feel great about life.  So today let your imagination run…. let it run wild with God.

 

Relaxation tip for today:   Learn what it feels like for your body to be relaxed.  The way you do this to consciously tighten your muscle one at a time and release the tension slowly.  Record the feeling in your mind as to how the release feels.  Then, visualize a big dial with numbers on it and see yourself turning that dial from 10 to 0 and feel your body relaxing and your tension go away. 

 

I will give you the next step tomorrow.  Have a wonderful day.

What I see…

Today I thought I would share with you what I day dreamed about yesterday.  I actually took some time out yesterday and wrote down what I see in my heart and would like to share that with you today.

 

I saw Stockbridge Community Church packed to capacity with people hungry for God’s Word and to serve Him.   I saw thousands of people sharing their life with others.  I saw thousands sharing heart felt relationships.  I saw myself motivating thousands of people to get out and share their love and life with those that can’t help themselves.

 

Proverbs 31:8 (NIV)   ”Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”

 

I saw Stockbridge Community Church as a group of people that when we see others in our church in need that would let our faith lead us into action and share what we have with those who don’t have.  James 2:15-17 (Living)   “If you have a friend who is in need of food and clothing, and you say to him, ‘Well, good-bye and God bless you; stay warm and eat hearty,’ and then don’t give him clothes or food, what good does that do?”

 

So you see, it isn’t enough just to have faith. You must also do good to prove that you have it. Faith that doesn’t show itself by good works is no faith at all–it is dead and useless.

 

I saw Stockbridge Community Church as a group of people who look after orphans and widows in their time of hardship and by doing so we as the people of God would always keep our priorities right and not get caught up in things but in people

 

James 1:27 (NLT)   “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.”

 

I see us as a real church that is in love with God and it shows in how we respond to the people around us.   I want you who read this that are apart of Stockbridge Community Church to know I love you and believe we are becoming all of the above.

 

Well  this morning I am running late for a meeting, so I will share the relaxation tip tomorrow.   I hope as you dream you see a bright future with God and his people.  I love all of you.  Have a great day.

I Am Free!

Today I am headed back to a conference with Dave Ramsey’s organization.  It has been really good to see the need again about how much we as God’s people need to be out of debt.  When the average person is spending $1.22 for every dollar they earn, we all become slaves to the people we borrow money from.  Thank God His Word has the answers and Rhonda and I have been putting them into practice.  With God’s continued help we will pay off our little car by January.  We will have paid off $15,000 from February 08 to January 09, praise God.  You can do it too!

If you have not been through Financial Peace I pray you will this February.  Go to our website at www.sccview.net to register or watch for the sign up table in the lobby coming soon.

Then, you can join me this year in saying I am no longer a slave but I AM FREE!

 

Relaxation tip:  Read your bible in the morning for 15 minutes

 

I hope you have a blessed day

Camping inspite of the odds

This week is a week of time away with my family.  We are camping, which is something we enjoy very much.  Our camping is like doing a Holiday Inn on wheels. We have a bathroom and climate control on the inside of our travel trailer.  One of the things we love about camping is sitting around the campfire and talking.  Rhonda’s parents arrived before us and let us know that we could not have a fire because of how dry it has been.  We were like, “oh no!” because that was our only source of heat for outside and who wants to sit in a camper?  So, I scrambled to find some kerosene heaters to have outside so we could sit out and feel like we are camping.  Get the picture…. we have these big heaters and one of them has a loud fan on it so we have to talk loud and keep the people up around us.  Just another camping experience with the Daws family.

 

I was reading my Bible this morning from Genesis 18 when I came across the story of God’s promise to Abraham of a son.  What was interesting was while the Angel of God was promising Abraham a son, his wife Sarah overheard them and started laughing.  What was promised just went against all logic, but listen to how God responded to this doubt expressed through a laugh. 

 

Genesis 18:14 (TEV)   “Is anything too hard for the Lord? As I said, nine months from now I will return, and Sarah will have a son.”

 

That is the question we have to answer whenever we face things that are impossible for us to figure out.  We all know the answer to that question….  Nothing is impossible with God.

 

Ephesians 3:20 (Living)   Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of–infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.

 

Have great day.

 

Keep Climbing

Well, this morning is a beautiful morning here at our campground. Why?  The sun is shining.  Yesterday we had rain all day and were very limited in the things we could do.  So, we did what any real campers would do when it is raining outside, we went to the mall.  The great thing about the rain was that they lifted the burning ban and now we can have our campfire.  Last night was a riot because we were determined to sit outside under our canopy with each adult having their own heater in front of them.  We look forward to a great day today.  I am planning on climbing Stone Mountain today just to prove to myself that I am still in great shape and can do it without losing my breath.  It’s a 40 thing.

 

This morning I continued my reading in Genesis.  I read the story of Abraham and his son Isaac, how God told him to sacrifice Isaac.  If you know the story of Genesis 22 you know that God provided for Abraham a sacrifice so his son would not have to be the sacrifice.  This story is all about being faithful to God when God and life doesn’t make sense.  Every time God did something special for Abraham he named the place where it happened.  Abraham named this place, “The Lord will Provide” or in the Message Bible it says it this way, “The Lord Sees to it.”  I want to encourage you today to understand that no matter what you are going through the Lord will “See To It.”  This is how we let go and let God.  We have to remind ourselves the Lord will See To It.

 

Well, I must go climb that Mountain.

 

Have a great day today.

 

Rocky Top

 

 

I did it. Yesterday I climbed the mountain.  I am sure it was in record time.  I could feel my heart pumping from the time I started.  It was windy and cold so I had the path pretty much to myself.  It is only a mile and a quart hike,  but it’s all uphill.  The first three quarters of the way is a gradual climb, but the last quarter is very steep.  As I was climbing up that last part I could hear my legs screaming to my brain, “what are you doing to me?”  That is about the point when you look back at how far you have come and look ahead at how far you have left to go and start asking yourself, “do I go back or do I keep climbing?”  When I reached that point I could see the top and knew my goal was in sight.  To reach the top and arrive like Rocky when training for the big fight, was such a great feeling.  To know not only did I reach the top, but I must have burned five thousand calories on the way up, I think I will do it again today.

 

Let me ask you today… what mountains are you climbing? Is it sickness? is it family crisis, or financial crisis?  Let me encourage you take the first step to getting over your mountain and I believe the first step is to always ask God for help.  It is also asking God to show you how to take the first step up the mountain by asking, “what can I do to make things better?”  If it is sickness maybe it means you do what your doctor recommends, if it is family crisis maybe you take the step to bridge the gap in broken relationships.  If it is financial maybe you decide to take the financial peace class.  Once you decide to take that courageous step with God, it is amazing at the strength you find to climb and keep climbing.  Once you do what you can do you will find God will do what you can’t do.

 

Listen to what Paul says in Philip. 4:12-13 (NLT)   “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.”

 

You can do it and God will help.

 

Have a great and blessed day.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is Thanksgiving Day and I will be packing up my camper and taking it home. Rhonda will start cooking things to carry to my mother’s house. My brothers and sisters love for her to cook Macaroni and Cheese and Hash-brown casserole. We will hurry and get ready to go see that side of my family that I have not seen in awhile. But, all of that is still a few hours away and now I will take some time just to be thankful. I like writing out the things I am thankful for it makes me really focus on them, so just endure me as I let my real heart beat out on this blog.

 

What I am thankful for..

1. I am thankful for a God who would see a person like me who was a nobody and give me the greatest blessing of a life calling to change the world one person at a time with the Good new of
Jesus Christ.

2. I am thankful that he gave me a wife who is so supportive and who believes in the good of her husband and is willing to share in this great mission.

3. I am thankful for two children that have taught me how to love as God loves through the ups and downs of their lives.

4. I am thankful for the people that God put in my life to influence me and lead me to understand that character is the most important quality a person can have.

5. I am thankful for the people who are called my staff that work with me every day and who have walked with me through the best of time and worst of times and are still with me today walking
beside me making this heavenly vision possible, I am truly thankful for them.

6. I am thankful for a church family that loves me and I love them.  SCC is different from many churches because it really cares about the person sitting beside them on a Sunday. I am thankful that I get to give
my life serving people like the people of SCC.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody

 

 

 

Giving

Well, today is the day after Thanksgiving and all the advertisements have been zooming at us all.  When I got home from a few days away my mail box was full of sales papers and political ads.  It’s like Thanksgiving day is the day you stand on the starting line and wait for someone to say, “go!” and start running until Christmas is over.  I think that is what makes us feel so empty on December 26^th. We have been running and running to make Christmas this big unforgettable experience for our family that some how it is a let down.  It came and it went and I didn’t feel the way I wanted to after it was over.  I have had it with Christmas as usual, I have determined in my heart that Christmas is all about doing something for someone else who can’t pay you back in anyway. 

 

That was the great times that Rhonda and I have had at Christmas. When our kids were small and we would buy things for them knowing they couldn’t do anything to repay us, we didn’t even expect a thank you or I love you or anything, we just gave with no expectations.  I can’t remember the last time I gave a gift with no expectations.  I believe that is the spirit of Christmas.  Now that I think back it was so fun running from store to store looking for a Buzz light year because Tyler, my son, didn’t expect it and so it would be that big of a deal if he didn’t get it.  But just to see the smile of a kid who did ask for a gift, get a gift and we as parents not expect anything in return.  Now that was Christmas. 

 

Now we sound like the varsity “What’ll you have, What’ll you have?” and when they get it because they ask for it we expect a THANK YOU, or I will never disappoint you again because you brought me this.  That leaves me disappointed when I build Christmas up to be that.  So, this year I am gathering my family and we are going choose a family that we can buy a gift for that can’t give us anything back.  I just want my family to experience Christmas the way God meant it to be.  Just giving without expectations because we want to, not because we have to.

Life Givers

Well today I get up ready to go back to work after a whole week away I feel refreshed.  Yesterday Rhonda and I had the privilege of going to two churches; I was in one church at 9am and another at 11am.  The pastors of both churches are in a pastors small group with me that meets once a month.  I enjoyed being with them and seeing what God was doing at there place of service.

 

This morning I get up with a fire inside me because of this one verse Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)   Where there is no vision, the people perish:  

As I was sitting in a seminar two weeks ago this verse was flashed up on the screen and two words were highlighted, people and perish.  It was at that moment that God open my eyes to see that if we as church don’t fulfill our vision of giving people the opportunity for a better life, people will die.  We give life by helping people to connect to God and his family, by helping people grow spiritually and become personally responsible for the spiritual grow, by helping people understand that when they serve in the church they give life to others and receive the blessing of fulfillment, by reaching out to the community that can’t help themselves we offer life. 

 

We are in the life giving business with the message of Jesus. John 14:6 (NIV)   Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

 

Remember today we are life givers.

Life & Crisis

What a last few days.  Rhonda and I were getting ready to go to an overnight pastors meeting with our denomination Monday, my phone rang and it was a family crisis awaiting me on the other end.  What was going to be a great evening was interrupted with questions like, “What are we going to do?  I can’t believe this?”  I don’t about you but sometimes I feel that I should be exempt from problems that I can’t do anything about.  I do understand that if that were true I would not need God.  Even with that understanding I would be lying if I said it made life easy.  No, in times like that I have all the worry and fear that comes to every other person in the world.  But my faith in God’s grace is what gets me through.  I have come to understand God’s grace to be His ability to do what I can’t do.  This is what God said to Paul in

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)   “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

 

So in times like these I feel the pull of the problem, but I am learning to release it to God day by day and trust Him to do what I can’t.  

 

In Genesis 3, Jacob had a family crisis arise and His response was to return back to Bethel which means, “The house of God.”  Every problem that we face is a reminder it‘s time to look back to God or up to God for the answer and the strength to move on.

 

My prayer for all of us is that we keep looking to God no matter what the situation.

 

Purpose of Christmas

Yesterday I spent all day praying and studying for the sermon this Sunday and I am so excited about the this new series called, “The Purpose of Christmas.”  So, for all my friends who read this blog, I would like to share a little preview of Sunday’s message here at SCC.

 

Christmas is a time of celebration.  We learn this from the angel’s opening statement to the shepherds of Bethlehem.  God had wonderful news for us that would cause us all to rejoice, celebrate, and throw a party:

 

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Luke 2:10 (NIV)

 

The good news of Christmas is worth celebrating for three reasons. 

 

It is personal:  “I bring You.”

It is positive: “Good news of great joy.”

It is universal:  “for All the people.” 

 

Christmas is a time to celebrate three things

 

1.  That God loves you

2.  That God is with you

3.  That God is for you

 

So come Sunday ready to celebrate with us.  You will never guess what we’ll give to you when you walk in Sunday.  Don’t miss the surprise; it’s going to be fun.

What do I have to offer?

Today I woke up about 4:30 am and spent the next hour and a half trying to go back to sleep, only to finally hear my alarm go off at 6:00am.  That is a typical Sunday night for me.  I am so keyed up about Sunday, what happened or what didn’t happen.  It is the “pastor’s hang over” I guess.  Most pastors I talk to have the same problem.  I just see and hear so many people who are hurting and it bothers me that I can’t make their lives better.  I can only point them to a better life in Christ and I know that is what I am supposed to do.  It just pulls on my heart strings to see people hurt.

 

For instance, I had one lady come by on her way out of church yesterday and tell me that she had lost her 19 year old son ten months ago, her 27 year old daughter was in jail and her marriage of 17 years just ended.  Everything in me hurt with her as she wept. As she poured out her heart, I thought, “I have nothing to give this lady to help her except my heart felt prayer.”  As I talk to Rhonda about that incident I said that all I had to offer was my heart.  That all I have to offer Stockbridge Community Church… my heart.  I am so thankful to God that’s all He requires is my heart.  I am beginning to understand what Paul meant in Romans 13:8 (KJV)   “Owe no man anything, but love…” 

Why I’m proud of SCC

What a joy it has been to see the Christmas spirit alive this Christmas season.  I have seen more people this year more willing to give to others than I have ever seen in my life.  It is amazing to me see how in the times of economic recession, God’s spirit brings out the best in us.  As a pastor I get to see this every week.  I have heard how the people of Stockbridge Community Church have been caught doing good all over our county.  They’re working at the food bank, picking up food for the food bank, fixing bicycles, delivering bicycles, giving to people in need in our church family, working at medical clinics.   It has just been amazing how the spirit of Christ is alive in our SCC family.  We as a church will give over $14,000 to help the poor in our community have Christmas.   I like you, find myself asking what can I give and how can I serve?  That, my friend, is the spirit of Christmas.  I pray it doesn’t stop on December 25^th.

 

The Question is….

I am reading a book called, The Question behind the Question. It is very interesting because it makes you think about how to respond to situations around you without placing blame.  Here are some of the things I have written down:

 

• When someone wants to know why something happened that was out of your control here is a good response:  “I can’t explain it, but I sure can apologize for it.”

 

• Always start questions with “What” or “How” and contain “I” with a verb like do.  Example, “How can I help?”

 

• It’s better to be the one who is told to wait than the one who waits to be told.

 

• When people are asking the question, what is one thing you would change at work, home or in relationships or in any situation they face, they name many things that are out of there control, but No one says, “me”, which is the only thing in our control.

 

Which of these things do you identify with the most?

 

Good for Nothing

Yesterday as I was studying for Sunday’s message I was thinking about how God has saved us for a purpose.  I know God created us with a purpose in mind but all of us have gotten off track at times because of sin and that is one of the reasons Jesus died for us.  It was to take away our sins so we can get back on track with His plan for our lives.  I read this verse again and the thought that I am about to share came to me.

 

Ephes. 2:10 (NIV)   For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

We have all heard the statement made by people who were not pleased with someone say that they are a, “Good for nothing…..”   You can fill in the blank.  Like, “good for nothing husband, father, mother, wife, employee, teacher, or congressman.”  Well, here is the antidote that keeps anyone from becoming a “Good for nothing.”  Are you ready for this?  “Do Good for Nothing.”  That’s it, do good for nothing. What do I mean?  Do good with no expectation of being paid back in any way.  This will change your relationship with God and every person in your life.  I want to be a “Do Good for Nothing” person.  How about you?

 

Got Stress?

My week has been very busy, stressful, and joyful.  Do you ever have weeks like that?  For the last three weeks, we have been working on our Church and Daycare budgets and I can just hear the word, “budget” and my blood pressure goes up.  I am always expecting the worst for some reason but, not anymore.  I have gotten freedom.  As of January 1st our Church will be operating on a Financial Peace budget. 

 

Rhonda has always taken care of our budget at home and I have never gotten stressed one time over that.  We would review it together and we always let the budget tell us what we could do, not what we couldn’t do.  The decisions were already made.  So after 13 years of stressing over budgets, it was that time again and Rhonda could see my stress starting to build.  She suggested, why not do a Financial Peace budget for the church and Daycare?  So I agreed and I can just tell you I had all the fears, frustrations, and stress of making the decision of what was priority, because to me everything is priority.  But here’s the good news, all the financial decisions are made for 2009 outside of the unforeseen things.  So, this year I will be at peace because I know that the decisions are already made for every area of the church.

 

Now, here’s what I had to do to get that Peace:  Lay down pride.  

 

I had to ask people that have a better understanding of numbers and budgets to help me.  I think pride is the greatest enemy of our lives.  God puts many people around us that have what it takes to help us and we don’t ask.  We struggle on and life gets to be overwhelming.  So, if you can do one thing for yourself this Christmas, ask someone who is good at what you are not good at to help you in the area you are struggling in.

 

That’s what Financial Peace University is all about….. giving help where most of us are weak in our personal finances. 

 

Proverbs 16:18 (NCV)   Pride will destroy a person; a proud attitude leads to ruin.

 

What area of your life do you need help with?  Finances, marriage, health, or an addiction?  Just ask for help today!!!!!

The Question Pt.2

I read something last week that I would like to share.  It is from the book “The Question Behind the Question,” by John Miller.   He talks about what real leaders look like in a family, business, church or any situation.  Here is what he said, “Leaders are not problem solvers.  Leadership is not about covering for people, taking on their duties and responsibilities, or doing it all by yourself.  That is not a service to others; it is a disservice to everyone.  When a manager steps in and closes the sale, when project leaders carry the team’s ball, when parents clean the child’s room-it teaches nothing positive and adds no real value.”

 

Leaders are not problem solvers but problem givers.  They let others tackle the problem, design their own solutions, and take action.  How else can people learn?  How else can leaders serve?”

 

As I read that and thought to myself, I am guilty of not being a very good leader at home or work at times.  I have always taken a great deal of pride in being a problem solver.  So now is the time to take inventory of who is around you, ask the question who can help me solve this problem.  I leave you with the scripture I left you with last Friday.  Proverbs 16:18 (NCV)   Pride will destroy a person; a proud attitude leads to ruin.

 

I never thought trying to do it all myself was a form of pride, but it is.

Tis the Season…to slow down

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that this season makes life speed up.  When I get too busy, I get tired and when I get tired, I am hard to get along with at home.  So, I am working at keeping things together.  Here are some tips I have come across to reduce the holiday stress. 

Peace on Earth—and at Your House, Too

How to beat the stress of the season

James and Heather Sells 

It’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but the strain of the four-week Advent season can test even the strongest of marriages.

You’ll go to extreme lengths to make meaningful memories for your kids. You’ll try to blend three family traditions (hers, his and ours). Possibly you’ll travel hundreds of miles to visit loved ones. You’ll write, rewrite and distribute a Christmas letter (bonus point if you include hand-written notes), spend hours shopping for presents (bonus point for time-consuming homemade gifts) and attend the obligatory office parties, neighborhood get-togethers, church socials and school programs (triple bonus points if you host a party).

No wonder your idea of peace on earth has shrunk to 30 minutes of quiet—so you can wrap presents.

‘Tis the season to make some changes. For Christmas this year, you and your mate can exchange these patterns for a saner Christmas. Here’s how to beat the stresses of the holiday season.

1.  Say what you want. As holiday tensions increase, so do conflicts. As you get more tired, the more you expect your spouse to pick up the slack. When these unfair expectations don’t get met, you both feel resentful. So forget expectations, but do ask.  Desires should be stated, collaborated and related. “Stating” means discussing roles and responsibilities for each person. “Collaborating” is working together to resolve differences. “Relating” is honoring your relationship in all your actions.  Get down to the ‘nitty gritty’! Tell your mate why it’s important that you stay up ’til the wee hours baking cookies and writing personal notes on Christmas cards. Negotiate and make specific plans, for example for decorations—big trees vs. little tree, who will put up outdoor lights, which rooms you’ll decorate indoors, etc.

 

2.  Put your marriage and family first. It’s hard to take care of each other when you’re worried about disappointing loved ones. But if both sets of grandparents plan simultaneous celebrations, someone’s got to be disappointed. Don’t sacrifice your spouse’s needs. The rule: spouse before family of origin or friends. Decide together what you want to happen in December. Maybe you should say no to your uncle’s annual snowmobiling trip so you can skate with your own kids.

 

3.  Share the load. Holiday preparations tend to fall on one person’s shoulders—which isn’t good for either spouse. The one with the heavy workload feels resentful; the other partner feels useless and disconnected.  Seek a balance of duties and agree on priorities before the rush begins. To create a balance, let some duties go and mix up other chores. Last Christmas when I was pregnant, Jim bought stocking stuffers for his family’s Christmas celebration—a job I normally handle. We’re still laughing over the funny gifts he chose

 

4.  Listen to your spouse’s dream. Heather tells me that what she really wants for Christmas is some quiet family evenings. So we set aside the nights. Plan to see “The Nutcracker” together or take a Saturday to shop for the tree and trim it.

 

5.  Honor each other’s family traditions. In my family the video camera and other cameras stay in continual use during holiday gatherings. Heather comes from a photographically challenged family, but now she enjoys it—most of the time. Maybe you dislike your spouse’s family’s favorite Christmas snack. Maybe your family gives lots of presents, and your spouse’s gives just a few. Talk about the differences and respect each other’s celebration styles.  There is really no “right” or “wrong” here, just different preferences.

 

6.  Plan ahead– lighten the calendar. Make pre-Christmas, Christmas and post-Christmas plans. For example, have get-togethers in November and January, then commit December to major events.

 

7.  Respect your budget. If Heather splurges on a gift for her sister then I feel “justified” to splurge on a gift for my dad. It’s easy to find ourselves extended beyond our budget. Especially when money is tight, it’s not fair to overspend and then expect your spouse to support your purchases. Plan ahead so you have time to find “perfect” gifts within your limits.  Talk with your spouse about what is fair and avoid competing.

 

8.  Set a date night in December. Too many “must-do” events leave no time for you as a couple. So plan a night out—or “in” after the kids are asleep. If you can’t schedule one, then you’re over-committed.   Back off from trying to do so much.  Slow down and live.

9.  Keep in mind the best gift you can give. A loving relationship is the best gift. So make decisions that nurture your marriage and reduce tension. What’s the gift we want most? A marriage that reflects the beauty and sacrifice of God’s gift to humankind.

 

What’s the point of gifts?

I have been thinking a lot about Christmas and the gift giving.  I have asked myself, “Why do I give gifts?”  I hate to admit this, but most are out of obligation and not because I want to.  This is totally opposite of what Christmas is all about.  Christmas is all about giving, but not like I have been and I would dare to say that’s the way most give. 

 

So, I have done this soul searching and have asked myself, “Why are Christmas gifts given?”  Well, here’s the conclusion I have come to.  Christmas gifts are to be given as an expression of love.  If I give a gift for any other reason it, leaves me feeling empty.  With that thought in mind, I will not give my grandmother another $20 gift card to Walmart.  I will take her on a date.  The greatest gift I can give her is me.  You know I think that is what all of our family wants is more of us and less stuff.  They want us to be there when we are there and not ready to run out the door. 

 

Maybe this Christmas I will walk into my parent’s home with a bow on my head, with all my family present, and say, “I am here, all of me is here, I am not in a hurry, let’s visit awhile.” 

Wow

 

Today is what I would call a fabulous Friday.  Why you might ask?  The answer is because it is a day that I reflect on what has happened this past week and month  and my heart is filled with Joy.

 

Here are some of those thoughts:

 

When I was told one of our ladies at Stockbridge Community Church is volunteering at Hands of Hope Clinic.  She is in her seventies and files the paper work of the clinic.  Wow.

 

Joy comes when I think about how three families helped in our community with Helping in His Name Food Bank.  How two men from Stockbridge Community Church picked up food from schools that was donated.  Just to serve. Wow.

 

Joy comes when I think about how men from Stockbridge Community Church worked on bikes so that kids would have something for Christmas.  That excites me.

 

Joy comes when I think about how people in Stockbridge Community Church are helping one another.  I have heard of one such case where a guy in our church repaired a car for a lady and let her use his until it was complete and guess what…. He paid the bill.   That is very exciting.

 

Joy comes when I hear stories of people delivering bikes to people who would not have Christmas.

 

Joy comes when I think about how the greatest church in the world gave $14,000 to provide Christmas for over 200 kids.  Stockbridge Community Church is the greatest and the most unselfish church in the world.  Wow, Wow.

 

It truly is a fabulous Friday.

Sunday Reflections

Today I am still trying to let Sunday sink in.  All of the stories that I heard of Stockbridge Community Church doing good for others is overwhelming.  I was totally shocked when I heard Denese Rodgers tell us that 1,400 people’s needs were met this Christmas and largely because of the people of this Church.  How many times do you hear someone who works with the government say we couldn’t have done it without a Churches help.

 

I know I pastor the greatest church in the world, not because SCC is a perfect church, because the day I showed up as the pastor it became imperfect.  It’s not because we don’t have problems, because anytime you have people, you have problems.   I think I have figured out what makes SCC such a great church, it is the fact that we love God and we have learned as a church how to express that for God by loving one another and our community.

 

I pray we never let go of real love, the kind that keeps expressing itself in what we do for others.  Thank you SCC for loving one another and loving the community the way you have. I can’t tell you how my heart runs over with gratitude for you

I’m Messed up

Today is a day that I am going to slow down and enjoy the people around me.  I have been trying to get a lot of things done by the end of the year and it has been crazy.  I have worked on budgets and restructuring the way our church operates starting with our staff and it has been draining.  Something you may not know about me is I have a  messed up personality.  I am a very direct person, but I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  Now that is messed up.  So, I have this internal conflict inside when I have to be direct, I know it is going to hurt someone’s feelings and it bothers me.  I look at some people who are so even keel like my wife and say, “your life must be really boring.” She then reminds me,  “it’s not because I married you.”

 

So, today my prayer is please Lord don’t send anyone my way that has to be confronted.  I want to chill out for the holidays.  I hope you will chill out too. 

Merry Christmas

Last night we had our Christmas Eve Services, by the way, I love this service and this year we had Holy Communion, it was a special time, we talked about Joseph and how very special this man was, the adoptive father of Jesus.

 

Joseph was making plans to marry Mary and I am sure he was planning to get their own home and maybe open up his own carpenter shop, all the things a person dreams about when they think about a life with a person they love.  Like how he will be the best provider Mary could ever have.  All these dreams I am sure were in Joseph’s mind and they came crashing down when the most gut wrenching words came out of Mary’s mouth.  “Joseph, I am with child.”  Can’t you just feel your own heart speed up when you read that, just out of pity for poor Joseph?  I am sure that’s all Joseph heard, I don’t believe the words that “the baby is from the Holy Spirit” registered with him at all.

 

Joseph faced what we all face in life, an interruption.  His response was the same as ours today when interrupted.  He tried to get rid of it.  I can hear him say, “Mary you are out of here.”  But, here is the amazing thing, God was in his interruption.  Joseph was chosen to be the father of the Father’s son.

 

I have found that most of the time, things that happen in my life that I see as an interruption, I want to just get rid of it and want it to go away.  When I stop trying to just get rid of it, I realize that God is in my interruption.

 

I want to say Merry Christmas to all who read my blog.

The problem’s not mine in 2009

Well, this is the week that I will slow down and reflect over this past year and try to celebrate in my own heart the wins of 2008.  Personal wins as well as our church family wins.  I will also reflect on what didn’t work.  I would like to give a shout out to our student pastor, Ricky Mosel for a wonderful and challenging message yesterday.  If you would like to hear it you can go to http://www.sccview.net.  He challenged us to not just make a new years resolution with a list of new things we are to do, but to make a stop doing list.  I think this is great advice we all can receive for ourselves. I need to learn to rest.  Resting is for me is not sitting around watching movies all day, what some people call vegging.  I would call that hell.  No, resting for me is more mental than physical.  So, the first thing on my stop doing list is to stop trying to solve every problem that I hear about.  That probably sounds nuts to you, but that is the way my mind works.  I will give problems to a group of people and let them solve them instead of me trying to solve every problem that I see.  So, that’s my first new year’s resolution.  I will however become a “problem giver.”  I will give problems to God and to others and never have the intention of being the problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Your Goals?

I am having a partial week off this week. What that means is the office is closed. I have not been able to get away from the phone this week so far. I did get to play golf yesterday at Little Mountain Golf course. I like playing there for two reasons one it is cheap two and I can walk the course for sixteen dollars. The second reason I like playing golf there is I get to meet new people. You can really get to know someone after eighteen holes of golf. I like meeting people who don’t know I am a pastor and see how long it takes before they ask me what I do for a living.

 

Rhonda has informed me that we have a big house cleaning day today, basement and all. She is having her singers and band over New Year’s Eve. I think she invited them so we would have to do a super cleaning job. It will be fun.

 

Wednesday, I plan to set some goals for the New Year. After praying and asking God for direction I start writing five to ten goals. One thing that helps me stay goal focused is to write these goals down every day. Once I write them over and over in my journal day after day, I begin to see them coming to pass. Like last year, I knew I was going to do financial peace university, so I set a goal to pay my car off by the end of January 09. I owed about $13,000 and had no idea as to how that was going to happen but Rhonda and I put any extra money we had toward it and God has done the rest. As of next week I will owe $1,500 on it and I am believing some how that it will be paid off by the end of January.

You give it try.

 

What tomorrow brings….

Well, today is the last day of 2008 and tomorrow will be the first day of 2009. So, tonight will ring true the old saying, “out with the old, in with the new.” I like the word, “new.” I get excited when I hear the word, “new.” For some crazy reason when I think about the word new my mind goes back to my grandmother’s house and sitting with her, watching the Price is Right game show and hearing the announcer say, “the prize is a NEW CARRRRR.” My eyes would light up and I would think about how I should go on that show and win a NEW CARRRRR. Well, tonight at midnight I will be the winner of a brand NEW YEARRRR.

Don’t you wish that meant at midnight that you would get to erase everything from last year and years before and start over with the knowledge of the mistake and failure, but not have to live the scars of those mistakes? Well, tonight at midnight I don’t think that will happen for me or anyone else.

 

The word that I like more than new, is RENEW. This is where you take something that has been damaged and repair it to it’s original condition. That is what I look for this year; to let God restore me to my original condition. My original condition was total trust in God and the goodness of people. I love to be around small children who are still in their original condition, who still trust God and trust in the goodness of people.

 

Maybe this is what Jesus was trying to tell us in Matthew 18:3 (NIV), “And he said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’”

 

I want to be renewed in 2009. How about you?

 

 

2009

Today is the first day of the New Year and it feels promising. There is just something inside of me that says, “something great is going to happen this year.” I am asking the Lord for “God sized things” to happen this year in my life. That doesn’t mean I am asking for a million dollars. No, I am asking God to let his Holy Spirit work inside of me that I can be everything He desires for me to be. I know with God’s wisdom and God’s power, there is nothing that I can’t accomplish with Him.

 That may sound cliché to you but I really mean it. So, look out Stockbridge Community Church, Henry County, and the world, the real God centered Jeff Daws is standing up. I will walk in the confidence that God is with me and God is for me. I will choose faith over fear and family and friends over fame and fortune. I just feel like I was born for this time.

 It is not just my time, it is the time for anyone who is apart of Stockbridge Community Church. God is up to something big in all of us. My prayer for SCC is that God would let you and me as a church see what He sees and do what He would do.

 Happy New Year everybody.

 

 

 

Stress Busters

I came across a great article called “Learning to Cope with Stress.”  I thought this was great so I would like to share it with all who read my Blog.  I would like you to do me a favor.  After you read this article will you email it to two or three people?  I believe it is that good.

 

What is stress?  Stress consists of an event called, a stressor plus..

            How we feel about it,

            How we interpret it, and

            What to do to cope with it.

 

Hans Selye, a stress expert, defines stress as, “our reaction to any change in our environment.”

 

The three major sources of stress are:  Changes in our environment, Conflict in relationships, and Emotional pressures and conflicts that we create internally.

 

Most often the greatest source of stress is the tremendous pressure and anxiety that we create internally with our own thoughts and feelings.  We do this in various ways including:

 

• Worrying about situations we can’t control
• Being perfectionists – expecting too much of ourselves or others.
• Being competitive – turning every encounter into a win or lose situation.
• Being self-critical, focusing on our faults, not strengths.
• Expecting others to provide our emotional security, not ourselves or God.
• Making assumptions that we know how others feel and what they want from us, instead of asking them.
• Feeling powerless – failing to see available choices.
• Hurrying – expecting ourselves to perform better and faster.
• Comparing our achievements, or lack of them, to those of others.
• Being pessimistic – expecting the worst from life.
• Expecting problem-free living.

 

I made a list of about four or five and put them on my “stop doing list” for 2009.  I plan to write them down everyday with my goal so I will break the source of stress I put on myself,  which is 90% of all our stress.

 

Goals,Goals,Goals

Today I have written down my 2009 goals.  My list consists of three categories: a stop doing list, personal list and Church list.  I have written about five things in each category.  I am learning that nothing happens by chance and change certainly doesn’t happen just by me wanting it to.  I have to do my part.  I think the first thing anyone has to do when they want change in their life is to ask where do they need change?  That is why writing down goals and rewriting helps me stay focused on the change I am asking God for.  One thing I am learning is that focused attention over time brings change and that is very hard for a person like me who has ADD.  So, when I write down my goals and make them public it helps me stay focused.  It also makes me aware of what God is doing when I see progress happening toward one of my goals and I know no one made it happen but God.

 

Here are my goals for 2009:

 

Stop doing goals

• Stop being competitive – Turning every encounter into a win or lose situation
• Stop expecting others to provide my emotional security
• Stop making the assumption that I know how others feel and what they want from me, instead of asking them.
• Stop feeling responsible for other people’s feelings
• Stop being pessimistic – with my first thoughts, by thinking the worst is going to happen

 

Personal goals

• Read 20 books by 12-31-09
• Read the Bible through
• Pay off my Envoy and save three to six months living expenses by 12-31-09
• Relax with five weeks off and one two week vacation by 12-31-09
• Become better friends with another pastor
• Express love to God by expressing love to my family and others.

 

Church goals

• 100 people come to Christ, Adults – Children by 12-31-09
• 25 small groups by 12-31-09
• 150 people serving in the church
• 100 people serving in the community monthly 12-31-09
• Averaging $10,500 a week in giving by 12-31-09
• Averaging 500 in attendance

 

Tell me some of your goals!

 

Naturally Good

I have been listening to a John Maxwell leadership CD and I have found some of the things he has said to be very true.  One thing that he said was that “People don’t change much.  Don’t waste your time trying to put in something that was left out.  Try to draw out what was left in.”   All I can say to that is amen, amen, amen.  I, for years have tried to help people be something they’re not.  Like, I have tried to get a person who didn’t like to be up front, to be an up front person.   I tried to get people to lead who were not leaders.  I have even tried this with my own wife.  I tried to convince Rhonda that she could be a great Sunday School teacher.  Well, she did it for a while and did a good job, but she was miserable.  I have always tried to convince people they really could do whatever even if they didn’t really like to do it.

 

Wisdom has finally shown up thanks to Chesnee Dorsey and we have a class at Stockbridge Community Church called, “The 301 class” to help people discover what they like to do and what is in their heart.  I have found that my job as a husband, parent, employer, and pastor is help people draw out of their heart what God is put in them, never try to get them to be something that they are not.

 

John Maxwell said it this way, “the single most important lesson any parent, leader, coach or friend can ever grasp: I can make you more than you are, I just can’t make you something you’re not!”

 

We are to draw of out of people what God has put in and not try to drive in to people what I think God left out.  That one statement can change your marriage and every relationship you have.  The bottom line, quit trying to change people and encourage them in areas that they are naturally good at.

 

Is there anyone else besides me guilty in this area?

 

Change We Can Believe In

We are doing a series this month on the topic of “Real Change” at Stockbridge Community Church.  How do you have real change?  Well I think real change only comes when there is this equation:  Focused attention, over time, with God’s help will equal change. 

 

You see most of us want to change over night.  I can tell you from meeting with hundreds of people that overnight change doesn’t last.  We have all heard the term fly by night companies, or relationships or whatever.  The idea behind the statement is that anything that happens overnight doesn’t last.

 

What do you want to change this year?  You can have the change that you want, but it all starts with you deciding you are going to give the focused attention to that area of your life for a long period of time and every day asking God to help you.  The old question of how do you eat an elephant?  The answer is one bite at a time.   How do you lose 50 pounds in a year, by losing 1 pound a week.  How do you rebuild your marriage?  You work on it a little bit every day by reading a book or listening to a CD on marriage and applying what you learned.  How do you become a stronger Christian? By reading the Bible a chapter a day, by praying for five uninterrupted minutes a day.  How do I have a better financial situation this year? By taking Financial Peace University.

 

You can have the change you want if you will do what Paul said in the Bible in Philip. 3:13-14 (TEV)   …The one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead. So I run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize, which is God’s call through Christ Jesus to the life above.

 

Take a step toward the change you want every day.  Don’t wait for it to come to you. Get up today and take that first step.  You can do it.  Get up and do it, go for it.

Change We Can Believe In Pt. 2

Real change is what everyone wants.  We get bombarded with advertisements all the time, promising us if we just buy this product it will make our life so much better.  It just seems like we have been sold a lie.  The lie being that we can buy change.  You think about it. What ever area you need change in, you probably think, “I need to buy this to help me with my change.”  For instance if you want get in shape you think, “I must buy a treadmill.” If you want to lose weight, “I must buy a membership to weight watchers.” 

 

If we could buy change, we would all have it already.  You can’t buy change. You have to commit to changing.  Change is an inside job.  We see the result on the outside, but it all must start on the inside.  That’s what makes being a Christ follower so powerful. You have God’s Spirit helping you make the right decision on the inside and giving you the strength to let it show up on the outside.  But I will tell you, God will not give you the short cut or the quick fix to change either.  God wants to change your mind about the way you think about you, your life, and others.

 

Romans 12:2 (NLT)   Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

 

How do you let God change your mind?

 

• I must be intentional about reading God’s word and thinking about it.
  
•  I must consider what God would want me to do in every situation everyday.
  
•  I must understand changing my thinking pattern is a daily process with God, not a one time fix. 

 

Sunday Reflection

It is Monday morning and my mind is still reflecting on Sunday.  As I review what happened, I can’t help but think about how much I had in my heart to share with Stockbridge Community Church that we just didn’t have time for.  I just see all of us struggling with our weight, fatigue, and stress.  There is not one person who doesn’t struggle with at least one of these areas.

 

Yesterday I heard so many people talk about the pain they had going on in their life and my heart bleeds for them.  I know the pain when you struggle in your marriage. I know the pain of watching your teenager make bad decisions.  I know the pain of not having more month than you have money.  I know how God has walked with me and provided for me and how I have to look to him everyday for the strength and guidance and if I don’t I will crack up.  I just hope as I shared what I believe God put on my heart from His Word, it will penetrate someone’s heart and they will let the change process begin.

 

I can just see pain in people’s faces and I know there is only one answer and I was reminded of the answer by a young man who was exiting the church yesterday.  He had had his own battles with life and had dealt with it all the wrong way as many of us do.  But yesterday he came by me as he was exiting the building and said I have found the answer to my life’s problem and he pulled up his sleeve. Tattooed on his forearm were the words, “Let Go and Let God.”  That is the answer we all are looking for. 

 

Matthew 6:34 (Msg)   “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

 

Change We Can Believe In Pt. 3

Sunday I presented a question to our church family at SCC that has not left my mind.  The question was,” what will you change before you are forced to change?”  That is the question that every person must answer and if we procrastinate and do not answer the question and take action, we will have to change the hard way by pain.

 

I have watched my Dad who has diabetes not change his eating habits in spite of knowing his disease.  I remember back in 1995 at the age of 49 when they took him in to an operating room and did open heart surgery because of the damage diabetes had done to his arteries.  I remember hearing the doctors say to him, “Mr. Daws we have done all we can do for you to give you a second chance at life, now the rest is up to you.”  I thought after my Dad had his chest cut open he will get it together.  Well, that has not been the case and it has been one doctor’s visit after another over these last 13 years. 

 

I watch people struggle all the time who know what to do to make life better for themselves or their family but for some reason will not humble themselves to make the changes they need to make.  I think the greatest enemy to “Real Change” is pride.  Before I am willing to change I have to admit that I am wrong, my way is not working.   No wonder Jesus said Matthew 23:12 (NIV)   For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

 

So one of the first steps for real change is to ask yourself, “what am I doing that is not working in the areas of my spiritual life, family life, financial life or physical life?”   You see, you can’t separate those areas because they all make up your life and only you can decide to humble yourself to change them.  Jesus makes us a promise if we humble ourselves and ask what or where do I need to change. If we start acting on the answer, you will be exalted by him.  That means you take the first step and he will meet you and give you the power to have “Real Change.”

 

Real Change We Can Believe In Pt. 4

Real Change.  That has been the subject that is going through my heart.  How do I have it and how do I as a pastor help other people receive it or go after it?  One thing I believe very strongly is that real change doesn’t just come to you.  Like, you just wake up one morning and you are a more loving person or you wake up and you are 50 pounds lighter or you wake up and you are more spiritually mature.   No, Real Change only happens when we receive the truth about who we are and recognize we need to Change. 

 

I have found one tool that God has given all of us to have real change and that is prayer.  I can’t describe in words how powerful prayer is.  I don’t know all of what happens when we pray, but I can tell you when I pray my heart seems to be laid open bear and some how I see clearly the area of my life that needs change.  It is crazy.  I have been praying for God to change others and before you know it I am asking God to forgive me and find myself making plans to apologize to someone else.  I am like, “God, no, I came here to talk to you about someone else, not me.”  I have always heard the saying that prayer changes things and I agree with that but more importantly, prayer changes me.  I have never found the change that God has shown me to be harmful to me. Sometimes it hurts my pride, but when I receive what God shows me in prayer and take steps to act on what he has shown me, I have Real Change.

 

James 5:15-16 (NIV)   And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

 

Here are a few things that try to keep me from praying

 

• The devil
• Busyness
• Stress
• Worry
• Fatigue 

If you are finding this blog helpful, give me a shout back!

 

Change we can believe in Pt. 5

If change is going to happen it will happen because of perseverance.  I thought I would share this story with you about perseverance by
John Maxwell.

 

Running Past Failure

As a small child, Vonetta (Jeffrey) Flowers dreamed about being in the Olympics. She ran everywhere she went, and gained a reputation among her school friends for being quick. At age nine, Vonetta learned she had special talent. While trying out for an inner-city track club in her hometown of Birmingham, she shocked coaches by posting the best sprint time

for Jonesboro Elementary School – running faster than boys two years older than she was!

 

Vonetta’s immense talent carried her to the University of Alabama-Birmingham on a track-and-field scholarship. While at the university, she continued to pursue her goal of gaining a spot on the Olympic team. She practiced meticulously to perfect her stride, spent hours in the weight room adding strength, and ran grueling intervals to shave seconds

off her sprint times. Thanks to her combination of talent and discipline, Vonetta ended her college career as a 7-time All-American, competing in the 100 meter and 200 meter sprints, long jump, triple jump, heptathlon, and relays.

 

With her college career finished, Vonetta set her sights on the 1996 Olympics. Unfortunately, she failed to qualify for the team, running slightly behind the leaders. The failure stung, but Vonetta was determined not to give up. She found a job as an assistant coach and continued

her regimen of training.

 

For the next four years, Vonetta put her body through punishing workouts with an eye on the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. In her words, “I devoted countless hours to lifting weights, eating right, and staying mentally tough. I knew that my time as an athlete was coming to an end, and I’d hoped that the 2000 Olympic trials would prove to be my year to finally find out what

it’s like to be an Olympian.”

 

In June 2000, Vonetta lined up again to run at the U.S. Olympic Trials. Unfortunately, Vonetta placed 13th, and she failed to make the Olympic squad. Although one of the fastest women in America, she wasn’t in the select group to represent the United States in Sydney. After 17 years of training, she had come up empty in her quest for the Olympics.

Two days after her second painful failure in the Olympic Trials, Vonetta’s husband spotted an advertisement for tryouts for the United States Olympic bobsled team. He convinced her to go to the tryouts. Growing up in the South, Vonetta was not accustomed to cold and snow, and she knew next to nothing about bobsledding. However, at the tryouts her unusual blend

of speed and strength proved to be ideal qualities for a brakewoman (the person who pushes  the bobsled to give it initial momentum and then hops in with the driver). Vonetta was chosen  for the team.

 

Vonetta’s decision to join the bobsled team came with a price – two more years of a strict diet,  sore muscles, and countless hours dedicated to attaining peak physical fitness. It also meant  delaying her dream to be a mom. However, her years of perseverance paid off. Not only did Vonetta achieve her lifelong goal of competing in the Olympics, but she also became the first African-American to win a gold medal in the winter Olympics!

 

That is a wonderful story.  Vonetta persevered. She kept believing, she kept training, and she kept running until she finally caught up with success.

 

Let me encourage you to keep on keeping on and the change your looking for will start showing up day by day.  Don’t quit, PERSEVERE.

 

James 1:3-4 (NIV)   because you know that the testing of your faith develops  perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 

Sunday Reflections

My thoughts:

 

Ø What an amazing day with 400 people in Church on such a horrible weather day.

 

Ø We have the greatest volunteers serving in our parking lot, they walked through the cold rain to keep everyone dry.

 

Ø Yes, I said that we will go down in history for changing the way we as a church and county think about money.

 

Ø Yes, I said that we should make sure all of our Washington representative can manage their own money before we send them to manage our tax dollars.

 

Ø The question was raised, “why not us?”  Why can’t we be the people God uses to spark a change in our country and in the way we handle money.  We have a proven method given in the Bible that has worked for every person who has put it into practice. 

 

Ø Thank God for influence he has given SCC in the community to give the people an opportunity for a better life.

 

Ø I do believe God is wanting to use his church to bring hope to the world, more than that I believe God wants each of us individually to give hope and help to all those around us.

 

Ø Question of the day “If not you then, who? and if not now when?” 

 

I will leave you with this: I believe it is our time as the people of God to stand up to help the people in our church and community in any way we can.  True life only happens when you feel you are contributing to make someone’s life better. 

 

Luke 18:27 (NIV)   Jesus said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”

 

 

Change = The Church

Today history will be made.  We will inaugurate the first African American president.  I may not agree with President Obama, but I can’t help but to be excited for him and his family.  This is an exciting day for our country as we watch history be made in front of our eyes.  There will be parties in the streets of Washington D.C. and all over the country in this great celebration.  People will put aside all of their political difference and show respect to the highest office in the land and a newly elected president will take office.  Then, Wednesday will come and the celebration will end and people will go back to business as usual.  But, many will be waiting for the change that President Obama promised during his campaign speeches.  Many people believe that the president can make the change our country needs over night if we have the right person in office. 

 

My friend, some people will be disappointed because they have placed all their hopes in a man, who I believe really wants to make change, but we’re in a government where things are not easy to change for anyone….. that is politics.

 

When God wanted to bring change to the world he didn’t just send his Son.  He established a group of people of faith in His Son and His Word.  That group is called, “the church.”  The church is God’s chosen instrument to bring change, not a government.  When the church is united in purpose, there is nothing it can’t accomplish.  It is not empowered by voters or influenced by big donors.  No, it is powered by God’s Spirit and His Spirit is seen in His people when love is expressed and kindness shown to all people.  The Church is a group of people who can take action in a moment’s notice.  All it takes is one person’s heart to be moved.  The act of God happens when the church sees a need and acts on that need for the glory of God.  The best gamble on change is the church.  It is where God’s grace is administered.  Remember, God’s grace is His ability to do what we can’t.  In the Bible, Peter said this about the church and God’s grace.

 

1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)   Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.

 

 

unchanging = jesus

 

Yesterday I was sitting in a meeting with my staff at Stockbridge Community Church and we stopped our meeting to watch the inauguration of President Obama.  While we were sitting there waiting for President elect Obama to be sworn in, our Fellowship Pastor, Ricky Mosel made a statement that inspired a thought that I want to share with you.

 

He said in the next five years the world is going to change faster and faster.  He felt things will be totally different because of the rate of speed that times are evolving.  When he said that I just automatically responded with this statement, “When things are changing this fast it makes the unchangeable more desirable.”  I believe that to be very true and that is what makes being a Christian so desirable.  We serve an unchanging God.  In the middle of a world that is changing by the minute, the human heart cry’s out for something stable.

 

It is amazing to me that real change comes by taking hold of what doesn’t change.  People change, the world changes; times change, but God and His Word never change. 

 

I can tell you the unchanging Word of God will keep me in changing times. 

 

Jesus said it this way Matthew 16:18 (KJV)  … upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

 

That is why I say it is our time as church to step up and lead.  The people around us are looking for something that is unchanging in this world which is ever-changing.   We have got it, Jesus Christ.   He is the same yesterday today and forever.  

 

God Confidence

I would like to share a word with you…. “confidence.”  Now, let me ask you a question. Do you have it?  I can say that it depends on the moment, not just the day or week with me.  Situations arise in my life and I feel so out of control.  How can I be confident?  I think I am learning the secret to confidence. It’s not about me or what I can do.  When we become Christians our whole life is spent becoming less confident in ourselves and more confident in God.

 

I don’t know if you have hit that wall yet or not, but you will if you haven’t.  You will have something happen in your life that you can do nothing about and it won’t go away over night.  There will be no humanly way possible to fix or change your situation.  It is at that point that you have to become “God confident.” 

 

The Bible says it this way in Hebrews 13:5-6 (NIV)   …God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?”

 

This verse tells me how to become God confident.  It says you say to yourself with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.”  That is what I am finding to be the most freeing internal response to the things and situations and people that stress me out.  Let me be very honest with you, you don’t become God confident over night. No, it is over a lifetime of practice that you get to the point that things don’t bother you because you just automatically believe God is going to work it out.  I am not there yet.

 

So, let me ask you what is it right now that has got you all worked up?  Got it in mind? Now practice with me out loud God confidence.  Say this, “Because the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid of______________.”   Say it again and again until God confidence comes.  The more you say it the more you will start to believe it and that is what gives you peace in the storm.

 

 

Sunday Night Reflections

As I write this post it is Sunday night and my mind is going one hundred miles an hour and I am trying to let it all soak in.  So much has happened today.  Here are a few things that I am thinking about:

 

 ØGod answered a specific prayer that I had been praying this week for someone.  I say praise God, He is alive

 

 

 

ØAnother thing I am thinking about is the message, that is still  in my heart and I don’t know if it came out the way God put it there.  I trust the Holy Spirit said to every heart what I could not get out of mine.

 

ØI am thinking about love. How much I love the people at SCC.  I really do love the people that I get the privilege to pastor.

 

ØI am still thinking about the statement that we said over and over again about giving.  “When I give people live.”  Today forty one people gave blood to the blood bank that serves Henry Medical Center.  The staff over at the Life South Bus shared with me for every donor, three people’s lives could be saved.  So, today SCC family literally gave life to 123 people.  The blood mobile ran out of bags because they said our church gave double the amount of blood that they would normally receive from a church our size.  That is because the people at SCC have a heart twice the size of most churches.  For that I am so thankful.

 

ØI am thing about how blessed I am to have the men who have worked with me on our finance team for the last five years and because of all the help they have given me we have finished 2008 in the black by $2,000.  Thank you Doug House, Andy Phillips, Allen Martin,  and Angie Benton.  I am so thankful to God for Angie Benton, Tani Keller and my wonderful wife, Rhonda.  They helped us this year get on the Dave Ramsey budget with our church budget.  Thank you ladies.

 

ØI am thinking about the funeral I will do tomorrow for Margaret Lively who is 33 years of old.  I watched this young lady grow up and have seen her ups and downs.  I watched her fight for her life several time and when doctor had counted her out she would fight through and God would bring her out.  She was something else.  She would crack you up with laughter or make you want to shut her up with some of her direct comments.  You had to love her because she knew how to say I sorry.  She is the only person I have ever baptized four times and she said the last time stuck.  I viewed her body tonight and was flooded with memories of almost 14 years of her life.   My eyes filled with tears as I said good bye and I will see you again.  I thank God that love doesn’t get buried in the grave but lives on in our hearts.

 

Don’t Do it Alone

Yesterday I got the privilege to do ministry with a friend.  I spoke at Margaret Lively’s funeral and drove 225 miles round trip to do her committal.  You know what the greatest thing about the whole day was… I didn’t do it alone.  Robert Frisone was with me all day. As we drove those few hundred miles he comforted me by just being there.  He was like a silent, but most important partner in the service to God and Margaret’s family.  I spoke at the funeral and I spoke at the graveside, but Robert stood as a support for me.  As people were drawing support from me, I was drawing support from him.  Usually after a long day like yesterday I find myself tired and drained emotionally and physically, but because he was there I was not drained at all. It may sound crazy but I enjoyed my day of service. God gave me someone to minister to me as I ministered to others. 

 

I guess I am saying don’t do anything for God by yourself if you can help it.  Always ask someone to join you.  As you are thinking about how you can serve in our community once a month or in ministry to our church, always think about who you can get to minister with you. 

 

Ecclesiastes. 4:9-10 (NIV)   

         Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

choices

I am a fan of John Maxwell who is a former pastor and teaches leadership now.  I just listened to one of his leadership lessons and here is a quote that he shared and I would like to share it with you.  “There is a choice you have to make in everything you do.  So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you.”

 

I find that quote to be more true than I would like to admit.  Life is all about the choices we make and I think everyone gets that, but most people don’t get the last part of the quote.  The choices you make in the end make you.  We are all a product of our choices, yet we spend most of our time blaming other people for all of our poor choices.

 

You know what makes life complicated is so many choices.  Many choices mess you up. If you don’t believe me, go get an ice cream at Dairy Queen. It is a matter of dipped or not dipped or a blizzard.  I can make that choice, but you take me to Baskin and Robbins where there is 31 flavors and it is a hard decision. 

 

Life or death is in the power of choices.  My Dad taught me this before I ever knew anything about God.  He said it like this, “your mother may have brought you into this world but I can take you out if you do that again.  That put choice into perspective.  God said it this way:

 

Deut. 30:19 (NIV)   This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

 

 

what happens when we die?

This week I will have attended two funerals, so you can understand I have had questions of many people about death.  Some are the silent questioners who just listen very closely as you talk with someone else who is brave enough to ask the question that they wanted to ask.  The question I got this week was one I think a lot of people have.  It was this:  “When we die do we go to heaven or do we go into a state of sleep?” 

 

Here is what the Bible says about that question and it is really clear in 2 Corinthians 5:8 (KJV)   We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

 

So when we leave the body we are present with the Lord.  In other words we go to heaven the moment we take our last breath here.

 

The next question is not as clear, it is this.  “When we die if our bodies stay here and we go to heaven what do we look like?”  We do know the Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 (NIV)   For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

 

We know that our bodies that we have now will come back together and meet with our eternal spirit even if someone has been cremated and had their ashes spread all over the ocean.

 

What does our spirit look like without our bodies?  Here is a thought….. you will be viewed from the inside out.  The best way I can explain this to you is the example of hearing someone on the radio for long time. You get a picture of what they look like in your mind based solely on the spirit that they present over the airwaves.  Even though you have never seen them, you have a picture in your mind of what they look like based on their spirit or personality.  Have you ever seen someone after hearing them talk for weeks and when you see them, they looked nothing like you thought they would?  You saw them from the spirit they portrayed.  That is what will make heaven great. You will see everyone for who they really are, from the inside and the out.

 

Just a thought.

 

Sunday Reflections

   

Here are my thoughts after Sunday’s Services:

 

What a great drama team we have at Stockbridge Community Church called Center Stage drama team.  Diane Cardin is a great writer and director.  She rocks.

 

The sound and technical teams work so hard each week to make our service the best it can be.  A big thank you to Pam Salter who keeps our services flowing each week and make sure I have everything I need for the service.

 

What can I say about our band and praise team.  They lead me into worship every week and I am so thankful for them.  Rhonda and her team takes us into the presence of God so passionately.

 

Stockbridge Community Church is the most generous church.  Stacey Steen shared with me today that many people have brought clothes for a family in our community who house had burned last week. 

 

 I am still having the words, “respect and listen” go over in my mind as I think about the sermon.  I pray that Stockbridge Community Church will have the strongest marriages ever by our men listening to their wives and our ladies respecting their husbands by praising them.

 

Well, today I start the 40 day journey to be the best husband in the world to my wife by taking the love dare challenge.  It will be hard for me to be patient and only do what it says one day at a time. 

 

I know I get to pastor the best church in the world.

 

What a super bowl game!  It was great to watch with the guys and just talk football.

Love Dare Challenge #1

Well, yesterday I started the love dare challenge and little did I know I would be hit between the eyes on the first day.  The first day started with, “love is PATIENT.”  

 

It said, “love will inspire you to become a patient person.  When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation.  (That one got me) You are slow to anger.  You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper.  Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you.  Patience brings and internal calm during and external storm.

 

Patience is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, (NOTE TO SELF: IF COUNTING TO TEN DOESN’T WORK TRY A HUNDRED) and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.  Anger on the other hand is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief.  You don’t get what you want and you start heating up inside.  It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.

 

Patience, however, makes us wise.  It doesn’t rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying.  Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment.” (OUCH)

 

After reading that, I understand why the Bible in explaining love, says love is patient first.

 

1 Cor. 13:4-8 (NIV)   Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

 

Bottom line is this:  Lack of patience in your home will produce a war zone.  The practice of patience will produce peace and quiet.   Patience is where love meets wisdom.

 

So I have work to do in this area BIG TIME!

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #2

I am writing this Tuesday night so I am on day two of the love dare challenge.  Yesterday’s dare to be patient is one that I am trying to apply in every situation.  I understand that patience shows up in how I react and today’s love dare is to be kind.  I like this one because it is doing something and not just controlling a bad habit of being impatient. 

 

In the love dare book they give some ways that kindness is displayed and I would like to share my version with you.

 

Gentleness.  This means I have to watch the tone of my voice when I am speaking and choose my words so I don’t say the first thing that comes to my mind.

 

Helpfulness.  I ask, “how can I help you?”  It may be house work or doing the dishes or setting the table.

 

Willingness.  I try to show this by saying, “whatever you think is ok with me.”

 

Initiative.  Quit keeping score on who makes the first move…. to greet, smile, say I love you, or offer a kiss.  It is seeing the need to make the first move and not pouting if your spouse doesn’t initiate first.

 

It is true kindness that draws us as couples together and it is what keeps us wanting to be together.  Love in its truest sense is not based on feelings.  Rather, love determines  showing thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.  That “no reward” part for me is hard, but that is what keeps us from keeping score.  Maybe you have been there before.  Have you have ever said “I am always am the one who _______ first?”

 

I have to check my acts of kindness, how about you?   I enjoy hearing back from you.

 

Love Dare Challenge #3

Day three of the love dare was “Love is not selfish.”  This is something I didn’t think I had a problem with until I read the truest statement I have ever read or heard.  “Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. (Here it comes)  It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” (That got me).

 

I can be the best at playing attorney to get my way with my wife.  In the past I would make whatever I wanted to do sound like it would be immoral if she didn’t let me do it.  I hate to admit that.  So, selfishness is not just what I do in spite of what she thinks. It is also trying to manipulate her to get what I want.

 

This was another statement out of the love dare book that was too close to home.  “One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward.”  If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish.”  (Oh my Goodness)

 

That could mean that every time we say, “Look at what all I do or have done for you” – that is selfishness.  I guess to sum up selfishness is to say that any time we say something or give something in order to get something, we are being very selfish.  That is hard for me because when I do something for my wife or anyone else I at least expect them to show appreciation, maybe even great appreciation.  (Like jumping up and down)

 

Boy this love dare is making me take a look at every motive…. even how I pray.  I wrote out my prayer today and after I finished I thought about how maybe I was being selfish in my requests to God.  So, I went back and counted how many times I had written the words “I” or “me” in that prayer.  And only on one side of the piece of notebook paper,  I am ashamed to tell you,  I wrote those words 38 times.  This unselfish person may not be as unselfish at he thought.

 

We can all do something unselfish this Sunday @ SCC by bringing a tube of toothpaste to church, so it can be given to help someone we will never meet and not expect anything in return through Helping in His Name Food Bank.  You can drop it off in the baskets in the lobby.

 

Philip. 2:3 (NIV)   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

 

Love Dare Challenge #4

 

Love dare number 4 is, “love is thoughtful.”  Listen to this, “love thinks, it’s not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally.  It keeps busy in thought (Read this next line out loud) knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.”

 

When a couple first meet they are so thoughtful and it comes really naturally.  But, after marriage we stop trying to convince our husband or wife we are the one for them, and that happens naturally as well.  Rhonda and I have to plan times that make us more thoughtful of each other.  Like date night or an over night trip with just the two of us.

 

Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.  But, the thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips.  Love thinks before speaking.  It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.  (Did you get that? Engage mind before mouth) I need that.

 

Great relationships come from great thinking.  Have you spent time thinking how you can be nice to your spouse?  The first step I am learning is letting my words be filtered through kindness.

 

1 Peter 3:10 (NIV)   For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

 

Love Dare Challenge #5

Love dare number 5, “Love is not rude.”  Here is the definition of being rude:  To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.  In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic wisecracks.  I never thought of myself as being rude.  That’s a habit that I have worked on for years and thought that I had gotten a hold on that.  Then after reading this definition of rude I realized I was very rude.  I had a habit of doing things out in public that I thought were funny, but embarrassed Rhonda.  Like singing very loud in public places or pulling up to drive through windows and asking can I borrow a dollar.  What I thought was funny, I realized was rude.  I never thought of it that way, I always thought she needed to lighten up because that’s just who I am.  Well, after years of her telling me I was embarrassing her, I quit but I never thought of it as being rude.

 

The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners.  There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness.  I would say I was rude out of ignorance. I really thought that Rhonda needed to lighten up and if she did, she would enjoy the moment like me.  (LADIES AND GENTELMEN GET THIS: IF YOUR SPOUSE SAYS THEY DO NOT LIKE WHAT YOU ARE DOING THEY MEAN IT, SO STOP DOING IT!  IF YOU DON’T YOUR BEING RUDE)

 

Three things to practice to keep you from being rude:

 

1.  Guard the Golden Rule.  Treat your mate the same  
      way you want to be treated.

 

2.  No double standards.  Be as considerate to your
     spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.

 

3.  Honor requests.  Consider what your husband or    
     wife already asked you to do or not to do.  If in
     doubt, then ask.

 

“Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! Luke 6:31 (Msg)

Love Dare Challenge #6

Love dare number 6 is, “Love is not irritable.”  Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive.  To be irritable means “to be near the point of a knife.”  People who are irritable are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.  Boy, have I been there, willing to fight at a drop of a hat and I would gladly drop the hat.  I can tell you from experience that’s no way to live.

 

One of the lessons I have had to learn is to have what I call emotional self-control.  I have always been a person who was very self- disciplined in every area of my life except in the area of my emotions.

 

If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be a joy, not a jerk.  Ask yourself, “Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?”   I think pride and fear lead to irritability.

 

Pride leads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation.   I think this is the solution to irritability:

 

 ***Love eliminates fear.  When you start to excel at loving, you stop fearing people. And when you have no fear of people, you stop competing with them, you stop trying to get them to notice you and you stop depending on them to make you feel good.

 

Proverbs 16:32 (Living)   It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army.

 

Love Dare Challenge # 7

Love dare number 7 is “Love believes the best.”  This all happens in our thinking.  What you dwell on will determine how you feel about a person.  If you want any relationship to get better, you have to think positively about that person.  This doesn’t mean you don’t have moment where you have to address things with them, that‘s just part of growing in a relationship.  One of the problems I have had to ask God to help me with is not to dwell on what I don’t like in people, especially my family.  When I dwell on the negative I either try to change them myself or nag about the change I think they should make.  I can tell neither of those options work.  My feelings change about others when I quit focusing on the negative, which most of the time is little things any way.  The old saying about making a mountain out of a mole hill has been true with me more than I would like to admit.  So, here is the bottom line.  You must develop the habit of reigning in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.  This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse.  It is a decision that you should make, whether they deserve it or not.

 

I Corinthians 13:7  Love believes all things, hopes all things…

 

 

Love Dare Challenge # 8

Love dare number 8 is, “Love is not jealous.”  I think to keep this in perspective we have to remember we are as husbands and wives to complete each other and not compete with each other.

 

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse’s biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club.  Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in.  It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them. 

 

My wife Rhonda is the most unselfish person I know.  For years she has stood on the side lines and watched me be complimented or given rewards and has never one time said, “what about me?”  No, she has always said I am proud of you too.  That is one of the things I love about her the most is that she is my biggest cheerleader.  I only pray that I can be more like her in this area.  Well, I got to go because I am going to remind Rhonda of what a wonderful job she did leading Stockbridge Community Church in worship Sunday.  What can you celebrate with your spouse today?

 

Love Dare Challenge # 9

Love dare number 9 is, “Love makes a good impression.”  When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your personal sense of self-worth increases.  You feel more important and valued.  That’s because a good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction.  Like love, it puts wind in your sails.  I have found my greeting sort of sets the tone for the day or evening.  This is one that I really have never thought about that much.  The question that I will begin to ask myself is, “how can I bless the people in my life with a greeting?”  A greeting doesn’t have to be bold and dramatic every time, but adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate’s heart in subtle, unspoken ways.  A loving greeting can bless your spouse through what they see, hear, and feel.  I don’t know about you but I will have to try to think about my greeting so I let the people around me, especially Rhonda, know I am excited to see them.

 

Remember, love is a choice.  So, we must choose to change our greeting to choose to love.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #10

Love dare number 10 is, “Love is unconditional.”  This is very hard for me to comprehend because every time I think about why I love Rhonda so much I think of all her qualities.  I will admit there are times that I just think about her, but there again it is how she has put up with me all these years and loves me in spite of me.  To be honest, I think I love Rhonda unconditionally, but I don’t think I would like her unconditionally.  That may not make any sense to you and it may sound horrible, but I think it is the most honest thing I can say.

 

Listen to this; it is right out of the love dare book.  “If a man says to his wife, I have fallen out of love with you, he is actually saying, I never loved you unconditionally to begin with.  His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment.  That’s the result of building a marriage on a friendship kind of love or sexual kind of love.  There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction.  Unconditional love, agape love, will not be swayed by time or circumstance.”

 

I think it is this kind of love that casts out fear of someone leaving or getting angry or cheating.  When fear is gone, love blooms and love and trust is what it takes to build intimacy. 

 

The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved, but rather by the one choosing to love.

 

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Cor. 13:7 (NLT)

 

Love Dare Challenge # 11

Love dare number 11 “Love Cherishes.”

 

Our culture says treat your spouse like a car, if you can’t fix it quickly, get rid of it and find another one.  God says the opposite. His word says love cherishes your spouse like you would cherish your own body.  You would never cut off your hand if it was injured, but would pay whatever you could afford for the best medical treatment possible.  That’s because your hand is priceless to you;  it is part of who you are.

 

The lives of a husband and wife are interwoven together.  Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you.  So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body because you will feel the pain in some way. (That’s the truth)

 

It’s time to let love change your thinking.  It’s time for you to realize that your spouse is as much a part of you as your hand, your eye, or your heart.  She, too, needs to be loved and cherished.  And if she has issues causing pain or frustration, you should care for these with the same love and tenderness (That tenderness is what I have to work on) as you would your own bodily injury.

 

If he is wounded in some way, you should think of yourself as an instrument that helps bring healing to his life.  (How do you know when he is hurting? He is ill or sore.  It is like a splinter under the skin, you may not be able to see it on the surface, but it hurts)

 

Whey you look at your mate, you’re looking at part of you.  So treat her well.  Speak highly of him.  Nourish and cherish the love of your life.

 

Ephesians. 5:28-29 (NIV)   In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–

Love Dare Challenge #12

 

Love dare number 12: “Love lets the other win.”  This is one that took me a long time to learn and I have to be honest, I have to still fight the urge to want to have the better idea.  I am a very competitive person and I don’t like loosing at anything.  I somehow have this way of thinking that loosing makes me look weak.  I have learned that is not true at all, especially when it comes to my marriage and family.  I think I felt in control when I would keep the argument going until I wore Rhonda down to wave the white flag.  But, little did I know how STUPID it was. 

 

I have learned that the more I listen, the more I understand other people’s perspectives.  You know what it is amazing is that we may have to think differently about the route we should take to get a desired result, but in the end we will get there.  If you are type A personality like me you think solution, not how to listen.

 

So, here is a lesson from the Jesus:

 

Philippians. 2:5 (NIV)   Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

His attitude was that he was willing to do what God wanted even though it meant he would have to go to the cross.

 

Here is what it means to be willing…… you bend a little.  Willingness is an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations.  It’s like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend.

 

It means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself.

 

James 3:17 (Living)   But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness. Then it is peace-loving and courteous. It allows discussion and is willing to yield to others; it is full of mercy and good deeds. It is wholehearted and straightforward and sincere.

 

 

 

Love Dare Challenge # 13

Love dare  number 13 is, “Love fights fair.”

 

Mark 3:25 (NIV)   If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

 

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict.  That’s because this is when your pride is strongest.  Your anger is hottest.  You’re the most selfish and judgmental.  Your words contain the most venom.  You make the worst decisions.  I have been there and you have been there.  So, let’s talk about some rules because we will be there again in the future.  The fact of the matter is it can be just a harmful to your marriage to hold things in as it can be to have a big argument. 

 

Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

 

So, fight fair by setting up some rules.

 

Here are some of the “Jeff and Rhonda unspoken rules”

 

1.  We will never mention divorce.

2.  We will never fight in public or in front of our children

3.  We will never touch one another in a harmful way.

4.  Failure is not an option.  Whatever it takes, we will work this
     out.

 

Personal rules that are recommended in the love dare book:

 

1.  I will listen first before speaking.  (I have to work on this one
     big time)
    James 1:19 (NIV)   Everyone should be quick to listen, slow  
    to speak and slow to become angry,

 

2.  I will deal with my own issues up-front.
     Matthew 7:3 (NIV)   ”Why do you look at the speck of
     sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the 
     plank in your own eye?

 

3.  I will speak gently and keep my voice down.
     Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)   A gentle answer turns away wrath,  
     but a harsh word stirs up anger.

 

 words in italics from the Love Dare Book p. 62

Love Dare Challenge #14

Love dare number 14 is,  “Love takes delight.”

 

In your marriage relationship, you won’t always feel like loving.  It is unrealistic for your heart to constantly be thrilled at the thought of spending every moment with your spouse.  Nobody can maintain a burning desire for togetherness just on feeling alone. 

 

Delight comes from the decision to delight in your spouse and to love him or her no matter how long you’ve been married.  In other words, love that chooses to love is just as more powerful than love that feels like loving.  To delight in your spouse is to enjoy them again.  Take her hand and seek her companionship.  Desire his conversation.  Remember why you fell in love with her personality.  Accept this person, quirks and all, and welcome him or her back into your heart.

 

I think the greatest thing that helps me delight in Rhonda is laughing with her, flirting with her, and dreaming with her.  That’s why we have a planned date night.  I have learned it’s hard for a relationship to grow cold when you keep the embers of excitement stirred.  So go on and act 20 years old again and date and have fun and watch what will happen to your relationship.  It will be one you are glad you’re in, instead of one you want out of.

 

Live happily with the woman you love through the fleeting days of life, for the wife God gives you is your best reward down here for all your earthly toil. Eccles. 9:9 (Living)

 

words in italics from the Love Dare Book p. 67

Micky Mouse & Me

I have been on vacation down with Mickey Mouse in Orlando, Florida.  I didn’t have an internet connection at my camper which was surprising to me.  So, that’s why I didn’t have any posts last week.

 

I will be back on track with the Love Dare Challenge tomorrow.  But, I would like to tell you about what I learned on this vacation.   I learned to not  try and make special moments happen.  Let them come on their own.  I don’t know about you, but I always want special moments to happen with my kids.  So I, in my mind, start planning how I will do this or that and if I do everything just right everyone will have the best time and they will come up to me and say, “Dad thank you for being such a loving father or husband.”

 

I have tried that for years only to have come home disappointed or even mad.  Thinking things like, I have spent all this energy, time, and money to help everyone have a great time and not one of them appreciated what I did.  Ever been there? 

 

Well, this vacation I just flowed with what everyone else wanted to do and when they wanted to do it.  I didn’t even tell anyone all week, “we have to go” or “we are going to be late.”  I rode rides I didn’t like to ride over and over, after of course taking nausea meds, and praying to God I would not get sick.  I have realized I can’t create those special moments.  All I can do is try to create an environment for the special moments to happen.  This was one of the best vacations ever because I just chilled out.  I think this is what it takes to make a great marriage or home.  You can’t control the special moments, but you can control the environment.  Is your home environmentally friendly?   

 

Proverbs 15:31 (NLT)   If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

 

Love Dare Challenge #15

Love dare number 15 is, “Love is honorable.”   To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth.  When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable.  You are courteous and polite.  When they speak to you, you take them seriously.

 

Honor is a noble word; this is especially true in marriage.  Honoring your mate means giving him or her your full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television.  (This really bothers me when I am trying to talk to Rhonda and she will not stop what she is doing and just listen.  She says she is very talented in the fact that she can fold laundry and listen at the same time.) 

 

There’s another word that takes honor to a deeper level and that is holy.  Holiness means set apart for a higher purpose, no longer common or everyday but special and unique.  A person who has become holy to you has a place in your heart.  He or she is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised, and defended.  (I feel honored when Rhonda praises me and I know she feels honored when I help her and defend her.)

 

When two people marry, each spouse becomes “holy” to each other by way of “holy matrimony.”  Your relationship is like no other.  You share physical intimacy with only her, only him.  You establish a home with this person.  You bear your children with this person.  Your heart, your possessions, your life itself is to be wrapped up in the uncommon bond you share with this one individual. 

 

When you realize that you and your spouse are holy, set apart for one another, you quit trying to replace your relationship with other relationships or things and you start to ask God to repair your holy marriage. 

 

1 Peter 3:7 (CEV)   If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn’t as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers.

 

Words in italics from the Love Dare Book, pp 71-72

LOVE DARE CHALLENGE #16

Love Dare number 16 is “Love Intercedes”   You cannot change your spouse… (Amen, Amen and Amen)  As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heart and mold them into what you want them to be.  But that’s what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do… changing their spouse.  Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  But isn’t that what happens when you try to change your mate?  It’s frustration at the highest level.

 

I tried to change Rhonda for years and the results were, I pushed her away and I was very frustrated.  I had to learn that I could not change her, I could only change me and ask God to change her. 

 

You cannot restore your marriage alone.  You will need something that is more powerful than anything else you have and that is effective prayer.  Prayer really does work.  It’s a spiritual phenomenon created by an unlimited, powerful God.  God saved my marriage because when I prayed God revealed more about me and I was able to see little things that I had been praying for begin to happen.  Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse’s hidden faults?  Do you really think it’s for endless nagging? No, it is for effective kneeling.  No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you.  One of the most loving things you can ever do for your spouse is to pray for them.  SO PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

 

Matthew 7:7 (NIV)   ”Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

 

Philip. 4:6-7 (Living)   ”Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

 

**Words in italics from the Love Dare book pages 76-77

LOVE DARE CHALLENGE #17

Love Dare number 17 is “Love promotes intimacy”

 

I have found that intimacy is something that only happens overtime.  It is revealing yourself to a person, warts and all.  Getting to a high level of intimacy comes in many different ways.  I think it comes through those times of wanting to look deep into your spouse’s eyes and telling them I love you.  It also comes through times of warring.  I mean when you have been fighting over whatever and you work through it instead of running out or throwing in the towel you build intimacy. Your relationship takes big steps forward after you have been through the fire of difficulty. 

 

The greatest enemy of intimacy is fear and distrust.  You can never have an intimate relationship with your spouse if you don’t trust them.  Building trust takes time.  I’m not really talking about the big things like trusting them when they are around the opposite sex or with money.  I mean trusting them with your feelings or the things about you that only they know. 

 

In 1 John 4: 18 it says perfect love cast out all fear.  I believe getting rid of fear is the greatest step toward intimacy.  When you are not afraid of your spouse in any way then when you talk to them you are not afraid they are going to make you feel stupid for saying something.  If you don’t do just what they think you should, you don’t fear retaliation in the bed room.  So, eliminating fear is the step you can take to build intimacy in your marriage. So ask yourself, “Is there anything that makes me fearful about my spouse?” if so talk about it.

 

**SCC family: please bring  diapers this Sunday, March 1st for “Helping In His Name Food Pantry” project.  Thank you!

LOVE DARE CHALLENGE #18

Love Dare Challenge Number 18 is “Love seeks to understand”:  It is amazing, when we are dating we are on our best behavior, we don’t want our potential spouse to see any of our faults.  We are also tuned in to what the person we are dating really likes.  Those words “tuned in” are what make us appreciate each other so much when we are dating.  But after marriage if we are not careful, (I was not careful) we will quit tuning in to our spouse and only be set on getting them to tune in to us.  It’s like having a radio stuck on one channel and not allowing your spouse the privilege of changing it.  When you get married you signed up to change your channel from what you like to find out to what your spouse likes.

 

It is like having an old radio that you had to change by turning the dial until you got rid of all the static.  So I can tell you, Rhonda and I have to keep working real hard to keep the static out of  our relationship.  Here are a few things we have found helpful to tune into each other.

 

►      Ask questions.  We have learned to ask each other what the other like or dislikes.  It will amaze you to find out the things your spouse really doesn’t like and the little things you do that they really do like.  If you don’t ask then you don’t know and if you don’t know you can’t tune in.

 

►      Listen.  That means I have to stop telling Rhonda what I think long enough to listen to what she thinks.  That’s a nice way of saying shutup and listen, in that order.

 

►      Ask God for wisdom.  Let God be the filter between your thoughts and what you say or do.  Ask God how will what you are about to say or do effect your spouse.  It’s always better to have the conversation with God before you have it with your spouse.  I have found out that God is totally tuned in to Rhonda’s needs, he knows what will offend and will bless her and believe it or not after 21 years I still have to ask for his help.  How about you?

 

**Words in italics from the book “The Love Dare Challenge” by Stephen & Alex Kendrick

Love Dare Challenge #19

Love dare number 19 is “Love is impossible.”  Love has to have a source and it is not found in will power or connection between to people.  We have found in our journey that love is much more than a feeling, it’s a choice.  There is no love without choice!  We have to choose to love others and they have to choose to love us.  That choice is easy when your spouse is doing everything you like, but love gets tested when they don’t.  That is why love that is based on feelings will fail.  So we have to have a source of love that goes deeper than our feelings and without God that kind of love is impossible.

 

That’s why if you’re not right with God, you can’t truly love your spouse because He is the source of that love.  You can’t give what you don’t have.  You can’t call up inner reserves and resources that aren’t there to be summoned.  In the same way that you can’t give away a million dollars if you don’t have it to start with, you cannot pay out love in greater measure than you own.  You can try, but you will fail.  So the hard news is this: love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you’re only looking within yourself to find it.  You need someone who can give you that kind of love.

 

1 John 4:7 (NIV)   Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

 

Here is the bottom line:  The closer to God you are the more love you will have.  If you don’t have a relationship with God, you can, just ask.  Pray this, God I ask you to forgive me for not being willing to live my life your way and I know that is called sin.  Come into my heart & by your spirit live in me and lead me to be the person you desire me to be.

Love Dare Challenge #20

Love dare number 20 is, “Love is Jesus Christ.”

 

We only see God’s love when we look at His son Jesus.  That is why God sent him to earth.  It was so that you and I could see how much God loves us.   Yes it is through Jesus that we see the greatest demonstration of love. 

 

John 3:16 (NIV)   “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

              

1 John 4:9 (NIV)   This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

 

Most of us only acknowledge our need for a savior only after coming to the end of ourselves.  I don’t know what that means for you, but for me it means having problems I can’t solve or relationships I can’t fix.  It is when I get to the end of me that I find God standing waiting for me to give it all to him.  When I do this I find that my relationship begins to grow with God because I start to trust him with the things I can’t fix.  I have to be honest with you, that all sounds great for a children’s Sunday school lesson, but for an adult that doesn’t sound logical.  If you feel that way, you’re not alone. I and million of others feel it too.

 

Here is what I would like to challenge you to do. 

 

• Ask God to forgive you of your sins and come in to your life.
• Try asking God to help you with your problem every time it comes to your mind.
• Write down your prayer and changes in your situation.  The changes could be the result of God working.

 

Just to let you know this will work, I had a man show me his canceled divorce papers after many days of prayer just two weeks ago.

Love Dare Challenge #21

Love dare number 21 “Love is satisfied in God.”

 

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)   Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

We all have a hole in our heart that nothing can fill but God.  Your spouse can’t fulfill all your needs because they are humans like you.  There is a story in the Bible in John 4. Jesus meet a woman who had tried getting her needs met through a string of failed relationships.  She was coming to a Samaritan well with both her life and water bucket empty, she had come to this place broken and hardened yet still desperately in need.  But in Christ she found what He called “living water” a supply that wasn’t just for quenching temporary thirst.  What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving a refreshing.  And that is what’s available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is or what they’ve done to you.  God is your everyday supply.  Of everything you need.

 

Learning to trust God with our daily need and our relationships is the only hope we have for peace in this world.  So give trusting God a try!

 

Love Dare Challenge #22

Love dare number 22 “Love is faithful.”

 

I think most of us hear the word faithful when someone is referring to marriage and we think that means they have not committed adultery.  But that is not what faithfulness means.  God shows us what faithfulness means in Romans 5:8 (NIV)   God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 

To me faithfulness means loving someone when they are not giving it back at all or in the same effort you are giving love.  For most of us who don’t feel love back when we offer, feel rejection.  The feeling of rejection is a powerful emotion to overcome when you have done everything you know to say and do to make your spouse feel loved.  It is at that point that we must love deeper through faithfulness.  I don’t like it and you don’t like it but the greatest expression of love that we can ever give some is to love them when they are not showing love to us.  That is the love of God expressed through faithfulness.

 

I know some of you are having to show love right now by being faithful while God is working in your loved ones life.  Don’t give up being faithful to love and pray for them.

 

Remember this 1 Corinthians 10:13 (Msg)   No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #23

Love dare number 23 “Love always protects.”

 

I must tell you this aspect of love has changed in my mind.  I used to think that I was protecting my wife and family if I didn’t let anything physically happen to them.  I have found that is the easiest part of providing protection.  Loving protection protects from harmful influences like the internet, television and schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time. 

 

Love protects from unhealthy relationships.  If anyone is undermining your marriage by speaking negatively about your spouse often, they do not deserve the title “friend.”

 

Love protects the secrets of your spouse.  There is nothing more shameful to your spouse than to find out you told someone something they shared with you in confidence.  (This means keeping your marital sex life personal, unless you are talking to a counselor.)  The only time that you should share secrets of your spouse is when they involve destructive behaviors that are putting you, your children, or themselves in grave danger.  Love that protects wants to bring fame to your spouse, not shame.  I want everyone in the world to think that I am married to the best person in the world, because I am.  Rhonda is human like all of us and has weaknesses like all of us on this earth.  But I will not ever, ever, ever run her down to my children or my parents or anyone else. 

 

Ladies, build your husband up every chance you get publicly.  If you start bragging in public about your husband, you will stop nagging in private.  Be your husband’s cheerleader.

 

Men, listen to her and protect her feelings.  Let her know that no one else may care about the little things she cares about, but you do.  Don’t let anyone threaten your wife or marriage.

 

1 Corinthians 13:6-8 (NIV)   Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

 

Love Dare Challenge #24

Love dare number 24 “Love versus Lust”

 

What is this thing called lust?  Lust in very simple terms is, desiring something that God’s word says is wrong.  If it is consumed, it can bring damage to your life physically by disease, financially by debt, spiritually by putting a barrier between you and God.

 

Lust is getting your eye on something that is not right according to God’s word, which is the only moral standard in the world. Once you start focusing on something that is wrong, it will consume you until you get it. That is when we would say it has “gone from your eye to your heart.” Once it gets to that point, it moves very quickly to action.  That is when you act on what you have allowed in your heart.  At this point, you are not thinking correctly and you are not listening to anyone who is trying give you advice about your lustful desires. The next phase of lust that follows action is shame and regret.

 

So we can see Lust is in opposition to love.  It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden.  And for a believer, it’s the first step out of fellowship with God and with others.  That’s because every object of your lust-whether it’s a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house, or a sports car-represents the beginnings of a lie.  The problem keeps coming when we try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways.

 

By the way,  we all have this battle just in different areas.

 

Lust always breeds more lust.  James 4:1 (NIV)   What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your (lustful) desires that battle within you?

 

The only way to fight the lustful desires that are in all of us is to focus on God and keep asking the question, “is this what God would want me to do or have?”  Another simple way would be to remember the initials WWJD. It stands for (What Would Jesus Do.)

 

I never met anyone who has lived by that philosophy and now they’re living in regret or shame.  It always seems they are living in peace and joy.  You get to choose which philosophy you will live by, Lust or Love. Choose love.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge # 25

Love dare number 25 “Love forgives”

 

In the book, The Love Dare, the author gives one of the best descriptions of forgiveness I have ever read.  So what I am about to share with you is right out to of the book.

 

Imagine you find yourself in a prison-like setting.  As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing.  You see people from your past incarcerated there-people who wounded you as a child.  You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life.  You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member.  Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.

 

This prison, you see is a room in you own heart.  This dark drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day.  But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.  They hurt you to badly.  So you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay here any longer-seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do.  It’s just too much.

 

There is no way out.  You’re trapped inside with all the other captives.  Your unforgiveness, anger and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well.  You have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.

 

Forgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame.  It doesn’t clear their record with God.  It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.  When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose.  You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way.  You’re saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in the situation.  It’s not about winning and losing anymore.  It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go.

 

Romans 12:19 (NIV)   Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

 

Love Dare Challenge #26

Love dare number 26 “Love is Responsible.”

 

Today is about personal responsibility.  It is being responsible for your own actions and admitting that you have faults.  We are so quick to justify our motives.  We are so quick to deflect criticism.  So quick to find fault-especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest one to blame.

 

I remember this being so true in the first ten years of my marriage.  I would blame everything that didn’t go right on my wife, Rhonda.  Maybe I would not come right out and say, “This is your fault,” but my attitude and actions said it.  Boy I can remember really thinking our marriage would be so much better if she would….  Our marriage only began to grow when I realized it was me that needed to change.  It was amazing how I would look to the faults of Rhonda, to justify my own. 

 

This is what I have learned.  To be responsible, I must look to the needs of Rhonda and ask how can I help meet her needs?  I was always looking for her to meet mine.  I have found there are a few phrases that I have to use around my house to show responsibility.  One is the phrase, “I am sorry, I was wrong.”  That’s the difference now in my growing marriage than in my failing marriage and I would never admit I was wrong and that was being irresponsible.  The other phrase that has helped me become a more responsible husband is, “How can I help you?”  I ask this question often, when she is fixing dinner, or cleaning house or doing something for the kids. 

 

I have found that my wife feels loved by me when I want to be around her and when I show interest in the things she is interested in.  I want Rhonda to feel loved by me and I never want her to feel like she is failing as a wife or mother.  That’s being responsible and not childish when I am more concerned about making my spouse feel like a winner, than I am making me feel like one.

 

Matthew 7:12 (NIV)   So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

 

Love Dare Challenge #27

Love dare number 27 “Love Encourages”

 

The one thing that I think all of us are guilty of in marriage is having unrealistic expectations.  We sometimes think the person we are marrying will make us happy and fulfill our hopes.  There is no one who can complete you except God.  High expectations are the enemy of relationships.  I have made this mistake not only with my wife but also with my children.  When we set the relationship bar so high with expectations, it makes your spouse, child or friend feel that they can never please you.  This is without a doubt one of the most frustrating places to be, no matter which side of the relationship you are on. 

 

So, here is the solution.  You must replace expectations with encouragement.  I had to learn this lesson the hard way.  If you are naturally an achiever, it is very easy to put the same demands on those around you that you put on yourself. And when you do, you become a nag.  One of the first things I had to do was to give myself a break.  I have found when I lighten up on myself, I automatically lighten up on others.  The second and most powerful thing I have learned to do is to encourage others in the things they are good at.  You have to be careful when you start doing this because they will read your encouragement as another way to put pressure on them.  So make sure your encouragement is pure and not manipulative.  This change from being a person who set high expectations for others, to just being their greatest encourager, takes a decision to do so every day.  I encourage you to make that decision today.

 

1 Thes. 5:11 (NIV)   Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

 

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #28

Love dare number 28 “Love makes sacrifices”

 

I find in order for love to keep growing in my marriage I have to continually make an effort to be tuned in to Rhonda’s needs.  She is a very low maintenance person, I am very high maintenance.  She never comes right out and says today I need you to do so and so or this is what I need from you.  So, I have to quit thinking of what I need and start asking, “Is everything alright?” or “Can I help you in any way?”  When we quit thinking of what our spouse should be doing for us and ask what can I do for them, it solves a lot of problems.  I have said this before and will say it again, it took me 12 years to learn this marriage principle (If you are struggling stop for one day and ask yourself, “Is my spouse stressed about work, or a parent, or our marriage?”)  If the problem is not obvious to you, then ask how things are going with them from the perspective of concern, not out of sarcasm.

 

Here are some tips from the love dare book on how to pay attention to your spouses needs by asking yourself these questions.

 

            Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you  
            don’t feel like it?

           

            Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you 
            seem able to give everyone else?                

                                     

            Does he feel like a “stranger: – insecure in his work,
            needing home to a refuge and sanctuary?

 

 Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?

 

 Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?

 

 Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed,   needing some safety and intervention?

 

Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are, given your very best effort and focus.  When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.

 

1 Cor. 13:5 (NIV)   It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #29

Love dare number 29 “Love’s motivation”

 

What is it that motivates you to love your spouse?  I can tell you if it is how they make you feel when they do certain things, your motivation will be lost very quickly.  You will start saying things like, “when they start doing this or that to show love, then I will start do this or that to show love.”  There is a word for that kind of shallow love.  It is called “TRADING.”  That will kill our relationships because one person in the relationship will always have of a list of what they have done to earn affection the way they want it. 

 

So, love’s motivation cannot be trading, it has to be God.  I am responsible to God as to how I treat my wife and give her love, even when I have felt she didn’t deserve it.  If you have not gotten there in your relationship you will.  At that point, I have had to learn to love through God.  In other words, he became my motivation to love Rhonda when I don’t feel it or I felt she was not making the effort to express love to me as I was to her.  I am sure she has felt the same way about me many times.  I am the pain in the butt in our relationship.  Love’s motivation has to be God.  The Bible says whatever you do, this includes how you treat your spouse, do it as you are doing it for the Lord.

 

Col. 3:23-24 (NIV)   Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #30

Love dare number 30 “Love brings unity”

 

God is love and He shows us unity through the trinity.  The Father, Son and Holy Spirit, they are three but yet one in purpose and power.  This is the greatest example of unity.  Marriage is designed to be a symbol of unity.

 

Genesis 2:24 (NIV)   For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

 

The only way that a marriage is productive is when the two individuals work to become one flesh.  When a husband and wife embrace that they are to be one in purpose and one in power in the relationship, it produces unity and love grows in unity.  God shows us that when he created how we reproduce.  In order for us to have children, we have to come together in unity, in a moment of love expressed sexually. The two become one and in the moment of the greatest expression of unity, love is reproduced in the form of a child.

 

The Bible says in Epheshians 4:3 (NIV)   Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

 

Peace comes when both husband and wife deny their selfish desires and look to the needs of their spouse and ask, “How can I meet them?”  I know for Rhonda and I, it takes constant communication.  It also takes having fun together.  I love to make her laugh.  When we are having fun together, unity is flowing and love is growing.  Let me say, these fun times don’t just happen, we have to plan them. 

 

Men, when you take to time to plan a fun time, which we used to call “dates” with your wife.  This will do amazing things for your sex life.  So, let that motivate you to plan fun times together at least once a week.  Remember, this fun time outside the house means fun times inside the house.  Unity!

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #31

Love dare number 31 “Love and Marriage” 

 

Genesis 2:24 (NIV)   For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

 

This love dare is one that is over looked in many relationships.  Leaving father and mother means more than just moving out of their home.  It means breaking the natural tendency to ask them for advice before you consult with your spouse.  This is a big problem in our society.  Ladies, remember your husband’s number one need from you is praise and he does not want to have to compete with anyone when it comes to your praise, not even your father or mother.  If you are always talking to mom or dad it will destroy your relationship.  Men, remember she does not want to compete with your mom when it comes to conversation or affection.  I remember in the early years of my marriage of feeling like I could not measure up to being the man that Rhonda’s dad was.  He was a very nice guy by nature and very nurturing.  So when I realized I could never be him, I resented Rhonda wanting to be around her parents.  That all changed when Rhonda begin to praise me as the person she loves and respects.  I never want to try to take her dad’s place I just wanted to be first place in her life.  Now, many years have passed and I now know my place and am very secure in her love.

 

If you are reading this and you spend a lot of time on the phone with your parents, or you are at their house a lot,  you may be driving a wedge unintentionally between you and your spouse. 

 

Ladies, let him know he is number one by praise!

Men, let her know she is number one by talking with her and spending time with her!

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #32

Love dare number 32 “Love meets sexual needs”

 

Today I will be sharing with you right out of the love dare book.  I think what the author has to say about this matter is very good.  I will only share an excerpt, so I encourage you to buy the book and read the entire love dare for yourself.

 

Some people think the Bible has nothing good to say about sex, as though all God seems concerned about is telling us when not to do it and who not to do it with.  In reality, however, the Bible has a great deal to say about sex and the blessing it can be for both husband and wife.  Even its boundaries and restrictions are Gods ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies.

 

It’s true that sex is only on e aspect of marriage.  But as time goes by, one of you will likely value its importance more highly than the other.  As a result of this, the nature of your oneness as man and wife will feel threatened and endangered.  Sex is not to be used as a bargaining chip.  It is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence.  Though there can certainly be abuses to this divinely designed framework, the heart of marriage is on of giving ourselves to each other to meet the others needs.

 

You are the one person called and designated by God to meet your spouse’s sexual needs.  If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking something that rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse.  If your let your mate know by words, actions, or inactions that sex needn’t be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them as sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate.  You violate the “one flesh” unity of marriage.

 

If I could tell every couple one thing in this area it would be to talk about sex with your spouse.  If you don’t resentment will build up and destroy intimacy.  Don’t argue about it, talk about it and that means you listen to what your spouse has to say about your sex life.  If after trying to talk to your spouse about your sex life and you feel you are not getting anywhere, go as a couple and talk to a counselor.  One hour of what you think will be embarrassment is worth a life time of peace and unity in your home.  You may only need to make one visit or two.  You may need someone just to help you see what the real problem is and it usually is never sex.

 

1 Cor. 7:4-5 (NIV)   The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #33

 

Love dare number 33 “Love completes each other”

 

When God created male and female he made us in a way that we would be dependent on each other.  Hollywood promotes the only reason you need someone of the opposite sex is for sex.  There nothing farther from the truth.  When God said in Genesis 2:18 (NIV)    ”It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him,” he meant that He would make man a helper that is suitable for him.  As husband and wife, we are better together.  It is our oneness that produces children, and it takes team work to raise them.  Where one spouse is weak, the other is strong.  When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage.  We multiply one another’s joys and divide one another’s sorrows.

 

I can tell you that understanding this aspect of marriage is when you really start to thrive as a couple.  When you get it, that your spouse is different from you for a reason and it is not to make your life miserable, it is to complete you.  I have said this before and I will say it again.  Stop trying to change your spouse!  If they were like you they could not complete you. 

 

Here is the secret to move from competing to completing as a couple.  Develop the habit of asking your spouse this question in every situation possible.  “What do you think about ________?”   Love realizes that God has put you together on purpose.  And though your may wind up disagreeing with your spouse’s perspective, you should still give their views respect and strong consideration.  This honors God’s design for your relationship and guards the oneness He intends.

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)   Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #34

 

Love dare number 34 “Love Celebrates Godliness”

 

I think we celebrate many things that our spouse achieves or accomplishes.  Like when they get the promotion at work or receive public recognition for voluntary service at church or in the community.  Sometimes we miss celebrating what is most important and that is the effort they make to grow in godliness.   Ladies, when your husband leads your family in spiritual things you should make a BIG deal out of it.  Men, when you see your wife reading bible stories to your children at night, you should celebrate that.  When it comes to our spouse’s spiritual life we think it is a private matter between them and God and we shouldn’t say anything about.  That is not true because our relationship with God is personal, but it is not private. 

 

Let me encourage you to share what you are learning from God.  When you read the bible and something speaks to your heart, share it with your spouse.  When you hear something from a sermon that speaks to you, share it.  When you get to the point of comfortably sharing godly things with your spouse, the intimacy in your relationship is turned up tremendously.  If your spouse is not into God, then compliment the things that they do to show you they respect your commitment to God. 

 

When you catch your spouse doing something godly, compliment them.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #35

Love dare number 35 “Love is Accountable”

 

This is a very important tool to help you when the storms come into your marriage.  There is no such thing as a marriage that is storm free.  Most of the time, they pop up when you least expect it.  One of you say something that the other one doesn’t like and then you start defending yourself and try to point the blame back on the other person.  Does that sound familiar?  So, here is something that will help in those times when the storm has rolled in your marriage. 

 

Interlock your life in a network of other strong marriages.  This will radically increase your chance of surviving the fiercest of storms.  It is crucial that a husband and a wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors.  Everyone needs wise godly counsel throughout life.  Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it.  Fools never ask for it and then ignore it when it’s given to them.  Some people make the mistake of only asking advise about marriage from a friend or coworker who are not godly and have been married four or five times.  Bad idea!!!!!!

 

We all have storms and it is not a matter of if one will come in your marriage.  It is a matter of when.  These are growing times in your marriage. 

 

The sequoia trees tower hundreds of feet in the air and can withstand intense environmental pressures.  Lightning can strike them, fierce winds can blow, and forest fires can rage around them.  But the sequoia endures, standing firm, only growing stronger through the trials.

 

One of the secrets to the strength of this giant tree is what goes on below the surface.  Unlike many trees, they reach out and interlock their roots with the sequoias around them.  Each becomes empowered and reinforced by the strength of the others. 

 

Don’t go it alone!  That is why I say small groups are so important.  So you don’t have to go it alone.

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #36

Love dare number 36 “Love is God’s word”

 

The Bible says in Psalm 119:105 (NIV)   Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

 

I can’t tell you how true that is.  Every person is looking for what is true.  We hear a lot about finding true love.  When someone has done something wrong, we just want them to tell us the truth.  We want our employers to tell us the true.  We want our spouse to be truthful.  Let’s not forget about how we want our children tell us the truth.

 

Our human spirit desires truth, but our human nature runs from it.  All of us have ran from the truth from time to time and all of us have told a lie.  Why? Because sometimes we think the truth is going to harm us in some way.  That of course is not true.

 

The only way to know how to live the best life possible is to find the truth out about life and Jesus made how we do that very clear. 

 

John 8:31-32 (KJV)   Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself and every relationship you have is to read God’s Word because it is truth.  God’s Word is not just a book of wise sayings, it is alive.  It is the Spirit of God put into words.  You can’t see God, but we see the spirit of God by reading his word.

 

That same spirit that lives in you, if you are a follower of Christ, is the same spirit that inspired the Bible.  It will guide you in every situation.  It heals your heart and soul.  Let me encourage you to make the commitment to start reading daily, before you go to bed or when you first get up in the morning.   Make a commitment to read the New Testament this year.  Remember, you will be guided by something, why not let it be the truth?

 

Love Dare Challenge #37

 Love dare number 37 “Love agrees in prayer”

This love dare is simple but challenging.  It is praying together.  The Bible tell us that when we come together in prayer in the name of Jesus that the impossible becomes possible through God. 

Matthew 18:19 (NIV)   “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

We must realize that when God gave you a husband or wife he gave you a prayer partner as well.  I know that when I am under a lot of pressure there is no one that I would rather have pray with me than my wife, Rhonda.  There is something about her deep concern and love that is felt in the deepest way when I hear her pray.  Many times we have come together to pray over family crisis and we have found strength and comfort in the prayers of each other.

I can tell you that if you want to connect at the deepest level as a couple learn to connect on the spiritual level.  Don’t be afraid to talk to your spouse about God.  Believe me most people are very interested in God these days. 

I will admit to you that Rhonda and I don’t have a set time that we pray together as a couple, but we do use our family meal time as a time of prayer with our family.  The Bible promise that when we keep our mind on God we will stay in a state of peace.  Prayer is the best way to keep your mind on God.  If that is true, and I believe that it is, and if we want to keep our marriage in a state of peace, we should keep it focused on God by learning to pray together.

This is something that I will try to make more of an effort with Rhonda instead of waiting on a crisis before we pray together as a couple.  I am going to ask her to pray with me before we go to bed at night or before I go to work in the mornings.  How about you?  I dare you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #38

Love dare number 38 “Love Fulfills Dreams.”

 

We see this kind of love expressed in God when he said this in Psalm 37:4 (NIV) Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

Here is the question that has to be answered before you can try to fulfill any of your spouse’s dreams, “what are their dreams?”  Their dreams for marriage and life can only be exposed through communication and being willing to listen.  I don’t know how you have asked that question in the past to your spouse, but I used to ask it at the wrong times.  When Rhonda and I were in an argument I would ask “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!”  Of course the answer at that time would always be, “I don’t know.”  That described our married life for about eleven years.  I knew I was not living up to what she wanted from me, but I didn’t know what to do to give her what she wanted or needed.   When you are a person who measures everything by winning or losing, it creates anger because you feel you are always losing.  So, I would stay angry and she would live in fear that I was going to be angry.

 

But, all that changed when we started having calm talks about our expectations of marriage and what we needed from each other.  If you have the courage to have that kind of talk with your spouse, you will be surprised at what they need.  I had to learn how Rhonda received love.  Most couples think that their spouse receives love the way they do and if they don’t, something is very wrong with them.  But, that is simply not true!  There is a great book to help you with this matter it is called The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.  Get it and read it together.  It will help you in fulfilling your spouse’s dreams.  Go to www.fivelovelanguages.com to find out your love language in 30 seconds!

 

Here are some other things you can do because you love your spouse and will help you fulfill their dreams.

 

•        Listen to what your mate is saying and hoping for.
•        Remember the things that are unique to your relationship, the pleasures and enjoyments that bring a smile to the other’s face.
•        Give when it would be a lot more convenient to wait.
•        Daydream about these opportunities so regularly that their desires become yours as well.
•        Think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love.
•        Surprise them by exceeding all their expectations with your kindness

 

 

Love Dare Challenge #39

Love dare number 39 “Love Endures.”

 

This means love does not give up.  You never stop loving your spouse even when they say they don’t love you.  This goes back to love is not a feeling.  When someone tells you that after you have opened up your heart to them, it hurts.  If we are not careful to base our love on commitment and not feelings this can be a fatal blow.  I don’t know about you, but I have said things that I wish I had not said in times of arguing.  That is why it is important to have an agreement before you argue that some words are off limits. 

 

What do you do when your spouse is not responding to you or even somewhat removed from you emotionally?  Well, the first thing you do is try to get them to talk to you about what is going on and if that doesn’t work, you try to get them to go with you to talk to a pastor or counselor.  If that doesn’t work you stop trying to get them to do anything and you start spending all your effort in prayer.  I am not kidding, pray.  Pray for your marriage every time you think about it.  Get you a note book and get by yourself once or twice a day and write out your prayer and read it out loud from you heart.  Only God can do what you can’t.  Most people give up when they get to the end of themselves and never really turn their marriage over to God.  So, when they can’t fix it or make it better, they start shutting down and prepare themselves for divorce. 

 

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:8 (NIV)   Love never fails.  That is true because God is love and real love only happens when God is depended on to make it happen.  We must remember that love is always a choice and we can’t make our spouse make the choice that we want them to.  We have to make the choice in that moment to quit trying and start trusting God.  That is where real, enduring love is found.

 

Love Dare Challenge #40

Love dare number 40 “Love is a covenant.”

 

Entering into a covenant with your spouse is different from a contract.  In the Love Dare book the author does a great job explaining the difference.  Here what he says, “There are many differences between covenants and contracts.  A contract is usually a written agreement based on distrust, outlining the conditions and consequences if broken.  A covenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life.  It is spoken before God out of love for another.  A contract is self-serving and comes with limited liability.  It establishes a time frame for certain deliverables to be met and accomplished.  A covenant is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility.  It has no expiration date.  It is till death do us part.  A contract can be broken with mutual consent.  A covenant is intended to be unbreakable.”

 

Our world has a distorted view of marriage agreements.  We have somehow embraced the contract attitude and when you do that it is all based on keeping rules and score.  A covenant attitude, which is God’s way and original design, is based on trust and acceptance.  A covenant says I love you warts and all and I trust that you will never intentionally hurt me and because I believe that about you I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  That attitude brings peace to every marriage.  Will you commit to living in covenant with your spouse the rest of your life?

 

This what Easter is all about, God making a covenant with us warts and all.   Maybe you are trying to treat your relationship with God like it is a contract by saying things like, “I will serve you God the rest of my life if you help my financial problem or whatever.”  That is a contract attitude of distrust and rules and keeping score.  God only enters into covenant relationships of a verbal commitment and that are based on love.

 

If you have not entered that kind of relationship, I invite you to do so today?  Here’s how you do it.

 

Romans 10:9-10 (Living)   For if you tell others with your own mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your own heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in his heart that a man becomes right with God; and with his mouth he tells others of his faith, confirming his salvation.

 

Easter ‘09 Reflection

 

Today I am still trying to put my mind around all that God did yesterday on Easter Sunday.  I am so proud of the people of SCC.  You were the best hosts to every person that was our guest in church yesterday.  Which the quick count was 626 people in service.  That is a record for us.

 

I say praise God. God has done a great work among us and He continues to do so.  I couldn’t help but to think back to that little house that had been turned into a church in Forest Park.  14 years ago is where it all began. That first Easter in 1995 we had maybe 120 people show up, but it began a dream inside of me that has only grown over years. 

 

I dream of a church were every member and regular attendee shares a common belief that God has placed them here on this earth to give hope to the hopeless and help through the power of God to all who are down.  It is my prayer that every person will open their heart to see how great and how good God really is. 

 

I think the people of SCC are getting very close to becoming that kind of church.  Stockbridge Community Church you are the best people I have ever had the privilege to be around.  I count it a joy to be able to be called your pastor.  Thank you for allowing me the privilege to serve with you in this great work God has given us.  Many lives have been changed because you are so selfless and compassionate.

 

If you can’t tell I am overflowing with thankfulness today for what God is doing.  I love the Church and Staff I get to serve with every day.

 

 

Stop, Drop, and……Pray

Sunday I shared with the people SCC that one of the greatest ways to have your heart healed by God is to start praying.  I shared a story about a time when firemen come to our school to teach us not to play with matches, but they also taught us that if our clothes were to catch on fire, our first reaction should be to stop, drop, and roll.

I believe that when I our life is burning out of control and we feel we are going to be consumed by our problem, it is just a sign for us to stop, drop, and pray.  The Bible says it this way,  Psalm 46:10 (NIV) “Be still, and know that I am God…”

I really think God desires for all of us to reconnect with him through prayer.  I shared Sunday how that if we really wanted God to answer a prayer that we should make a prayer list.  Just write some things down on a piece of paper and ask God everyday to do something about those needs.  I can tell you that something changed in me when I did that for a couple of weeks.  I found myself letting go of trying to fix the things that were out of my control.  It was like when I wrote them down I was really releasing them to God.  The more I pulled the list out and prayed over it, the more I began to trust God that he was going to do the miracle.  I can tell you my list is not all about me and my family.  But I did have one personal request for myself out of the 10 that I wrote out.  Can I tell you the one that God chose to answer first was the personal one for me?

I encourage you to make your list and ask God everyday for His help with whatever is on your list.  You may be surprised like I was at which prayer he decides to answer first.

God’s Word Reads Us

Yesterday I was standing in a funeral home talking to a couple from SCC who had come to show their support for a fellow congregate whose father had passed away.  While I was standing there talking with them, the wife shared how she had to pull her Bible out and start reading it when her husband’s ex-wife came around.

 

I really thought she was kidding, but she said it was for real.  I laughed and thought how funny.  Then she shared with me how that when she would try to find those verses that would back up her attitude towards a person who was evil in her eyes,  she would always read something about how we are to pray for our enemies and those who try to use us.

 

As our conversation went on and I listened to what she had to say, of course the first thing that came to my mind was a warning to her husband.  I looked at him and said, “You had better look to see if her Bible is in her hand when you come home.  If it is, it might be a sign to you that something is up!”  Of which could be a blessing because at least he would know something was wrong, instead of being like the rest of us having to ask our wife, “Is something wrong?” and hearing that dreaded word, “Nothing.”

 

You know what this lady shared is true about God’s Word.  When you begin to read it, it begins to read you.  Has that ever happened to you?  You need to apologize to someone, but you haven’t because you have reasoned in your mind that the person didn’t deserve the apology and you feel good that you are not going to.  Then, you decide to pick up the Bible and begin reading it and all of the sudden that person comes to your mind that you have thought about apologizing to.  That is God’s Word reading you.  Let it, because it will set you free.

 

John 8:31-32 (KJV)   Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

 

 

two keys to peace

I went to bed last night watching the news which is not a good thing to do went you are a person like me because I usually get keyed up and can’t go to sleep.  I was watching all the Tea parties happening all over the country.  Our country is in a defining moment and we definitely need God to help us.

 

The reason I bring all that up is because it affects all of our lives and there are many things that are going on that we can’t do anything about that concern us deeply.  It is amazing to me how God always gives me the constant reminders that he is in control.  Last night when I was watching the news my daughter, Katelyn said, “Dad, why are you watching that? God is going to do what needs to be done.” 

 

The question that I think all of us are asking is, “How can we have peace while our country and the world is experiencing so much fear?”  Here are two things that have helped me live in peace:

 

Ø Peace comes when I am aware of God’s presence.

I must be aware of what I can’t see, which is a lot more real than what I can see.  We tend to think that peace means the absence of excitement and conflict.  Peace is really found when you live in the presence of God

 

           Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)   You will keep in perfect peace him 
           whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

 

Ø Peace comes when I understand that God has something for me to do. 
This is one of the greatest peace factors outside of the one above.  When you realize that you are in this world for a reason and a purpose and you discover it; that brings peace and fulfillment to your life.

 

 

So here is the question:   Are you at place of peace in your life?  I can tell you it has taken me years to discover what I am sharing with you.  I think when I quit trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be, and found out what God had wired me up to do, and went for it, that is when I found peace.    

 

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)   For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

 

Thank you SCC

When I began this Blog in November of 08, it was to let the people of SCC get a little closer to me.  The goal was if I could have a three minute conversation with every person each day, this is what is on my mind.

 

Today, I am so thankful for all the goodness of God that is expressed through the people of SCC every day.  That goodness has never been more expressed than this past weekend when 82 people showed up at all five Kroger stores of Henry County and bagged groceries, pumped gas, greeted the customers, all to benefit A Friends House in Henry County.  It is our belief at SCC that, “when we give, people live.”  Thank you SCC for your God-like heart.

 

I want to say thank you for bringing all the supplies to help the Haven House in Henry County.  It was an overwhelming sense of gratitude as I looked at all the bags of supplies that lined our sanctuary.  I know that many women and children will receive hope and help as a result of the love you expressed by your unselfish gifts to broken people in our county.

 

It is just amazing to me the more I see people reaching out to help other people who are broken, that the person who gives the help is automatically helped.  I have found out in my own personal life that when I give, it brings alive the spirit of God in me more than anything.

 

Stockbridge Community Church, I want to tell you I love you and I am so blessed to be able to serve with you as we make a difference in the lives of the people of Henry County through the power of God that is expressed through love.

 

Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)   ”Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

 

 

Combating Brokenness

Yesterday was a day I witnessed brokenness all day in those around me.  When I went into my office, the first note I received was a note that someone’s family member had passed away. That family is broken because of the loved one dying.

 

I went to my first appointment and it was with a Pastor who had a moral failure over a year ago and he has been trying to keep his family together.  Now, he wants to start over as a pastor and feels no one will give him a chance because he had this failure.  He was broken because of guilt and shame.

 

On the way home from that meeting, I talked with another pastor on the phone who was broken because he had been at his church for nine years and built a new church building. Now, because of the economy and a situation out of his control, the bank is going to foreclose on the church.  He may be forced to move his family to a place that he doesn’t want to go, just to survive.  My heart was broken as I listened to him literally cry for 45 minutes and ask, “Why?”  He was saying over and over again, “ministry is not supposed to be this hard.”  He was broken.

 

When I returned to my office I received an email that revealed more pain of people broken financially.  I walked back down the hallway and met a person who was just worn out from the stress of having a child with a lot of special needs.  She was broken and physically exhausted.

 

I came home and played basketball with my daughter and was having a great time and then I took the long three point shot.  The ball went into the air, the fans went wild as it looked to be the game winning shot. (Of course the only fan was me.)  The ball hit the back board and would you know it, the back board broke. 

 

We all face brokenness all day. We just have to open our eyes and see it in ourselves and in other people.  The Bible says that we are to confess our sin to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed.  Again, confess our brokenness and let prayer be the healing agent of God for our brokenness.

 

James 5:16 (NIV)   Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

 

Enjoy the Journey

Yesterday my staff took me to lunch after our staff meeting.  You know what I love about my life is that I have get to share it with people that I love, my staff and my Church.  We have moments when we have to be honest with each other but at the end of the day we love each other.  We all believe that God has given us a commission to change the world one person at a time.

 

Life is not about a destination, it is all about the journey.  Last February I was driving back from our winter vacation when I realized this more than ever.  My son who is now 17, sat up front with me while every one else went to sleep.  We had a lot of small talk as he changed the channels on the radio, he loves all types of music.  I thought after I returned home, “what was the most significant moment of the whole week for me?” It was the ride to Orlando and back.  It was the journey.

 

T hat is the greatest joy I get by being married to the same woman for almost 22 years and being the pastor of the same church for 14 years and having the people that work with me everyday be with me many of those years.  It is the journey how we have grown together.  I guess one thing I have learned through the years and through many struggles is don’t spend so much focusing on where you want to go and miss the good people God has placed around to enjoy the journey together with.

 

I would like to say thank you to some people who have been on that journey with me a long time.

 

To my wife Rhonda – Thank you for believing in me and my dream.

To Angie Benton – Thank for all your years of faithful service to me.
To Chesnee Dorsey – Thank you for all your big picture thinking.
To Ricky Mosel – Thank you for be willing to do whatever it takes.
To Angie Martin – Thank you for making sure I have time for myself.
To Tammy House – Thank you for your passion for others.
To Stacy Steen – Thank you for helping us put legs on our vision.

 

To all the people at SCC that have believed in me and the vision more than I have believed in me.  I say thank you for being on this journey with me and holding my hands up when I wanted to give up.  You have always been there to lift me up.  I would not be the pastor I am today without you wonderful people encouraging me and supporting me the way you have.

 

I love that I have gotten to share years with all of you on this journey to be all that God want us to be.  I hope I get to have many more with you.

 

God Focused Dreams

Wow, I can’t believe it is 7:08 a.m. I have been up since 4:30 a.m. working on the sermon for Sunday.  This has been one of those that I have studied for hours and can’t seem to get it.  I don’t know if you have ever started to write a letter or a paper for school and after writing for a while you read it and say, “That’s no good,” and then wad up the paper and throw it in the trash.  Well, I have been through that process over and over.  I have hit the delete key on my computer more than I would like to admit.

 

I believe that God has come through again and given me something to say that will encourage us to follow his dream for us.  As I was preparing to talk about broken dreams this Sunday, I found myself thinking, “what good is a dream if it only benefits me or mine?”  This may sound nuts to you and maybe it is my lack of sleep, but it just hit me today that it is impossible to have a dream that God can bless if it doesn’t involve giving hope and help to other people.  If you take that equation out of your dream it’s all self promotion.

 

The worst part about that is I have asked God to bless a lot of things in my life that were good things, but if the truth was known my heart’s motive was so I would look good.  God forgive me.  I don’t know about you, but I really want all of my dreams to be God focused dreams.  When God blesses them, other people’s lives are blessed with hope and help.  That’s what I believe the Bible means when it talks about living for the glory of God.

 

Romans 6:13 (NLT)   Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God.

 

Open Mouth…insert foot

I don’t know if you have the problem I have of foot in mouth disease.  This disease is always bad but it is really, really bad when you are a public speaker.  Sunday, in our first service, I was telling everyone how we have become self serving as a nation.  Like when you go to the gas station it is self service or when you go to Wal-Mart they have a self service check out.  Then, I came to the statement that I could have left alone.  I said when it comes to eating we like self service that is why many of us choose a buffet.  At that point I remembered me sitting at a Golden Corral in Winder, Ga. a few months ago and one of my family members said, “you know what buffet stands for?” and I said, “no.”  They said big, ugly, fat, folks, eating, together.  I thought then it was funny because it described my family, me included.  Well, yesterday I said that in the first service only thought about my family.  Then after the service at lunch some brought that up and said it back to me and when I heard them say it I realized I could have offended just about everyone in that service.  What a stupid thing to say.  It’s just another time that I have to trust God to put stoppers in the ears of anyone that could have been offended.  That is just one of the many stupid things that happens whey you have foot in mouth disease.

 

Have you ever experienced foot in mouth disease? If so I would love to hear your story.

 

 

Learn to Laugh

Yesterday was a great day.  It was very productive and I got many things done that needed to be done around the office.  I started work on this new series that we plan on doing starting in June called, “Man 2 Man.”  I can’t wait for this one.  I love Mondays anyway because it is the day that Rhonda cooks a good meal for our family and we all sit around the table for an extended amount of time laughing and talking.  That is the one thing I love about my family is that we love to laugh together.  After that great meal together Rhonda, Katelyn and I went and watched our church softball team in action.  You learn a lot about people watching them play ball.  It was so much fun sitting with the family and friends of the players in the stands watching and laughing.  We even did the wave, which was a sight with just twenty five people. 

 

After the game my daughter challenged me to a game of basketball.  She said she could shoot better at night with the lights on, because the sun was not in her eyes.  She wasn’t kidding.  Most of the time I let her win but last night I thought I would go out there and take her down real quick and come back in and finish off those chocolate covered peanuts.  She beat me real quick and she not only beat me, but my neighbor came over and I could tell he wanted to shoot the basket ball. So I said, “Ted, play Katelyn in a game of PIG.”  She took him down in about five minutes.  I said, “Ted don’t take it easy on her.”  He rolled his eyes at me after missing the shot she had just made.  It was fun until his wife made him come home.

 

What I great day.  It’s in the little things that make life so great.  In the Daws family we try laugh about as much as possible.  Why not today try laughing a little more?

 

Proverbs 17:22 (CEV) If you are cheerful, you feel good; if you are sad, you hurt all  over.

 

 

a van trip and an expression of love

I have been on a road trip the last two days.  A fellow minister’s mother passed away and he serves in our denomination.  So, I rode on a van with five young pastors to Kentucky.  I can tell you things can get very interesting when pastors start to get bored.  They begin to tease each other, tell of all the heroic things they have done, and all the stupid things they have done and said.  I can tell you, the stupid things said and done were way more numerous than anything else.  We laughed at each other and poked fun at each other and left each other just before getting to the point of not wanting to be around each other.

 

Our friend was very glad to see us and very emotional when we walked into the Church for his mother’s funeral.  He kept saying, “I will never forget this and I can’t tell you how much this means to me to know how far you’ve all drove to get here.”  We drove to express our love for him and the work he does to make our lives better.  It was amazing how we had no words to comfort him, we were just there.  You know, we get it all wrong when it comes to love most of the time as a husband, wife, parent, friend or neighbor.  We think it is what we give, do, or say that expresses the greatest love. I don’t think it is that at all.  I think it is just being there, that is one of the greatest expressions of love.

 

I believe that is what we will remember most in our lives.  It is the people who were there in our time of need.  I pray that SCC will be a church known as a group of people who will be there for the people in Henry County in times of need to express God’s love.

 

John 13:35 (Msg)   This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

 

oops

I don’t know why such crazy things happen to me, but they do.  Friday I was with the young man that I mentor at Stockbridge Middle School and we were talking about why he didn’t get to go to Six Flags with the rest of the school.  The reason was because he had to spend some time in in-school suspension because he had so many silent lunches.  I said Jalen, “why do you get so many days of silent lunch?” Come to find out it was because when his classmates say something he doesn’t like he will yell out, “SHUT UP!”

 

So, I was in our little room that we meet in every week and I said, “Jalen do you understand that two words are causing you all this trouble to the point of not allowing you to go to Six Flags?”  At that point I said, “Here they are,” and I them said loudly, “SHUT UP!”  After I said that I saw the assistant principal look in the window as if to see if everything was alright.  I thought, “oh great,” I am sure he thinks, “Some mentor.  I am yelling at this kid, telling him to SHUT UP!”  Everything in me wanted to tell Mr. Glen, “I was trying to teach Jalen to control his tongue.”  So after I left the room with Jalen I saw Mr. Glen and said, “Hey, how are you?” He said, “Good,” and kept on walking.  Everything in me wanted to say, “I am not the jerk you probably think I am.”  By the way, did I tell you Mr. Glen’s child attends our academy at our church?

 

I just had to go because at that point anything I said would have made things worse.  It just happens to me.  Sunday, in our second service, I was trying to say I want to “recap” the last four weeks.  What came out was I want “re-crap” this series and everyone laughed and I had no idea as to why.  I did everything every public speaker does when people laugh and you don’t know why.  I checked my zipper to make sure it was up and I checked my nose to make sure nothing was hanging.  After checking those two things in a split second, I had no clue until after the service.  One person said, “We need to re-crap the service today.  That was a good one!”  Then, it hit me that is what everyone was laughing at.  I just hate I didn’t get to enjoy the moment with them.  Just another day in the life and times of the one and only Jeff Daws.

 

I feel Paul’s pain in the Bible when he said this in  2 Corinthians. 12:11 (NIV)   I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it.

 

Have you ever been there?

How to have Peace

Today I am reflecting on the last four weeks and the series we just completed called, “Broken.”  It has been one of the most effective we have ever done.  We have seen many people commit their life to Christ and make a commitment to membership.  We have recorded numbers of people going into small groups.  Many people are getting involved in ministries at SCC.  Many have served in the community. 

 

As I look back, I am amazed at what God has done.  I don’t know how many people that I have personally talked to who have said, “I have never put my trust in God, but I have now.”  One man I spoke with yesterday said, “I am in my 50’s and I have never been a Christian until now.  I have given my life to God and he is changing me.”  This is the story I am hearing from many people.  The other thing that I have heard from those people is that the people here at SCC are so real and loving.  God is up to something big.  Today I see God doing things that I could have only dreamed of. 

 

I have asked myself, “what made this series different from all the others we have done?” I think I have the answer.  PRAYER!  Remember, I asked 100 people to pray for 5 minutes a day for 20 days so we would have 10,000 minutes of prayer.  I myself got away for three days and prayed and fasted asking God to do something great in this series.  He answered our prayers. 

 

So, I have concluded it was not what we did differently it was what God has done as a result of prayer.  I have taken the prayer challenge myself, I wrote down ten things and called it a prayer list and began to ask God for them.  It is amazing how I see God at work like never before.  I think we forget prayer takes things out of our hands and places them in God’s hands. 

 

The more you pray the more peace you will have.  So what’s it going to be? Stress or peace?  You get to decide by choosing to pray or not to pray.

 

Hebrews 11:6 (KJV)   But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Hearing God and Finding Nemo

What a weekend.  I had the privilege of going on a trip with my daughter and her school to Chicago.  We left Wednesday at 6:00pm on a bus and rode 14 hours.  Needless to say there was no sleep that night.  We did the same hours Saturday. We left at 6:00pm and arrived by back at the school Sunday at 8:00am.  I don’t want to take another bus ride in near future.  It was a lot of fun with the middle school kids.  You know God is amazing in how he speaks. I don’t how it works with you, but with me he does it at the most unlikely times and ways.

On the way back I had been looking over some notes I had made of the Man 2 Man series that we are going to be doing in June.  I was asking God what was the main thing he wanted me to share with the church during this series.  I can tell you at that time nothing special came to my mind. I wrote some thoughts down but nothing I felt was directly from God.  The bus stopped at 3:30am in Kentucky to change drivers and I got up out of my seat to stretch my legs. The movie, “Finding Nemo” was on.  I have seen it and it is not one of my favorite movies.  So, I sat back down and thought I will try to go to sleep, but couldn’t so I watched the end of the movie.  What was interesting is that the part of the movie I started watching is where Nemo’s father and the little angel fish were inside the whale. Nemo’s father was holding on and trying not to go into the whale’s belly.  The other fish was telling him to let go and fall into the unknown.  Nemo’s father asked, “How will I know that everything’s going to be alright?”  The other fish answered, “We don’t know that it will be, we just have to trust it will be.”  At that point they let go and fell into the whale’s belly and he blew them out the hole that is on the top of a whale’s head to freedom. Then, they were able to arrive at the place they had wanted to get to.

 

The message to me was, trust God in the unknown even though it is scary and believe that I will end up at the place in life the I have been trying to get to.  In other words it was just another reminder from God, let go and let God.

Ephesians. 3:20 (Msg)   God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

How to be healed

Yesterday I talked with someone who was dealing with the same problem they had to deal with two months ago.  Some how I knew it was going to repeat itself again.  I was trying to explain to this person how God wants them to be healed of their problem not give them a quick fix.

 That is what I see so many times as a pastor.  People come to me and ask for advice and I give them the best Biblical counsel I can give from God’s Word. You can see the relief on their face as they see hope begin to arise in their minds and hearts.  The problem is they try to live on that little bit of hope that I give them without taking the next step.  You see, God wants us to be healed and not just give us a quick fix.  The only way you can get better in whatever problem you have is to ask God to heal you, not just make you feel better.

 I don’t know if you have ever had surgery or not, but if you have, you know the doctor cuts open your body and makes a wound to repair what is hurting you.  Then, after the doctor finishes, they sow you up and the healing begins.  This is called the recovery time, which is the most critical, and we must do exactly as the doctor says to heal.  If not, we will have to have surgery again and at that point we will have issues with scar tissue.

 I see people all the time who need surgery on the inside, but will not take the next steps and do their part to get what God wants them to have.  Like going and talking with a Christian counselor, or going to celebrate recovery, or making prayer and reading God’s word a part of their daily life.

 So, I watch a lot of people repeat the same cycle over and over again because they keep choosing the quick fix that only lasts a short time and refuse to take the step of healing.

 God’s will is that you be healed.  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  If that is the case, most of us are nuts.  Why not today make a decision to take a step toward healing.  Call the counselor, start making prayer and reading your Bible a daily habit, join a small group.

 James 5:16 (NLT)   Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

Life saver

Yesterday I talked with two people, one had just come through deep depression and the other person is just coming out of a failing career and starting over.  In both situations, they both had experienced God in great ways.  They found God to be real in the most difficult situations.  I can tell you I have been there myself and I will say what I have said many time before, “You don’t know God’s all you need until God’s all you got.”  It seems to me that most people find the reality of God on the bottom.  I guess the life lesson for all of us is start looking for God before you get to the bottom. 

You know, when you go out in a boat you have to have by law a life preserver on board for every person in the boat just in case the boat sinks.  Any time you are doing any kind of water events, you have to have on a live preserver because if you fall in the middle of a lake, you can’t swim but so far before you get tired and give up and drown.  After having the conversation with those two people, it just reminded me again that God is our real life preserver.  Trying to live life with out God is like trying to swim the ocean with out a live preserver. It is too overwhelming and you give up and drown. 

So if you find yourself drowning in doubt, difficulty, pain, a broken heart, financial brokenness,  embrace your relationship with God through prayer and reading his word. By doing so, you will let go of the things that are dragging you under.

 Proverbs 3:5-6 (NCV)   Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success.

It’s not in vain

There is a verse in the Bible that I memorized a long time ago.

1 Corinthians 15:58 (TEV)   So then, my dear friends, stand firm and steady. Keep busy always in your work for the Lord, since you know that nothing you do in the Lord’s service is ever useless.

The last part of that verse has helped me keep going as a Christian for many years, “know that nothing you do in the Lord’s service is ever useless.”  As a young follower of Christ I embraced that and believed that with all my heart.  Little did I know that God’s plan for my life was much bigger than I could ever imagine.  Sometimes it feels like the things that you do seem useless as a Christian. 

I have spent hours, weeks, and sometimes even years with people sharing with them God’s love and only to watch them, just out of the blue, turn and walk away.  It just makes me say, “What are you thinking?”  I mean, these people’s lives were better than they had ever been once they made the decision to follow God.  Yet, as they turned back to their old ways their life got twice as bad as it was before following Christ.

It is that uselessness that drives me nuts because I took it personal every time.  But, I realized that most of those people just had a relationship with me and not God.  Nevertheless, God’s promise is that the good that I did to help those people is not useless or in vain.

That is what keeps me serving, is to know that I am to do what I do for God and him only.  I can’t control what other people do with what I offer.  It is just my responsibility to keep offering hope and help to anyone who will receive it through God’s word.

I think getting past those discouragements has helped me learn that God is God and I am not.  I am his servant and I know that he has a greater plan than what I can see. So, I will serve him passionately and be willing to be taken advantage of, talked about, and misunderstood because I know that my work for him is not in vain. 

How about you?

Thoughts from 32,000 feet

As I type this entry, I am on an airplane flying over Lubbock, Texas.   The screen says we’re at an altitude of 32,009 feet and traveling at 540 miles per hour.  Last night I taught our membership class and there was a lady that shared with me that she had took the challenge to drink more water as a result of a message I shared in January.  She shared with me and those standing around that she had a habit of drinking 8 to 10 20 0unce diet cokes a day and had replaced that habit with drinking an 8 ounce bottle of water at the top of every hour.  She said she drinks between 120 to 150 ounces a day.  The result of all this water drinking is that her arthritis is much better.  She could hardly move her fingers without discomfort and now she can move her fingers freely without pain.  This is making the case for consistency, which it always pays off.

 How are you doing with those goals that you set at the beginning of the year?  Have they faded into the sunset and are you right back to the place you were before you set them? Have you been consistent with the little changes?  Remember, it is the little changes that you make over time that make the biggest difference.

 Dave Ramsey shared in Financial Peace University a lesson that he learned from a billionaire.  The billionaire got it from a very famous book called, “The Hare and the Tortoise.”  The lesson is of course…… the tortoise always wins.  I don’t want to ever forget that in every area of my life. 

 I remember reading one of John Maxwell’s books and in it he did a great job describing how people look at different situations and make decisions.  He uses the illustration of people on a sail boat and the wind.  He says some people complain about the wind, some people hope the wind will change direction, but people who really want to change quit talking about the wind and adjust the sail.

I challenge you to ask God to help you to adjust the sail of your life.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)   Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Opportunities Missed

You may be getting this a little later because I am in California at a conference with Rick Warren which is going wonderfully.  It is 7:30pm here which means it 10:30pm on my body clock.  I am functioning on very little sleep. I am rooming with our student pastor Ricky and he can snore with the best of them.  I also had an air vent blowing right in my face so I finally gave up the fight at 4:30am California time and went to the exercise room.

I told you yesterday I was on a plane writing my blog and reading a book.  I was determined I was going to finish a book I started a month ago.  I could tell a young man beside me was interested in talking.  He told me he was on his way to Fiji which is half way around the world because he had joined the Peace Corp.  I didn’t really know there was a place called Fiji, I just thought that was a great name for a company that produces bottled water.

Well I had a short conversation and was determined to do work on the four hour plane ride. So I just kept my nose in the book and wrote my blog and a few important emails.  About 10 minutes before the plane lands, you know when they tell you to sit up in an upright position and prepare for landing. The young man leans over and says, “Do you watch the news?” I said, “Not today, but I do.”  He said, “Did you hear about the man drowning in a rip tide?”  He mentioned the city and I didn’t pay much attention because I thought he was just making small talk.  I said, “No I didn’t hear about that” and he said, “That was one of my best friends and I got the call last night and I am leaving without going to his funeral or anything.”  He said, “I just need to get that off my chest.”  Of course you could have knocked me over with a feather.  I felt like the most selfish person in the world because my goal of finishing that stupid book was more important than being sensitive to a hurting person.  God forgive me.

With God’s help I don’t want to ever let that happen again.

Hebrews 13:2 (Living)   Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!

God’s part….our part

We are finishing up with our conference with Rick Warren and it has been fabulous.  I feel like I have been drinking from a fire hydrant of information.  One thing Rick reminded us of is that our spiritual growth has two parts, God’s part and our part.  He shared this verse and made the following comment that I totally agree with.

Philip. 2:12-13 (NIV)   …continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

God works in you through changing your thoughts and challenging your will on the inside as you give your life to him.  At salvation God does a great work in us, but it takes years for us to work it out in our life.  The more we seek God’s will for our life he releases his power that changes us. 

If you are saved, you have all the power you need for whatever you are facing.  That’s God’s part. Your part is to learn to trust God as you live out your life for His credit.

Go today walking in God confidence because he is in you and is for you.  Trust him and take the step toward him you have been procrastinating on.

when delayed….pray

 Have you ever had one of those days that nothing turned out the way you had it planned?  Well, today is one of those days for me.  We left our hotel this morning at 6:30 so we could be at the airport in plenty of time.  The truth is I have a three day window when it comes to being away from home.  Traveling is not something I enjoy for business, it is only enjoyable when Rhonda or the kids are with me on vacation.  Days like today are why. 

 So let me tell you what has happened.  We got to the airport and through security at about 7:50am, which was very early.  We ate at McDonalds and went to our Gate for departure and saw that our 9:45 flight to Phoenix AZ, had been delayed.  We thought that will make us miss our connection to Atlanta, but no big deal, Atlanta is one of busiest airports in the world we will get on a later flight out of Phoenix.   WRONG!!!  So as I write this entry from thirty thousand feet the present plan is that we spend the night in Phoenix and if everything goes good we will flight out tomorrow at 3:45pm and be at Atlanta at 9:50pm.

 I am praying now that something changes before we land in Phoenix.  That may sound like it is silly to you to ask God for something like that, I mean I don’t have an emergency or anything.  I believe God is concerned about the little things in our lives and wants to help us if we will only ask him.  It takes faith no matter how big the problem is and God wants us to grow in our faith so why not ask God for the little things in your life every day and watch what will happen.

I will let you know how my trip turns out.  If God does the miracle I will be at home tonight with my beautiful wife and children and if he doesn’t, I will be stuck another night with Pastor Ricky.  After writing that, my prayer just became more intense.  PLEASE GOD, PLEASE GOD let me get home tonight.

 Ask God for the little things and you will have the confidence in him to ask for the big things when they come.

 James 4:2 (NIV)   You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

when life gives you lemons…

As I write this I am on my way home at last.  I didn’t have my prayer answered yesterday to come home.  If you don’t understand that sentence just read my last post.  After being politely let down by a customer service agent, I thought, “What can we do constructive for the next twenty four hours while stuck in AZ?” 

So, I rented a car and asked, “How far to the Grand Canyon?” and they said, “Four hours and you will never make it there and back if you have to catch a plane at 3:20 tomorrow.”

After I rented the car I looked at Ricky and Chesnee and said, “Have you all ever seen the Grand Canyon?”  They said, “No”, and I said, “You are about to.”  Their faces were blank as if they did not want to hurt my feelings.  I could tell they would be content to stay close and go enjoy dinner some were new.  “NOT!”  I said, “I can’t let you be this close to one of the Seven Wonders of the World and not see it.”

So, to make along story short we got to a town that was 75 miles away and got us some cheap rooms and got up at 5am and left for the canyon.  It rained like you would not believe so I prayed again and asked God to please let it be nice at the canyon so Ricky and Chesnee could see it in all of it’s splendor.  We arrived at the canyon at 7am and with 15 miles before we got there the rain stopped and the skies got bright.  We walked over and looked and it was beautiful.  We only had one hour tops we could stay and get back without missing our plane.  After they looked at one of God’s greatest natural creations for about 20 minutes, a fog rolled in.  I just think God held the clouds back at my request.  I just believe he does things like that for all of us that we just take as coincidence.  The difference is prayer goes up first and something different happened.

We made our flight in plenty of time and had some great conversation in that 9 hour car ride.  I got to see more of their heart for God and SCC from the words that were shared.  God knows best.  Why not take your disappointment as maybe a redirection and take a risk at something new?

Romans 8:28 (NIV)   And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Remember

Yesterday I had the privilege of going down to Heritage Park in Henry County for a memorial service to remember our soldiers who have given their life for our freedom.

I had not planned on being there, but after the service Sunday something inside of me was moved to want to take a moment with those who have given their all for our country.  I also wanted to, in some strange way, be around the loved ones of those who had suffered the pain of losing a family member or close friend to war.  I just wanted to be there to comfort them and support them.

I didn’t know who would be there at the memorial or what a memorial service would look like because I have never been to one.  When I walked up to the memorial site, I was pleasantly surprised to see 50% of the people were from SCC.  As I moved around I could see the determination on each ones face to honor those who had given their lives.

You know, I don’t want the sacrifice of our soldier’s blood to be wasted.  They died that we could live in this country and be free to say the name of Jesus and share the name of Jesus.  So today, I guess I would say I am thankful to Jesus for dying that I can call him my savior and I am thankful to the soldiers who were wounded and died for my country that I may be free to publicly share the name of Jesus with others.

Remember!!!

1 Thessalonians 1:3 (NIV)   We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

what is in your heart to do?

I see our world and our country in a state of fear.  Here in America we try to keep creating laws that will keep bad things from happening to anyone.  That is a good intension, but it ends up paralyzing everyone.  That philosophy of life binds everyone because we have to make sure we are not breaking a law when we want to do good for people.  It is crazy, many people want to do good, but are afraid to do something because they may break a law or get sued by the person they are trying to help.

The only law that works is God’s moral law.  God not only wrote them in His Word, but He writes them on our hearts.  It is called a God given conscience. 

The old saying, “follow your heart” is a good philosophy of life if your heart is set on God.  When your heart is set on God and His ways you can trust Him to lead you in the path of right things and not be filled with worry and fear of doing the wrong things.

Let me ask you, “What is in your heart that you feel you want to do, but fear has kept you from doing it?”  I would strongly encourage you to do a heart check by asking God if what is in your heart will please Him and not violate His Word.

If what is in your heart is in line with God’s Word and brings attention to God, I say go for it in spite of your fear.  By the way, that is called courage; when you act in spite of your fear.  Listen to what God told Joshua.

Joshua 1:7-9 (NIV)   Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

how to overcome evil

I finished writing the notes for the message Sunday and I wanted to give you a sneak peak into the sermon.  I want you to feel empowered and not overwhelmed with what is going on in the world today.  So, I will be sharing how to push back the darkness.  We are not to just sit around and do nothing about the evil in the world, we are to overcome it.  The Bible says Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil. 

1 John 3:8 (NLT)   But when people keep on sinning, it shows they belong to the Devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy these works of the Devil.

As Christians and followers of Christ, that is our mission as well.  You might ask how we do that.  The Bible gives us a very practical way.

Romans 12:21 (NIV)   Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Every time you and I choose to do good, we are driving out evil and darkness around us. 

I know now in our nation it seems to be somewhat dark, but I want you to be encouraged because the darker the world gets the brighter our light for Christ becomes. 

The world needs your faith to be seen and displayed now more than ever before.  So, don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into keeping quiet about evil or standing up for injustice.  Draw a line in the sand and stand with God for good.

Matthew 5:16 (NLT)   In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

how to stamp out evil

Yesterday we talked about pushing back the darkness at SCC and how to do it God’s way, which is described in the verse below.

Romans 12:21 (NIV)   Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

After I got home and turned on the TV I heard the horrible news that a Doctor who performs late term abortions was gunned down in the foyer of his church.

This is not the way to fight evil.  We are never to fight evil with evil because that only makes more evil in the world. 

It is sad to me that this person who pulled the trigger to stop the killing of babies was overcome by the same evil he was trying to stop, murder.

The Bible is very clear, you and I will be overcome by evil or we will overcome evil with good.  I pray that you will be known as a person who overcomes evil with good.  I pray that when our community looks at SCC they will see people who are committed to facing evil and not denying it exists.  I pray they see people who hate evil, people who are not afraid of evil, but resist it.  Most of all I pray that we be known as people who overcome evil with good.  I don’t think God needs another group of people to point out evil in the world, He needs people to stamp it out with good.

Will you find a way to do good in our community to stamp out evil by doing good? 

Acts 10:38 (NIV)   how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

someone is praying for you

As I write this entry I have just finished a time of Bible reading and prayer, which is my normal routine.  As I have been praying the last few weeks, my prayer has become passionate for the people of SCC.  I know that many of you are having battles that are very difficult and in times like that you can have the feeling that no one cares or understands.  I would like to tell every person that God cares because he keeps you in my mind to pray for you. 

I hope that knowing someone is praying for you will give you the added strength you need today to move forward and not give up on God doing the miracle you need.  I don’t know how it makes you feel to find out that someone is praying for you, but it makes me feel that God is hearing me.  Many times I have had people say to me, “I don’t know why but God has put you on my heart to pray for, but I want you to know that I am praying for you.”  That just lifts me up because it always seems to be at a time when I have been hurting on the inside and I think, “God do you really hear me?” and someone will come up and make that statement.  The power of those words help me to see the power of God.  My situation may not change, but I just have the assurance that God is listening.

So today I pray that as you read this entry, you know that I have prayed for you.   Even if you don’t attend SCC, I have prayed for all who receive this blog.  Let this be a sign that God is hearing your prayer.  Here is my prayer for you right out of God’s word. 

Romans 15:13 (NIV)   May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

What to do when bad things happen

I am on the journey of reading the Bible through this year and I am in the book of the Bible called, Job.(pronounced with a long “O,” not pronounced like the place you work)  Job is famous in the Bible for being a good man and still having to suffer for a period of time, but in the end God blessed Job with more than he ever had.

As I am reading the story of Job’s life, I am in the beginning of his suffering and I hear the most righteous man of his time do the same thing you and I do when we start to suffer.  We start asking God questions like, “Why Me?  What have I done to deserve this?  Do you hear me God?”  These are the questions most of us ask.  The one that I don’t find in Job is the question of, “Are you real, God?”

When bad things happen that are out of our control, our faith in God is always attacked.  We have those thoughts, “Does God even exist?”  Why is that?  The Bible teaches us that this happens because there is a devil and he hopes to destroy our confidence in God.  That is why God can do a miracle for you or your family that you know only God could have made happen and your faith is lifted to a new level and you go around chanting, “Go God!  Go God!”  Then a few days later you have something bad happen and you have the same doubts about God that you had before He answered the previous prayer.

John 10:10 (NIV)   The thief (the devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The Bible warns us of these spiritual attacks often.  It also warns us to be very aware of these attacks on our mind when going through a difficult time.  The Bible says when you are made weak spiritually by problems beware, because the devil will take that opportunity to try to take you out spiritually.  And, if you allow it, you will do something stupid that you will regret for the rest of your life.  This is where people turn to drinking alcohol, drugs, sex outside of marriage, stealing, or gambling their savings away.  The devil will talk you out of all your reasoning.

Here is what God says to do during those times of trouble. I’ll break it down with you as you read these verses.

1 Peter 5:6-8 (NIV)   Humble yourselves (Keep praying), therefore, under God’s mighty hand (Realize not matter what is happening, God is still God), that he may lift you up in due time (You can count on God to bring you through). Cast all your anxiety on him (tell him everything you feel and are afraid of ) because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled (Don’t do anything stupid) and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Picture this

Well, tomorrow is a big day for me.  I am taking my family to Six Flags amusement park.  I am excited especially about this trip because I am also taking the young man that I have had the privilege of mentoring this year at Stockbridge Middle School.  This young man and I talked about this trip when he was in school and I could see his eyes light up with excitement.  As we talked about the different rides, he would stop as if something was wrong and I would ask him, “Is something wrong?”  He would say, “I just got a funny feel in my stomach just thinking about riding the Goliath.”  So, I will take my Tylenol and my Dramamine and have a great time.

Do you remember what it was like to daydream like the young man I just told you about?  And your body actually starts to react?  I remember being in elementary school and daydreaming about riding motorcycles.  I could just feel the wind hitting my face as I rode the brand new Honda motorcycle model XR80 in my mind.  My eyes would water because of that wind.  It is amazing how when you start to really thing about something your body begins to react.

Here is a test to prove to you what you think about, affects your body.  Imagine going to the grocery store.   You make your way down to the produce aisle and you see a bright yellow lemon.  For whatever reason, you decide to take a big bite.  Notice your mouth has more liquid in it because what you just pictured?  It causes your brain to put your saliva glands to work.

Most of us are stressed out because we continually picture something bad happening to us or our family.  When you do, your body begins to react.  Your adrenal glands start to pump, your blood pressure goes up and puts your body in the “state of alert”  until you are filled with worry and fear.

God has a solution.  Keep your thoughts on him.  When you see your future, instead of seeing it worst case scenario, see it with God intervening.  Start thinking about how wonderful that new job is going to be that God has for you.  How your marriage is going to be with God’s help.  Most of us bring trouble on ourselves because that’s all we think about and that is called worry.  If you want your life to be better you have to think better thoughts. So here is God’s solution.

Isaiah 26:3 (Living)   He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord!

Philippians 4:8 (Living)   Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

it feels good to do good

As I shared with you in my last entry, we were going to Six Flags on Friday and we did.  I carried the kid that I have been a mentor to at Stockbridge Middle School.  I don’t think he had ever been before and it was a joy.  I rode every ride with him and prayed to God that I would not get sick.  I will tell you, it was the best trip to Six Flags my family has ever had because we all were committed to making sure Jalen had a good time.  Even my daughter Katelyn and friend Georgia made it their mission to make him feel like they were so glad he came.  It just amazes me when I put my children in an environment to help others, it brings the best out in them.

You know, I am convinced that as a family you make the worst of times the best of times, when you get focused on helping others.  It just brings the best out in everyone.  Things don’t get better with more money or more things, because things are only things and money is only money, but what you do for someone else is love and it flows back to you.  It just feels good to do good.  If you want your problems to get smaller, just start helping others who have bigger problems and yours will shrink.

Ok, I am going to let you in on the secret to a great life in two words,  Sharing and Serving.  I am challenging the people of SCC to try this over the summer and see if you don’t mark this down as the greatest summer ever.

Acts 10:38 (NIV)   God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

I know I keep bringing this verse up, but if you will notice when we ask God to help us do good for others, we get empowered by his spirit and we bring healing to those who are under the power of the devil.  Why? Because God is with us.

stop looking in the mirror

I have been reading a book called, True North, by Bill George.  It is a book about becoming an authentic leader.  One of the statements that he makes in the book about leadership is, “the role of leaders is not to get other people to follow them, but to empower others to lead.”

I think we spend way too much time in our life trying to get people to have confidence in us and not enough time getting people to have confidence in themselves.  I have experienced this a lot in my life.  I spent the first fifteen years of my adult life trying to convince myself and others I was a confident leader and they should follow me.  That is what I was thought leadership was all about….to get people to follow you.  I don’t think that way anymore.  I realize that real leadership is getting people to see the potential in themselves through the work of Christ in their life.

The Bible says that when we become Christians, all things become new. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)   Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

The only problem we all have with believing this verse is that when we look in the mirror all we see is that person who made all the mistakes of our past.  It is very hard getting passed the face that we have looked at for years in the mirror, and has represented our old sinful life, and think, “I am different.”

Here is the secret to moving forward.  Stop looking in the mirror for your identity, look in the Bible for it.  When you look in the Bible we see that our identity is not in my physical appearance anymore, but in Jesus.

You will never feel different about yourself until you start seeing your self differently and that does not happen by looking in the mirror.  It only reminds us of our past, but the Bible tells us through our relationship with Jesus we are made new and it starts in our thoughts, then moves to our attitudes and show up in our actions.

heart tattoos

I want to pick up where I left off yesterday about seeing yourself differently.  We can do this by looking into God’s Word and believing what it says about you.  Instead of looking in the mirror and remembering all the bad things you have done.  You know tattoos are the “in thing.”  I have been watching the NBA playoff and I have noticed all the athletes are covered with tattoos.  The question that I have when I see that is I wonder what inspired each picture or word tattooed on them.

I find that most people have tattoos as a way of expressing outwardly an inward emotion that they are feeling.  The only problem with that is, if the experience they are going through is bad and they get a tattoo to symbolize it, then they have given themselves a permanent, daily reminder of the horrible experience.   I remember a story John Maxwell told in one of his book on leadership about a man walking into a tattoo shop and seeing a list of tattoos you could get and one of them said this, “Born to lose.”  He asked the little Chinese man if people really had that tattooed on their body and the little Chinese man said, “Tattooed on mind, before tattooed on body”.

Too many of us have an image of failure and self defeat tattooed on our minds and hearts.  The sad thing is that it was the words of a parent or teacher or friend or even classmates or coworker that put it there.  They said something negative about us and we keep playing those words over and over in our minds, until we believe it and start living out what someone said about us.

The only way to get a tattoo removed from your body is to have it surgically removed. And the only way to get one removed from your heart is through accepting Jesus into your life and replacing the recording of what others have said about you with what God says about you through His Word.  That is why you must read the BIBLE.  By doing so, it erases the old you and imputes and new you.

Hebrews 4:12 (Msg)   God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.

speak a blessing

Yesterday I finished my sermon prep for Sunday.  We are doing a series called, “Man 2 Man.”  At the end of my notes I ask the question of every man, “If you don’t like what you are getting from your wife, then you must ask, ‘what am I giving her?’”  I think every man wants to give his wife the best, I just think most men are like me and think that women want what I as man want.  Boy did I ever get this wrong.  After almost 22 years of marriage, I am continuing to learn what makes my wife tick.

I want to tell you a mistake that most of us make with our families, male or female.  We often talk our spouse or children into being what we don’t want them to be.  Let me explain.  When we see a behavior or attitude in our husband, wife, or children we don’t like, most of us say things like this, “You’re a nag.   You’re a big mouth.  You’re a lazy butt. You’re not romantic.  You’re a spending freak.  You’re not an affectionate person.”   When we keep telling someone that you are a _____________,  then we become a prophet.  Most of the time people will become what they are constantly told they are.

So, why don’t you try something called, the power of the blessing?  Instead of beating them down with sarcasm, and by the way, how is that working for you?  Build them up with a blessing by saying, “thank you for speaking to me in a nice tone.  You are a sexy woman. You are a very romantic man.”

I am just saying if you are going to speak the future over you family, why not let it be  the one you would like to see instead of encouraging the bad behavior that is already present?

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)   The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

One question. Does your word bring life or death?  Remember you have to eat the fruit of what you encourage.

Homesickness, lice, and life

Today I am making this entry from Homer, Ga. which is about 10 miles north of Commerce, Ga.  Rhonda, Ricky and I with few teens from our church, are working church camp this week.  We have about 500 middle school students here and 12 of them are from SCC.  Rhonda and I have the responsibility to oversee all the cabin leaders that are with the kids and to take care of any discipline problems or emergencies that happen.  Boy, if today is a sign as to what the rest of the week holds we are in trouble.  So far today we have had to deal with a young man busting his knee wide open and going to the hospital.  We have had to deal with lice in a cabin and no, moms of SCC, it was not in any of your children’s rooms.  We have sent a child home for being home sick and one home for pink eye.  As I just sit down for a few minutes to write this entry I was interrupted by a call out over the radio for the nurse and a back board.  So after checking it out, we have an ambulance on the way just for precaution.  How has your week started?

The director of the camp looked at me as we were on our way to check on the girl that hurt her neck on the soccer field, and said, “It is going to be one of those weeks.” 

You know, God is in control and we must remind ourselves of that especially when bad things are happening.  The sad thing that happens when you have the “Job” kind of day (the man from the Bible, not the place you attend work) is we forget to see the hundreds of good things that are happening.  Like here, there are another 490 kids having the time of their life and spiritually being renewed.  So, I guess for you and I to not let the few bad things keep our attention, let’s remind ourselves of all the many good things that are happening now.  Like health, friends, family, and life.

The Bible reminds us of this truth in Philippians 4:8 (Living) …Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

 

Laughter…It’s not just for kids

Well, today has been much calmer than yesterday here at church camp.  It is very hot and humid, which is just a part of Georgia summers.  You know what is the best part of this camp outside of seeing all the kids have a great time?  It is watching all the adults act like kids.  It is so fun to just laugh and there is plenty to go around here.  We are all carrying around radios and you would not believe all the humorous things people say on them.  I wish you could just hear this good, clean fun.  We are all tired and we just tend to get sillier as the day goes on.  I have said this before, but it is worth repeating.  Laugh, Laugh, Laugh.  It just brings people together.  I am with some people that I have just met for the first time this week, but laughing together has built a bond that will last many days after this camp is over.

Will you plan something fun with some friends or family?  You can play a game of cards or go to a movie.  Laughing is good.  It is like milk.  It does the body good.

Proverbs 17:22 (NCV)  A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken spirit drains your strength.

 

Mexican food and prayer

This morning came earlier than normal mornings.  I would like to tell you it was because God woke me up and gave me some great spiritual truth.  No, it was Mexican Food that sounded the alarm at 4:30am with heartburn.  I don’t know how you handle those times of waking up and being tired and your mind is going, but your body is saying, “stay in the bed, you need more sleep.”  I guess my mind always wins over my body because I get up.  Sunday nights are hard for me anyway because I am thinking about the message and the conversations that I had that day.  I truly love the people of SCC and believe in every person.  When I hear of someone’s struggle it doesn’t just roll off my back. No, I think about them for days and pray that God would help them.  Like last week, a man who was very close to his stepfather asked me tearfully to pray for him because his stepfather was dying and his wife was having some tests.  He was broken on the inside.  I could feel his pain and fear of wondering what the next few days or weeks would hold.

People matter to me because people matter to God.  So, this morning Mexican may have awakened me up, but being concerned for my children and the people of SCC kept me up praying, asking God to help them.  Prayer is always the best thing to do when you can’t sleep.  It soothes the spirit and releases the power of heaven to do what only God can do.  If you really want to share someone’s burden the way to do it is through prayer and care.  Ask God to do what you can’t to help that person in need and then do what you can to help.  That is carrying one another’s burdens.

 

Galatians 6:2 (NIV)   Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

for real?

Last Friday after I left youth camp I had a chance to get together with a man who I met when I was the youth pastor in Toccoa, GA.  This man and his wife were friends to me and Rhonda when we really need one.  He is 20 years older than me, but some how we hit it off way back then and have remained friends even though we may go years without talking.  His wife passed away a few months ago and it brought us back together.  One thing I have always loved about Bob is his deep thinking, yet his simple views of life and his very sincere heart.

We met Friday at a golf course and played 18 holes that afternoon, then went to Zaxby’s for dinner.  While we were sitting there, we began to share what God was doing deep in our lives.  We shared our trials, past mistakes, and all the lessons we had learned from the experiences we’d had.  While we were talking the phrase came up about being authentic. We talked about how the world is so hungry for people to be real.  At that point in our conversation, my friend Bob said something that really was true.

He said he had been around a lot of people in his life and in his line of work. Many were rich and many were poor, but the one thing both of these people had in common was the fact that they knew who they were and didn’t try to put on masks.  They were authentic.  He said it is the people that want others to think that they are something they are not, that lack authenticity.  It is the poor and the rich who have a lot in common, not the person trying to act like they are one or the other.

As I thought about what he said I began to think how I had grown up all my life with people who had tried to get others to think they had more than they really did have.  I think this is part of the financial crisis in our country.  Most people have lived off credit to act like they were wealthy by acquiring things.  I have seen this way too much in the church where people come to church and act like everything is just fine and be on the edge of divorce.  I think it all comes back to that word, PRIDE.  No wonder God’s Word says, “Pride comes before a fall.”  Let me say this, being authentic doesn’t mean you are rebellious, it means you admit your faults and short comings and get help.  Help always starts with God and most of the time he uses a person to bring it.  Remember, God gives grace or his power to the humble, the authentic.

James 4:6 (NIV)  ”God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

plastic people

I want to continue on the thought I had yesterday about being authentic.  After writing  yesterday’s post, I continued to think about a phrase Bob shared with me.  “Plastic People.”  He shared with me that in the sixties with the hippy movement, the phrase plastic people was used to describe people who were fake or not authentic.

That is what we have become, “Plastic People” in its truest sense.  If you don’t think that is true, look in your wallet.  What do you find? Plastic.  Most of the plastic allows people to live a life of hypocrisy or a lie.  That plastic in the form of a credit card says I am wealthier than I really am.  I am more together than I really am.  I can make people like me.  I am more in control than I really am.  That last statement is probably the most deceiving of all. My plastic doesn’t put me in control.  That is a lie. The real bill comes due.  That is what has happened to our country financially. The bill has come due.

The only problem with plastic is that it is only a substitute for something real and when the heat gets on plastic, it melts.  God want us to be people who are authentic and admit our faults and failures.  We should also say to ourselves, “I am not in control of everything only God is.”  I am learning to be patient and trust God to provide for me whatever I need.  I never want my master to be a card.  I want my master to be my faith in God.

The Bible compares our faith in God to gold, not plastic because the more gold is heated the more pure or authentic it becomes.  Here is the challenge you and I face here in the real world.  Will I be a plastic person and have my trust in Master Card or will I be a person who is authentic and have my trust in my Master, the Lord God.  It is our choice. What will it be?

Dave Ramsey’s Program to Financial Peace is a great place to start learning how to change masters.

1 Peter 1:7 (KJV)   That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Man’s greatest ally

I finished my notes for Sunday’s message and the title is, “Man’s Greatest Ally.”  I have come to the conclusion that outside of God’s spirit living in us, our greatest ally is the people closest to us.  It is the people that are closest to us that shape who we are.  The Bible is very clear about this.

1 Cor. 15:33 (NIV)   Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

We are to have friends that are sinners because you don’t win them to Christ by being their enemies.  But, I would give this warning; choose your closest friends wisely because you will be influenced by them.  You need a good friend that you can share the real you with. By real you I mean your struggles and your victories. 

When people come in to see me most of the time, they just need to get something off their chest.  They just need to tell someone what is going on inside them.  I think how sad that this person had to carry the load so long because they didn’t have a close friend to share with.

It all goes back to what the Bible says in James. This verse just keeps coming alive to me as I have learned it’s power and benefited from it’s wisdom.

James 5:16 (NIV)   Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Most of us just need someone to talk to on a deeper level and when we do we find that kind of relationship brings healing to our hearts and minds.  I can tell you this last year I have been building a relationship with a man that I respect and can tell you it takes a while to get to the point of total transparency.

This is what church is all about. Building relationships and serving together. A good place for you to find a close friend is in a church small group.  If you will commit to going and not stop, you will find someone who you can build a close relationship with and enjoy a Godly Ally.

come on over

Yesterday I talk about the power of accountability and the need for everyone to insure what is important to them.  One of the ways to do this is by men by having an accountability partner.  If you were not here you can go here and listen to the message.  I also talked about how small groups were so important in finding friends.  That is what makes small groups so unique.

Last night we had our small group meeting and part of our meeting is watching a video and answering a few discussion questions together.  The author of the small group study we are using shared a story about how he was invited to be a part of a movie and he had to do his own stunts.   One of those stunts meant jumping through a high rise building window.  He shared the window was too strong to break by just running into it.  He had to trust someone to blow up the window at the same time he ran through it.  He said it was very difficult to trust the guy who was blowing the window up that he would get the timing just right.  It was a battle of faith in the set team and fear they could not do what needed to be done at the time it was needed.

So our group talked about having faith when all you see is a wall in front of you that is covered with fear.  Our question was, “What do you do?”  To be honest with you, I have always fought fear with fear.  It has always been the fear of what would happen if I did nothing that has driven me to act many times.  Which I would not recommend because fear only produces more fear and you can’t have any peace making every major decision with fear.  It may get you so far, but eventually you will come to an impasse and fear will lead you every direction but the right one.

I shared my struggle of handling fear with fear and some one in our group gave the greatest advice.  He said whenever you have something that you are afraid to face you, should always believe that there is something good on the other side.  Would that change everything of we could just trust that what is best for me is on the other side of that wall of fear?  I challenge you to walk with me in this new confidence in God and attack your fear with the expectation of good waiting on you.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)   And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

So go get that check up from the doctor expecting something good, go have the talk with the person you need to talk to and expect something good, go ahead and sign up for the financial peace class in August.  Believe that wall of fear is blocking you from the goodness of God.  If we can just quiet our heart, I know we will hear a small voice of God on the inside of us saying, “come on over.”

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)   ”Be still, and know that I am God;

i’m ticked

As I write this post I have just had my devotion and I found myself telling God how much I hate sin.  I have just seen lately the damage it does to people’s lives one after another.  I am beginning to see more and more what Paul in the Bible wrote when he said the product that sin produces is death.

Romans 6:23 (NIV)   For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I think we forget that God, in his word, put boundaries so we will not hurt ourselves and the people around us through sin.  Sin is doing those things that God tells us not to do in his word.  I have just been with one family after another the last few weeks and seen the evidence of the effects of sin’s destructive power.  You know, the sad thing about sin is that good people start to accept it the more common it becomes even though the results are still the same… death.  It’s death to a marriage when the husband or wife cheats, it’s death to a child who has been abused, it is death to relationships when lies are told.  It is death when we trust money over God.  It reminds me of the statement our children make when they want to do something that we as parents don’t want them to do.  It is this, “Well Jorden’s parents let him do it, or Lisa’s parents let her do it.”  To which I reply, “Too bad I am your dad and today that may make you sad, but one day you will be glad!”

One thing I have learned is that the joy’s of sin only lasts a short time, but the price we pay for that short time lasts a lifetime in the form of regret and shame.  LET ME BE VERY CLEAR, “YOUR SIN DOESN’T JUST HURT YOU IT AFFECTS THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!”  Children are dying because of the sins of parents.  The hurt and pain lives a lifetime in them.  There is a likely possibility that they themselves will repeat the sins of their parents.

I have heard many people at their time of death say how many things they regret because of the sin they were involved in and they or their children paid the price.  I have never heard a person at their time of death say, I regret living a godly clean life and I regret the blessing that my godly life left over my children.”

God offered to you and me forgiveness no matter where we are in life.  I encourage you to take this offer today. 

1 John 1:9 (CEV)   But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.

fired up

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”— Ferdinand Foch:  Commander in Chief of Allied armies during WWI.

I read that quote this morning and I 100% agree.  If you believe that is true let me ask you very important question, “What are you fired up about?”  I think we live in a world to where we try to stay in this peaceful state of no problems.  That we somehow think the goal of life is to be calm, cool and don’t make any waves.  If you think like then your life is going to be empty and disappointing.  There is no way you can be responsible for keeping the peace. 

The bible never tells us to keep the peace.  Jesus says blessed are the peacemakers. 

Matthew 5:9 (NIV)   Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”

Sometimes the only way to be a peacemaker is to make some waves or get fired up about some injustice in the world and do something about it.

Matthew 10:34 (NIV)  Jesus said “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.

I know most of us think of people who get fired up about stupid things are always ready for a fight.  That is not what I am talking about. Nothing good comes from a HOT HEAD.  Get fired up about something good… enough to share it with other people.

One way to find something to get fired up about is to look into your own life story and find out what it was that helped you become a better person or what mistake you made that you would like to keep every person in the world from making.  That’s what you get fired up about and take action even if it is only helping one person at a time.

You see, I am fired up about sharing Jesus Christ with as many people possible because it is through someone else being fired up about him that introduced me to him. I began a personal relationship with him and his family, the church and it altered my life from a life of destruction.  I am fired up about Jesus the Christ because he changed my life and I want every person in the world to have the same opportunity I had.  So you can’t shut a person up who is fired up.  You set yourself on fire with passion and people will watch you burn and the spark will set them on fire as well and before long you have affected a lot of people for God.

Before football games at my high school the cheerleaders would chant this cheer at the crowd “FIRE IT UP, FIRE IT UP, FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP FIRE IT UP!”

Get fired up about something that God or his people have done for you and do it for others.

tips for stress

Today I am in one of those, “get outside moods.”  I have been studying the last few days for our new series that will be called, “The Family Channel” and Sunday’s message as well.  Needless to say, I am ready to get out of the office and talk with some people.  I thought I would share a tip with you to help you unload a day or days of stress.

Here is a rule of thumb, if you work mentally all day when you get home, try to do something physical and if you work with your hands all day, when you get home, try to do something mental like read a book.  I can’t tell you how much this helps me unwind.

I guess that is why I like the spring and summer months so much because I like mowing my lawn and playing games outside with my kids.  It gives me that disconnect that I need to be better at my work.  It just clears my head.  I know golf seems so stupid to many people and if you think about it, it is.   But for me, I look forward once a week if possible, to playing that game so much.   It takes my mind off of everything else and for three to four hours I am Tiger Woods or at least for one shot out of the whole round.

Most people think they need a long vacation to get recharged.  They are nice, but actually God says you can be recharged in one day and it is called the Sabbath.  To be recharged is so important that God made it one of the BIG TEN of the Ten Commandments.

You know what I have found is that when I clear my mind, my worship to God is more pure.

“Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you.”  Deuteronomy 5:12 (NIV)

THE LORD KNOWS THE BEST PATH

This week as Pastor Jeff is on vacation, enjoy posts from his friends….

Guest Blogger – Pastor Kevin Harris, Lawrenceville Church of God

Psalm 32:8-11:
The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!

Wow! This poured over me with reassurance that God is looking out for me and has a plan already prepared. My path is set, I simply must follow His leading.

The answer is not decreasing our skill.  God wants us to be excellent, and dumbing down our approach to promotion, programming, or planning would dishonor Him and limit our reach. God would never command you to decrease your competency.

Therefore, we must put ourselves in a place of increased challenge.

When you put yourself in a state of increased demand, it will force increased dependency on God.
And then He’ll have you right where He wants you…until the next time you starting feeling like you’ve got this under control.
Just when you think that “you’re in over you’re head”, that is when God proves Himself to you.

You know that place where you can’t seem to find the answers for where to turn next. It’s like driving and the signal is lost on our spiritual GPS. Go here? Turn there?

I AM THERE!

And I am comforted because I am not lost, but I am dependent on His leading.

why do bad things happen….

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

I don’t know why some things happen to certain people.  In the past two weeks, I have heard personally some terrible situations from church family, some from my very close friends, and even in my own family.  These things just seem way unfair.

I don’t know why certain things happen to people that are following God with all their heart.  But, I do know that I am not God and for him to even explain to me these things, if I were to warrant an explanation, would still not help me to understand because of His infinite wisdom and my very small mind.  Nevertheless, I ponder.

Sunday I get the privilege of speaking in the Sunday services.  We are in the second week of a series called, “You Asked For It.”  We took a poll back in the spring and asked the congregation, if you could ask God one question, what would it be?  The question I will be tackling is, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” 

I am praying this Sunday brings light to some situations.  For I know that trust in a God I cannot see, for situations I cannot understand, will build my faith to a level that will allow me to do things I could never have imagined unless I had been tested.  We don’t grow through pleasure….we grow through pain. 

Psalm 59:16  But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

Don’t miss the rest of this series:

July 19 – What happens after I die?

July 26 – What is God’s Will for my Life?

You may have missed the last two posts due to an email glitch.  Logon to www.jeffdaws.wordpress.com to catch up.

The Deadliest Catch

Guest Blogger: Diane Carden

Recently I travelled to Seattle to visit my husband, Robbie, while he was working there for Delta. We did some sightseeing and visited The Locks. The Locks, located in Ballard, provide a link for boats between the saltwater of the Puget Sound and the fresh water of the Ship Canal connecting to Lake Union and Lake Washington. This is also where salmon transfer themselves from fresh water to saltwater when they swim upstream. We had lunch at The Lockspot and Robbie was excited to tell me that he and his Delta buddies met Sig Hansen the Captain of the Northwestern from The Discovery Channel’s Emmy award winning, “The Deadliest Catch.”

Apparently, The Lockspot is a favorite haunt for the crews of The Deadliest Catch and you will sometimes see them in the restaurant on the show. Now I have watched the show and it is amazing the amount of intense danger they experience on the high seas while bringing in huge amounts of crabs. They only fish 3 months out of 12 and navigate many obstacles to bring in their catch and earn their money.

In some ways our lives are the same. We get hit with the unpredictable, navigating incredible storms and overcoming obstacles in order to provide for our families and survive in the process. When Robbie and I lived in the Florida Keys we went lobster catching…not dangerous at all! In fact, lobsters are so easy to catch it is ridiculous. Lobsters swim backwards. You have a wooden pole in your left hand and a net in your right hand. You poke the pole in front of the lobster and it swims backwards into your net.

Sometimes the enemy traps us just as easy. While we are navigating the raging seas and trying to survive, he is sending us distractions like sinful diversions, habits to keep us bound, secret relationships and opportunities to get something for nothing.

Galatians 6: 7-8 says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the spirit will reap eternal life.”

When we are stressed and not spiritually alert we can easily fall into a trap that renders regret. Regret is an awful feeling to endure. Therein is the, “deadliest catch!” Satan lures us into something that wreaks havoc on our lives and destroys us. The good news is God has our back. God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things and at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8. It is God who captains our everyday voyage and sends us into the horizon of His will.

Neighborhood Watch

Guest Blogger:  Diane Carden

Do you ever have problems with your neighbors? Some folks know all their neighbors and some folks just kinda keep to themselves. At my house, we just kinda keep to ourselves. Recently we were surprised when the police showed up at our house because the neighbor had called them. Our neighbor was angry because our dog had gotten out. Our dog had snuck out of the garage when we were bringing groceries in. The dog was out all of five minutes. Regardless, our neighbor was angry.

The police listened to our side and left to go speak to the neighbor. They came back and said, “He’s a real jerk. He also called animal control and they will be here any minute.” We were confounded as to why the guy didn’t just come over and talk to us. It would be easy to be angry about this situation. 

Titus 3:1-2 says, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do what is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility to all men.”

So animal control showed up and went to talk to the neighbor. Come to find out he is a police officer and demanded that we receive a citation which would cause us to have to go to court. Animal control was flexible. They had never received a complaint about our dog before. But it did not matter. They had to do it.

Later, I walked over to talk to the neighbor alone. I told him I am not here to get out of the citation. I am here to apologize for your inconvenience of our dog bothering you. Also I just wanted to meet you so you know what kind of people we are. They were surprised I came over and were willing to talk. The short of it is they dropped the charges, we are on speaking terms, and more familiar with each other as neighbors.

All too often we are quick tempered and concerned with only ourselves and our own comfort. What does God require of us? The answer lies in Micah 6:8.

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Those are great directions for any neighborhood watch.

hijacked blog

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

Since Pastor Jeff is out of town, I am hijacking his blog to pursue my own agenda….well, at least to tell you about some great things in children’s ministry.  I got this letter from one of our elementary students.  I have to admit it was a project they were working on in the Academy this summer, but nevertheless very touching.  It says:

Dear Ms. Chesnee

Thank you for teaching other people about God.  Thank you for having fun with us when we come to church.  Thank you for telling us stories from the Bible.  Thank you for listening to us when we talk.

Love,  Nathaniel

I love that.

Psalm 127:3  Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

 

ministry is messy

Guest Blogger:  Ricky Mosel

Sometimes in life we sit back for a moment and analyze where we are and where we came from. If you are involved in a ministry at a church on any level, this usually means that you reflect on why you stay involved in said ministry. You can’t help it. That’s what people in ministry do. Why? Because ministry is messy! It’s difficult. It always has been and always will be.

Last week as I was riding down the highway in South Carolina I begin to ponder on this very subject. I was on vacation and enjoying the time of a long needed rest. I was enjoying it so much that I begin to wonder: “Why can’t it be this way all the time?” Ever been there before? I thought so. Anyways, like anyone in this position; I begin to think about all the things I don’t like about being involved in ministry. The problems people struggle with on a daily basis, most of which if you get involved in; you end up being the bad guy (never fun). All the deadlines, all the emotions, all the pains and hurts and struggles, all the people wanting your attention all the time; and getting very upset or angry if they don’t get it. All the times you have to sacrifice or go the extra mile, with no one to notice except you… and maybe your spouse (I said maybe). All the extra hours that you don’t get to count toward overtime at work. All the expectations people put on you, feeling like people are waiting for you to fail. The whole enchilada man! (ok, you get the picture. I’ll move on).

It can become quite overwhelming. You feel guilty because you know you shouldn’t feel this way. God’s not happy with you feeling this way about serving Him; so you should be ashamed. This was me, all in a span of about five minutes; by myself (the only one awake at least)

After returning home and getting back into routine, those thoughts dissipate and you move on. That’s when God likes to show up and blindside you. He allows you to sit in the doctor’s office with your kids and out of the blue your 10 year-old daughter says: “Daddy, camp was cool last week. I had so much fun. I went down during an altar call and ask Jesus into my heart for the first time. I’m so glad I did. It’s the best thing I ever did.” And then your 4 year-old son says: “I got saved to, at my Pepa’s. My sister talked to me about Jesus and helped me pray and ask him into my heart.”

That’s when it hits you like a ton of bricks. Ministry IS messy! And it’s supposed to be! This is why we sacrifice and go the extra mile. There are people that are moving through life lost in a routine and there life is messy. They need the life-altering power of Jesus! And being part of the process can be one of the most rewarding things we do!

Just a reminder to whoever needs reassuring, God always comes through! No matter if your issue is physical, mental, emotional, or especially spiritual. You can always count on him to deliver! Even in a messy ministry.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Lesson from a Nunn…

While I was in Niagara Falls, NY I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels while I was waiting on Rhonda to get ready to go to dinner.  I came across a Nunn teaching, so out of curiosity I listened because I had never heard a Nunn teach.  She was very funny and enjoyable to listen to and also very wise.  I would like to share two things she shared in that thirty minutes that I was tuned in. I will share one today and the other tomorrow, the Lord willing. 

She shared something so deep I don’t know if we all can understand it, so will you take a deep breath in and blow it out to get ready for this.  Are you ready?  Here it is “God is common sense.”  Wow, Wow and Wow.  She said for the most part things that are common sense are God’s ways.  She said the devil is the one who constantly tries to get people to do the opposite of common sense.  

I was standing up above Niagara Falls about 500 yards high. Common sense said “If I try to cross the river, I would be swept over the falls to my death”.  Why is it with sin that we can’t see it that clearly because it really is common sense.  If I cheat on my wife, my family dies a slow death.  Common sense tells me that if I steel and lie that I have to keep lying to cover the previous lies.  So common sense says again “confess your sin so you won’t have to live a life that is a lie”.  

Common sense even answers the big moral issue of our day like abortion.  Should we kill a baby in the name of convenience, common sense says no.  Should I give my body to another person sexually that I am not married to and have to remember the act the rest of my life, common sense says no.  Even in the area of same sex relationships, common sense speaks up again and says you were not created for that. 

You know, the greatest thing the devil does is to try and get us to do what we know is wrong or as some would say “go against common sense”.  He does this because his ultimate goal for every person is death and every time he gets you to go against “common sense” or as the bible calls it “sin”, something in you dies your self respect, your self worth, and your common sense.   So you must have a relationship with Jesus to keep a good helping of common sense for life and not death. 

John 10:10 (NIV)   The thief (the devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Has anyone seen that Nunn with my 2nd life lesson point?

July 23, 2009

Before I begin to share today, I wanted to remind everyone that this Sunday is the deadline to bring school supplies for our School House Rock Outreach Project. We still need more writing paper, child size scissors and construction paper. Thank you for supporting teachers and children at Austin Rd. Elementary!

Well I told you on Tuesday’s post that I was going to tell you another lesson that I learn from the Nunn, but to be honest with you I can’t remember what the second thing I was thinking about was. I didn’t write down what I was thinking, so it is gone. If the thought returns I will share i… and no I am not OLD, I just have a very good forgetter.

I know there’s a lot of debate going on about government controlling health care on the news and there are many opinions about it. So I thought I would share with you my thoughts for what they are worth. I don’t have a political opinion, I have a practical one. The one positive thing this has done is started conversation over a big problem… and it is health care in our county and it’s cost. I think this is a big issue and we have to solve it the right way and the only way to do that is by having conversations about it.

I don’t think having a government take over is the answer. For one reason it never helps the poor. Last week while on vacation, we drove to Cleveland, Ohio to have a picnic on the shore of Lake Erie. I needed gas so I pulled off the interstate and ended up in the projects or government funded neighborhood. So many people had looks of hopelessness and rejection. It seems everything the government “runs” is not good… outside of the army.

Every time you take a person’s need to work and earn away from them, you rob them of their will. You destroy their life because you tell them, if they will live here we will provide everything for you. It kills the human spirit.

A life lesson I have had to learn as a parent and as a pastor is that you can’t do life for people. You must let them fail and not bail them out but offer a way out..

That’s why God gave the church to the world, it is to restore the human spirit by introducing them to God through his son, Jesus. The bible tells us over and over to help the poor, we are instructed not to give a hand out but a hand up. I think it starts by teaching people this one lesson of Lordship that Jesus said in  Matthew 6:24 (NIV) “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

You cannot serve both God and Money. We are instructed by God to listen to him and tell money what to do, but the problem is our culture is listening to money (money talks) and trying to tell God what to do.

Leadership Secrets

Yesterday I was paid one of the greatest compliments I have ever been given.  Someone said, “You were gone two weeks and we didn’t even miss you.”  Now that may not sound like a great compliment to you, but it is to a leader.  In other words, this person was saying, “We missed you, but nothing was lacking in our church services.”

She said, “I have been to churches and when the pastor wasn’t there, the people didn’t show up and the service was a train wreck, but that was not the case when you and Rhonda were gone.”  The band was great and the young lady leading the music was great.  She paused and said, “What a great speaker Chesnee is and Ricky was dynamic with his message.  You have two people who can step up.  You are blessed.”   I replied, “I know. They have been with me for years and are people that have helped us mold SCC to be the authentic, loving church we are.  It is a called unity in our staff and in our church that it keeps moving in one direction no matter who is speaking.”

She was just taken aback by how smooth things moved every week we were gone. She didn’t know that I have nothing to do with that.  Every week Pam Salter and Doug House make the services run smoothly.  “The drama was off the chart,” one person said.  Diane Carden does such a passionate job with our Drama team. 

Real leadership is getting people to see their God given talent and encouraging them to use it for the greater good of mankind and building up God’s people.

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.”

Philippians 1:27

Upcoming posts:

Thy will be done in heaven, my will be done on earth
Humility is a lesson that life teaches all of us
Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

God’s Will, my struggle

You know, every once in a while I say something in a sermon I have not heard put a certain way and when it comes out, I know that was God speaking.  This Sunday was one of those times.  I said something that I have been dwelling on for awhile and I know it was a God statement for me if not for anyone else.  It was this,  “Many times I pray God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven, but I live the opposite of my prayer.  I live like God’s will be done in heaven and my will be done on earth.”

This one of my greatest struggles and I am sure I am not by myself on this one.  Many times I have a situation come up and I think that God should think like me.  It seems like a logical response that I have planned in my heart.

That is when God has to remind me that his thinking is eternal and my think is just that… my thinking.  God reminds of this in His Word.

Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)   ”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

So I don’t know about you, but that is why I have to read the Bible daily.  Because the logical part of me wants to take over God’s place.  So, on a daily basis and set planned place and time, I have to read God’s will and ask him to help me line up with Him or my will take over.

I want God’s will done in heaven and on earth in my life, my marriage, my children’s lives, my church family, my community, my country and his world.

My logic has gotten me into too many messes over the years, so I want to trust His will over my logic every day of my life.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

 

Upcoming posts:

Humility is a lesson that life teaches all of us
Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

humility

One of life’s lessons that I think all of us have to learn is humility.  The Bible is very clear about this. God speaks over and over again about how he gives his power to the humble. He even opposes the proud, which is the opposite of humility.

James 4:6 (NIV)   ”God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

I think that there are not many people who would say that they are prideful.  Most people would say to some degree they are humble.  Again I find that what most people say about themselves in this area and what they live out in there life don’t match up.  It is not intentional to be prideful, it just sneaks up on us.

You know what I think the greatest form of pride is that we all deal with is, not be willing to let anyone see our weakness.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to hide our weakness because we are taught to be strong and self sufficient.  If you show weakness, people will not accept you or your spouse will not respect you, your children will not follow you.  That just is not right.

Life will hand every person a situation at sometime in your life that you will be utterly helpless.  It may be a relational situation, family situation, financial situation or health situation.

It is at this moment that your life will be defined.  You will either live in denial or you will ask God and others for help.  This is the point to where God becomes real to most people.  This is where the saying comes from that, “you don’t know God’s all you need until God’s all you got.”

Now you can see why God hates pride, it robs Him of a relationship with you and others.  I encourage you to start walking down that road of humility today because it feels so good not have the pressure to be a perfect person with all the answers.  It also feels great to admit I not so good at that, will you help me?  That, my friends, is being humble.

Upcoming post:

Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

talk it out…don’t act it out

As I write this post I am in the middle of writing the notes for Sunday message on how to communicate with our family especially with our children.  I am very excited about this series because it will hit real family issues like communication, blending families, marriage, being a God centered family and dealing with our parent’s mistakes.

I would like to share with you about anger.  Anger is one emotion that we all have to deal with and how we handle it will directly affect our family and those closest to us.  As a matter of fact, as I am writing this, my mind goes back to my childhood and I can remember people in my family who were a screamers.  The greater the anger, the louder they could get.

I heard a statement the other day about anger that I think we all could learn from.  Anger is to be talked about and not acted out! You don’t swallow anger and treat your family bad because you are mad to get people to ask what’s wrong with you.  Have you ever been around these kind of people and they usually are known to be the most soft spoken.  The second type I can identify with is the screamer or the direct talk that is pointed at someone to get them to tell me they were wrong and should have never done what they did.

I have found that when anger is talked out instead of acted out, it comes in the form of having a hard conversation, not a one sided retaliation.  Heed the warning.  If you don’t talk out your anger, it will come out in an action when you least expect it.   Rhonda and I have learned through the years that just letting it out is not always good, but talking it out is.

God tells us this in his word.

Ephesians 4:26 (Living) If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry–get over it quickly;

don’t blink

Have you ever heard that time flies when you are having fun?  That is true, but time also flies no matter what.  Today is the first day of school and my son is entering his first year as a senior in high school and my daughter starts her first day of eighth grade.  Rhonda and I were talking it this morning and she said, “I don’t which one I am the saddest about, knowing it our son’s last year of high school or our daughter’s last year of middle school.”

It is amazing how looking ahead into the future seems like forever and looking behind seems like yesterday.  The bible tells us life is so brief.

James 4:14 (NIV)   Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

That sounds like a man that is very depressed, but it is actually meant to be a statement that motivates us to not take life for granted.  I shared this yesterday and I would like to say it on this post.  Your life will be defined by the little things you do day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.

So, the question I have to ask myself is, is what I am doing day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.  How do I want to end up financially, physically, relationally and most importantly spiritually?

If you find yourself going south in any one of these areas, why not make the little changes today and start taking baby steps every day, north.  In just no time at all, you will be were you want to go.

Here are a few baby steps you may consider if you would like to make a change:

Financially, take a the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class on Sunday night or Wednesday at SCC.
Relationally, start by speaking kinder, uplifting words to those around you.
Physically, start by taking a 15 minute walk in the morning or evening
Spiritually, start by reading God’s word ten minutes a day.

Go ahead and go for it, take the baby steps to a new life.

on purpose

I am writing this post in the afternoon.   I have just met with our staff as we talked about many things that will help us to continue being effective for God’s kingdom.  One of the things that we are doing again is reading a book by Rick Warren called, The Purpose Driven Church.  I shared something with them that I would like to share with you today about this book.  As I began to reread it I got a little emotional.

In 1999 I had been the pastor of this Church for four years and we had relocated it from Forest Park, GA to Rex, GA.  Our church in those four years had grown form 80 people to 180.  The only problem was that being the traditional church that we were, not a lot of people came to Christ.  Yet, we had a lot of people who came from other churches and brought all their options and ideas with them.  Let me tell you, you will go crazy trying to be everything to everybody.  That is exactly what I was trying to do.  I never will forget when we were trying to buy more property to build a new church and all the issues that came along with that.  Trying to keep people happy was more than I could handle. 

So, one summer Monday morning I got up to pray and to read my bible at 6 am which was the same time I always did.  Except that morning as I opened my mouth to pray I could not believe the words I was saying to God.  I said, “God today I am quitting as a pastor.  I am going to take my family back to our home town and live there and be a great church member because I am not quitting as a Christian, I am just not going to be a pastor anymore.  I don’t want to waste my life.”  Here is the option I gave God, “Unless you show me something today, I am done wrestling with church members.”

You have to get the picture.  I was weeping and not being arrogant.  At that moment of my being honest with God, I can tell you in my mind I saw the cover of the Purpose Driven Church book and heard a still small voice that said this is what I want you to do.  I want you to lead a church that will reach lost people.  The crazy thing is I had read that book in 1995 when it came out, but put it on the shelf and had not thought about again.

For the last ten years, I have tried my very best to lead our church to become a Purpose Driven Church.  Today, as I write this post and I looked at our attendance for this past Sunday, it was 457.  I say praise God.  The road to becoming what God has called our church to be has not been easy at all, but it has been very rewarding because I have seen God save so many people and connect them to this church family.  I have seen many grow in the likeness of Christ.  Many have founded their God given gifts and have begun to serve our church family.  Many are sharing their experience with Christ with others and they also have decided to follow Him.  So, when I open this book and begin to read, I realized how faithful God had been to keep his promise.

 1 Corinthians 1:9 (Msg)   God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.

just ask for it

I am reading the Bible through this year and I try to use a different translation each year I do this.  I started making it my goal to to do that every other year.  This is my third time reading it through in six years.  This year I am reading the Message Bible.  I love the wording.  This morning I was in Proverbs and came across these verses that are characteristics of Wisdom.  Remember wisdom is asking God what he would have you do in every situation of your life and acting on his guidance.

Proverbs 8:12-21 (Msg)  

“I am Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity;
Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street.
13The Fear-of-God means hating Evil, whose ways I hate with a passion—
pride and arrogance and crooked talk.
14Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics; I am both Insight and the
Virtue to live it out.
15 With my help, leaders rule, and lawmakers legislate fairly;
16 With my help, governors govern, along with all in legitimate authority.
17 I love those who love me; those who look for me find me.
18 Wealth and Glory accompany me—also substantial Honor and a Good Name.
19 My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary;
the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.
20 You can find me on Righteous Road—that’s where I walk—
at the intersection of Justice Avenue,
21 Handing out life to those who love me,
filling their arms with life—armloads of life!

I don’t know about you but I want wisdom guiding me on my every step because of the promised benefits.   The Bible says the way we get this kind of wisdom it to ask God for it.  He is the only real source of wisdom.  Remember this, there are a lot of people who give what seems to be good advice, and the truth of the matter is, they are just guessing.  God has real wisdom, which is proven principles that work for every situation in your life.

James 1:5 (NIV)   If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

punishment vs. discipline

I have been reading a book called, “Helping Children Survive Divorce” by Dr. Archibald Hart.  He is a Christian psychologist.  I read this to help me understand more of how to help people who are blending families,  Iwill be sharing a message about making a blended family work on Sunday.

In this book, I a came across something that was very interesting about how children are to be controlled.  If you are a blended family, the biological parent should always be the one who disciplines the child.  That was not a headliner, but what he said about the difference in punishment and discipline was very informative to me as a parent. 

This is what he said punishment is.  “Hurting back” for the hurts experienced by the parents.  Discipline is a “teaching activity,” designed to help children learn appropriate behavior.

            Punishment                                                     Discipline

Always reacts in anger                                     Always reacts with calmness
Always seeks to retaliate                                 Always seeks to help
Reacts out of impatience                                 Is always patients
Is motivated by revenge                                 Is motivated by love

I must confess to you as I look at that list, punishment was the way I leaned to for results with my children when they were younger.  My son, who is the oldest, really experienced it because that is all I knew.  My parents punished me and never disciplined.  So, I have had to learn with God’s help, and I hope if you read this and find yourself leaning more toward punishment than discipline,  you will change.  I am not against spanking a child, but I have learned it should be the last resort and not the first reaction.

God doesn’t punish us, He disciplines us.  He punished our sin through the cross of Jesus, but because He is our Heavenly Father, He will discipline us. Thank God for the difference or you and I would not be here.

Job 5:17 (NIV)   ”Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

Rev. 3:19 (NIV)    Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

 

disciplining step children

As I begin this post I want to say what a great job our worship team did yesterday leading us into worship, it was AWESOME.  I would like to follow up in this post on a very sore spot I talked about in the message yesterday.  It is on the part about stepparents disciplining their step child.  I had a few people after the service ask me to give a little more information on this topic.  So, today I would like to give you the perspective of a Christian Child psychologist Dr. Archibald Hart from his book, Helping Children Survive Divorce.

“A serious error made by many stepparents is that they take on too much responsibility for disciplining the other children.  An important principle to remember is: Each natural parent  should take primary responsibility for disciplining his or her own children.

Why do I say this?  Very simply, because if you don’t, you violate the child’s sense of justice.  Deep down, children accept that the right to discipline belongs to the natural parents.  They resent it when that right is exercised by a stepparent, no matter how justified the discipline.

It’s just a fact of human behavior.  Many stepparents become very upset about this.  They can see all the flaws in the stepchild (they often don’t see the same faults in their own children) and believe they know exactly how to deal with the brat.  Their very attitude disqualifies them from being fair.  Some mothers gladly surrender responsibility for discipline to the new partner, without realizing just how much resentment this causes.

I know there are exceptions, but they are few and far between.  Severe and dangerous behaviors must be dealt with, and it really doesn’t matter who does the disciplining here.  Get the police to do it, if necessary.  But everyday problems of conflict and adjustment are best handled by the natural parents and should include the absent natural parent whenever possible.  As a stepparent, you may finally earn the right and respect to be the one who disciplines, but at the beginning play it safe, support your spouse, and take a back seat.”

Let me tell you from a personal perspective that the stepparent is viewed as the reason why the child’s natural parents are not together.  The child will dream about their parents being back together no matter how bad things may have been and the step parent is viewed as the reason there parents cannot be together.  I can tell you when I was a child I would lay in bed at night and think how great it would be for my mom and dad to be together.  So, there is a natural resentment that happens no matter how good of a stepparent you are.

Galatians 6:9 (Living)   And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.

i saw love yesterday

Yesterday evening I had the privilege to ride to the hospital with Robert Frisone and make a visit to see one of the men that I have admired for 14 years, Harold Adams.  I always enjoy being with Robert.  God bless him because he always drops what he is doing when I call at the last minute to help me or accompany me. 

We visited Harold Adams, a man who I owe so much to.  He was one of the people who kept this church going in it’s earliest years.  His Son helped the church buy the house that would be converted to a church over 35 years ago.  I remember the day I came and interviewed with the church to see if they would like me to be their pastor.  Several men were in the room that day and I never will forget what Harold said to me.  He said, “Our calling is about two things, loving people and seeing souls saved!”

If you had the privilege to have this great, humble man shake your hand or pray for you, you can just feel the love.  I guess that is what I have admired about him over the last 14 years and that is the love this man has expressed to every person who has come in his path.

Last evening he told me his problem was that his heart was racing and I said, “Well that is because your wife, Carolyn walked in the room.”  To which he replied, “My heart races for her all the time, I miss her when she is not in the room with me.”  This is from a man who is 82 years young.  He was at the VA hospital because he wanted to save money incase she needed medicine they would have it.  It was love, just love.

Harold Adams reminds me with his life that love is more than a word or feeling, it is a action expressed to someone else.  His favorite book of the Bible is I John.  He calls it “Little John.”

1 John 4:11-12 (NIV)   Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

I like this little poem I read some time ago about love and it says this:

“A bell is not a bell until you ring it; and a song is not a song until you sing it;
and love is not love until you give it away.”

just wait

I am reading a book by Jentezen Franklin called, Believe That You Can.  He tells a story about a California couple who walked through a canyon and found wild mushrooms.  So they decided to pick some and bring them home and cook them for the evening meal.  The fried mushrooms tasted so good they decided to call some friends over to enjoy the meal with them.  After dinner they let the cat have the scraps that were left over from the mushrooms.  Sometime later the host went into the kitchen only to find the cat foaming at the mouth and panting for breath.

He immediately phoned the veterinarian, who advised the man that he and his dinner guests had better get to the emergency room as soon as possible to have their stomachs pumped.  The vet suspected that they had picked poisoned toadstools instead of mushrooms.

After going to the hospital and having their stomachs pumped, the people finally made it back home.  They expected to see their cat lying lifeless on the floor.  Instead, the cat was in the corner of the kitchen with a brand-new litter of kittens! What they thought were death pains were, in reality, birth pains! 

I tell you that story because I think we give up too soon on God when we can’t see things getting better or as a matter of fact we see things seemingly getting worse.  But, most of the time God is birthing something great in our marriage, finances, faith or health.  The truth is, we almost have to feel like we are going to die before we will become open to the deep change that we need to bring the miracle we have asked God for.  I have found many times it was at my breaking point that God did the miracle.  This is the point we let go of all pride and ask God and others for help.  Listen to what God says to you through his Word.

 ”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”…
2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV)

fan the flame

I read a story this weekend about a race that happened in the Greek Olympics that was different from other races.  In the other races, the winner was the one who crossed the finish line first.  But in the torch race, they lit a bunch of torches and handed them out to every runner.  They started to race with the fires burning, and the only way you could win the torch race was to finish with your fire still lit.  Just because you made it first didn’t count until they checked to see if your fire was still burning.

That’s where I think our focus needs to be in our relationship with God, our spouse and what we do for others.  It is to keep the fire burning.  What good is it if you are the fastest or smartest, if in winning you actually loose?

So the question I have to ask myself is, is my fire still burning and if so how can I fan the flame?  I think the only way to keep your flame burning is to express faith in God.

This is what the Paul in the Bible told his apprentice Timothy.

2 Tim. 1:5-7 (NIV)   I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Let’s fan the flame by expressing our faith in God in every situation of our life.

change is good…you first.

Yesterday in our staff meeting we discussed the topic of change.  I had our staff listen to a John Maxwell leadership lesson called, “Change is Good….You Go First.”  The focus of the lesson was on the fact that change is never easy.   To that statement, I say a big AMEN!

I have come to believe all of us want change in our life.  I just think we go the wrong way to get it.  I think most of us address cosmetic parts of our lives, which is the outside and somehow we have been sold that with this idea we can buy change.  Men are the worlds worst at this.  We think if our wives or children are not happy, we can buy them something and it will make them happy.  That my friends, is cosmetic change and it will only last for a few days and then you are right back with the old problem. 

Real Change happens when we admit that we have a problem and most of the time it is a past hurt, or an attitude that we have developed.  So real change starts with me taking a deep look into myself and saying, “What do I need to change about my attitude?  Who do I need to forgive? What do I need to let go of?”

This is what the Bible and the Christian life is all about.  Changing you from the inside out.  The Bible tells us that the evidence of the Christian life is called the Fruit of the Spirit.  These work in us helping us have deep change that produces Christ likeness.  What is the Fruit of the Spirit specifically?  Galatians tells us.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Here’s the question I have to ask myself, “Are these qualities growing in me or are they becoming less evident in my life?”

The bottom line is this…. it is far easier to ask everyone else to change than it is for me to change, but real change must start within ourselves.

who rules you?

Sunday I will be speaking about the challenges of a “child focused” family.  The bottom line is that they don’t work.  Rhonda and I are as guilty as anyone trying to give our children things that we didn’t have.  I think it is that very vain in that we all can go too far in trying so hard to help our kids have it better than we did.  Let me say there is nothing wrong with that desire of wanting your kids to have a better childhood than you, the problem comes in when our children are the center of every decision we make.

In our culture it is like our children rule.  They decide where we eat, what we watch on TV and when and if we go to church.  When we base all of our decisions on what children want it destroys our home.  When they get to be teenagers they expect to be in charge and want you to do what they want you to do when the want you to do it.

You know it really is good for our kids to hear the word, “no.”  This discipline of not giving in to our children’s every request is our responsibility as their parents.  I have found what is hard for me is saying no to a request when I have the ability to fulfill it, but I know it is not what is best for them.

I don’t like to say no in order to let them grow.  You know what helps them grow even more is when they see me want to do something, but because God says, “no,” I don’t do it.  When they see me not acting like everyone else because God says not to do it, it speaks to them.  It lets my children know that they are not in charge of our home and I am not in charge of our home.  God is in charge and He is the one we all have to answer to.

I just would encourage all of us to share a God moment with your children.  When you are in traffic and someone cuts you off, tell your children I want to let that person have it, but because God does not want me to,  I am not.  When you receive a blessing or a answered prayer, share it with them.

Teach your children that God wants to bless them, but sometimes the blessing comes from not getting what we want.  I thank God for many of my prayers he didn’t answer looking back.

Matthew 7:11 (NIV)   If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

uncomfortable

I received this statement about leadership from Kristy Mosel, our student pastor’s wife this morning and I thought, “How true.”  It is from Seth Godin’s site  and here it is. “Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead.”

Leadership is very discomforting because there is always a new problem facing you.  I have never been the kind of person to sit back and talk about problems.  There is something inside of me that I feel responsible to help.  Sometimes that is a gift and sometimes it is a curse.  Leadership is all about problems. If there were no problems, there would be no need for leadership.

Stockbridge Community Church is a place that develops leaders that are willing to be uncomfortable in order to bring comfort to others.  Next Sunday over 80 people will be led through discomfort by giving blood.  For every pint of blood, three lives will be saved. That is 240 people’s lives saved.

Next week we will have over a 150 people leading and willing to be uncomfortable by serving as ushers, greeters, singers, student workers, children workers, nursery workers, parking lot attendants, bulletins stuffers, small group hosts and on and on the list goes.

That’s what makes this church great, people willing to be discomforted in order to help someone else.  That my friends, is the best leadership you can give.

Jesus was the greatest leader.   Listen to what he says about himself.

Mark 10:45 (NIV)   For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

 

I was down to nothing

I shared with you I am reading Jentezen Franklin’s book, Believe that you can.  He made a statement in this book that is good for all of us to remember.  He says, “When you are down to nothing, always remember God is up to something.”  Let me share with you a time I was down to nothing. 

Back in 2003 we had just built a new church building and had only been it for three months when the person that handled the church accounting came in and gave me the most horrible news.  She said I have to tell you we only have $8,000 in the bank and I have to pay the salaries of the daycare staff and church staff.  She reminded me that our church payment would be due in a few weeks and it alone was $8,300.  In other words we are down to nothing.

I said thank you and she went back to her office and I did what any man of God would do when he was down to nothing.  I wept and told God that I would not let Him take the blame for this church going under.   So I said to God I would tell the church I had failed as a leader and we will sale the church and I would not ever consider being a pastor again.

I guess 15 to 30 minutes had passed and the same lady who told me all the bad new said there are three men here to look at our church building and she could see I was not in any shape to show anyone around.  By this time I was wishing someone else had this new building.  I got up and said,  “I will show them.”  As I came out, there were three men standing there and I said,  ”Come with me and I will show you the sanctuary first.”   We stepped in the sanctuary and they said, “Pastor we love your church but we are here to talk to you about something else.”  I said, “What can I help you with?” To which they replied, “We are here from the Church of God in Christ organization and you own one of our churches.  The pastor of that church is trying to sale it and run off with the money.”

We had owner financed our little church in Forest Park, GA to a small congregation and they had went into bankruptcy.  We were getting very little from them.  So the man talking to me asked me what they owed on the building and I told him it was a $157,000.  He said,  ”I brought a check today if you will sign the building over to me.”   The only problem was the loan had the pastor’s name on it.  I said, “You don’t know how much I would like to sell you this property, but that would be like me selling you my neighbor’s house.”  And so they left.  We could not figure out a legal way for them to buy it.  The Bishop had left me his number and ten minutes later I told Angie Benton who had worked with me through all these transactions.  By the way, she was the one who told me all the bad new 30 minutes earlier.  Angie looked at me and said, “Why don’t we sale them the loan and let them worry about being paid.”  I think I said, “Hallelujah!” In a matter of two weeks we had $157,000 in the bank.  That money sustained us for the next year until we got our feet on the ground.  God was up to something when I was down to nothing.

schnoodle training and spiritual health

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

Danny and I have had our schnoodle (schnauzer/poodle), Sadie almost one year.  In fact she turned a year old at the beginning of the month.  We had  a hard time “potty” training her when she was really young because we couldn’t be home with her all day.  Everytime she would potty in the floor, we would say, “No” and put her outside to potty.  But, when we were away, what should we do?  I know, some of you are saying, “Crate train” but as she got older, it became too hard for us. 

Then, we came across the potty pad!  Wow.  Something she could use when we are away.  She would use it occasionally, but still mostly on the carpet.  We decided to get hardwood floors installed.  At least it would be easier to clean up then, right?  But then as we continued training with her, all of a sudden, she began to use the potty pads.  Everytime.  All the time.  It was a miracle. 

Except now, one year later, she has started pottying occasionally in our room on the carpet.  Ugh!  What is the deal?  Well, back to training.  We can’t let up.  We get lazy, then she has a ”slip up” and it reminds us that she needs constant training.

Maybe you are wondering why I am talking about puppy training, but it reminds me of our spiritual walk.  We should always be “in training.”  Keeping up our habits.  Reading our Bible, praying each day.  Even if for 5-10 minutes daily.   We go for a while and we do well, but then we began to see our attitude going downhill because we got lazy in our spiritual habits.  We say things we usually don’t say when we are maintaining our relationship with God.  We do things and let things slip that we wouldn’t normally let slip.  We must always continue our training.  We can’t let up.

How are you doing in your spiritual habits?  Prayer time, reading your Bible, fellowshipping in a small group, giving….these are all thing we must keep up to maintain a strong spiritual life.  We must replace our old habits with new ones. 

One way to learn more about these is to take the 201 Class we offer at SCC.  It helps us learn spiritual habits that helps us continue to grow in our walk 7 days a week.  If we will put the right stuff in, God will continually renew it in us day by day to make us more like Him!

You have put off the old self with its habits, and have put  on the new self … which God is continually renewing in His own image, to bring you to a full knowledge of Himself. Col. 3:9-10

feels good

Today I am still overwhelmed with the generosity, love and patience of the people of Stockbridge Community Church.  Yesterday we had over 90 people attempt to give blood of which 75 made it through the interview process of eligibility which resulted in 59 pints of blood in a 6 hour period.

I am so proud of our usher team who helped take care of 535 people. They did an outstanding job finding everyone a seat and taking care of the all those who came in later.  What can I say about our outreach team who organized such a great day with our blood drive?

If you are reading this post and are not apart of the family at SCC you may not understand why so many people serve in their church family and their community.   I will let you in on the secret.   Are you ready?  Here it is, “WHEN WE DO GO WE FEEL GOOD.”

Could you use a good dose of feel good?  God has a way for you to stir up that feel good feeling.  It is not in a pill bottle, liquor bottle, beer can, illegal drug or a new sexual partner.   God’s way for you to stir up the feel good feeling is for you to do something personally to help someone else.  You know most people say I pay taxes and our government helps people so I am doing my part or they say I go to such and such church and give my offering and they help people so I am doing my part.

People who think like that are missing it and if the truth is known, they are miserable.  There is nothing that can take the place of personally getting involved and giving of yourself to do good for someone else.

So I have a question for you.  Will you join those of us who are apart of the happiest people in the world?  We are called the “Do Good Crowd.”

Acts 10:38 (NIV)   how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

 

react or respond?

Today as I write this post my body is screaming at me because I tried to treat it like it was sixteen years old.  I am at a pastor’s retreat with six other pastors and last night after our meeting, which lasted until 11:30 pm, we decided to play basketball.  My legs are sore and if that was not crazy enough, we didn’t go to bed until 2:30 a.m. 

So, now it is 7:30 a.m. and I am writing this post before we go to breakfast.  I knew I was in trouble this morning when my alarm went off and I started to count how many hours of sleep I had.  The answer I came up with was….not enough.

I would like to share something with you that Courtney Bon shared with me after our Sunday worship service about reacting versus responding.

The root meaning of the words react and respond are as follows:

“Re” = again  “Act” = behavior
“Re” = again   “spond” = communicate

If we react, we only emphasize the behavior that we don’t want to happen again.  Yelling back at someone because they yell at us puts fuel on the fire.  But, if we focus on communication and respond when there’s a problem, we then can work it out.  Communicating and responding helps us to turn toward the problem for a solution, not to “counter attack.”

So, the next time you are tempted to react, take a deep breath, count to 10…even leave the room, then approach the situation with a calm head and a responsive heart.

“In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  Ephesians 4:26

is God really out there?

Guest Blogger:  Ricky Mosel

We all wonder at times, looking at the big, gaping universe, walking through hallway during a mundane day at work, staring eyeball to eyeball with ourselves in the mirror. Are we alone in the universe? Is there really more to this world than what I can see and feel? Is there someone hidden from our sight, behind everything?…
 
What answers your wonderings? What is it  that assures (or reassures) you of God’s very real presence?  The giant oak tree in your backyard…your kid sister’s smile…the amoeba under the microscope…the melody of your favorite song – so many things can be the needle pointing north for us, that evidence Someone is there, deeply hidden behind everything.
 
 “For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and the sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.” Romans 1:20 NLT

better together

I have spent the last three days with six other pastors that I call my Pastors Covenant group.  This is a group that is basically a small group for pastors.  Not only do we encourage each other, but we also hold each other accountable for our continued pastoral development and personal commitment to our families.

You may not believe this but most pastors are so concerned with taking care of everyone else’s family, sometimes we can neglect our own.  When this imbalance occurs, bad things happen in a pastor’s families just like anyone else’s and the church will suffer.

Not every pastor has a great church family like me who understands the importance of family time and down time.  As I listen to those that were around me this week it just made me so thankful that I am the pastor of the greatest church on the planet. 

You hear me talk all the time about the importance of being in a small group.  I believe I it so much that I am apart of two, one with my church family and one with my pastor friends.  I always draw strength from my small group, especially my church family group that meets weekly.  I love them.

I hope you will take advantage of the strength that you can receive from joining a small group at SCC.  This Sunday we will begin our sign ups for our fall spiritual growth campaign called, “Life’s Healing Choices.”  This will be a great time for you to get to know some new friends.

We are better together!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)   
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls
down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him
up!

alcohol

This weekend I had the privilege of going to the Atlanta motor speedway and watching the race with some wonderful people from SCC.  It was very different from all other races I had been to because it was at night.

The cars under the lights looked fantastic. The temperature was just right.  Going to the race with Joe Anderson and Jimmy Martin is always great.  Joe provides the entertainment by talk to every person around him and Jimmy provides all the “technical gadgets” like headsets that pick up the drivers conversation with their crew.  I just enjoy it all.

The other thing I noticed about the night race was the amount of alcohol being consumed and the effect of what had already been consumed.  Alcohol brings out the worst in people because they lose all self control.  We saw two guys get into a fight three row in front of us, who actually came to the race together. 

When I was a child I was around Alcohol all the time and the results have not changed in all these years.  One person starts running their mouth at someone else and it always ends bad, even friendships and families break up.  That is why the Bible is very clear about getting drunk, because it makes people do things they would never do unless they were under the influence of Alcohol. 

Ephesians 5:18 (NLT)   Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.

God’s Word brings Alcohol and the Holy Spirit up as a comparison because both have to be a choice by an individual to consume.  You consume alcohol by drinking it, but you are consumed by God’s Spirit when you read God’s Word and meditate on it or by listening to someone share it or even praying to God.

The consumption of alcohol brings a state of being out of control in your own body.  Being consumed by God’s Spirit make you more in control of your attitude and actions.

my run in with a ticket scalper

You are not going to believe what happened to me last Friday night. I had planned a date with Rhonda to go to the Braves game. I know she is not into sports, but they were having a fireworks show after the game so I knew she would enjoy that. I called one of my neighbors Ann Rourk and asked, “How could I get into the game inexpensively?” She always knows the best deals. She found a coupon for buy one ticket get one free and gave it to me.

Friday night comes and I take Rhonda to my favorite place to eat, The Varsity. Yes I am the king of romance, ha ha ha. We get to Turner Field about 8:20pm the game is in the fourth inning. We get in line to buy our tickets with my coupon and right before I step up to the window a man behind me asked me if I would like some tickets cheap. Well needless to say, those words got my attention because I knew I was looking at spending about fourteen dollars with my coupon. He said, “Step over here.” So I did and he handed me two tickets. I said, “Are you giving me these tickets?” then he said “How much?”

At that point it hit me that he was a ticket scalper and I was about to say, “No thank you”, but before I could say anything I heard a voice say, “Hey come here!” and the guy took off and left me holding two tickets. The voice was a police officer yelling at the scalper to come to him. Well, I don’t know what to do so I look at the officer and he looks at me as he is scolding the scalper for being inside the gated area selling tickets. The officer says, “Sir take those tickets and enjoy the game.” I am thinking, “I don’t want to take the man’s tickets.” So I turned to try and give them to the officer or scalper and the officer followed Rhonda to the gate to make sure we didn’t give the tickets back. It was either we go to the game for free or the scalper goes to jail. After I got into the ticket gate and the attendant scanned them, I looked at the tickets to see where the seats were. They were in section 103 row 8. If you don’t know, there is not a better seat in the stadium. The face value of the tickets were $52 each. After we got over feeling bad for the guy, it was the best night ever. The temperature was great and the fireworks were wonderful.

Luke 6:38 (NLT) If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving—large or small—it will be used to measure what is given back to you.”

hope, help and healing

I read a statement this week that I think is so true, “WHEN WE LOOK BACK WE LIVE IN REGRET, WHEN WE LOOK AROUND WE LIVE WITH WORRY, BUT WHEN WE LOOK UP WE LIVE WITH HOPE.”

I, like most of you, have had a time of looking back over my life and have seen all the mistakes I have made as a husband, father and pastor.  If I dwell on them, I get down.  Especially when I think if I had done things differently with my children, they would not have some of the struggles they have.  I think that is a road block for many parents…blaming themselves for every problem the kid has.  A Christian psychologist told me once that God was the perfect parent to Adam and Eve and his children still made big mistakes.

When I look around at all that is going on in the world and our country, it is easy to let worry take over.  I was sitting in our Financial Peace class last night watching Dave Ramsey teach on video about how to get out of debt by being very committed to the process.  He said, “You can’t borrow your way out of debt no matter who you are.”  I thought you and I know that, but some how Washington DC doesn’t get it.  When I look at our country paying over five hundred million dollars a month to China just in interest, it is very concerning to me.  I hear all these new programs that the government wants to start on borrowed money… that concerns me.  Our generation is leaving our children with a country that is broke. 

Here is the good news.  When I look up I see hope.  God is hope and I understand that he is in control.  That is why we are doing this spiritual growth campaign called “Life’s Healing Choices.”  You know, God’s principles are never changing and they work and have worked all through history and will work into eternity.  It is like a compass. No matter where you think north should be, a compass will always point to north.  In this sermon series and during our small group sessions, we will look in God’s Word for real hope, help and healing for many of our hurts, habits and hang-ups.  We will have a new perspective on real answers to life’s problems through finding true north through God’s Word.

at the race track

This blog post didn’t make it to email subscriptions so enjoy if you missed it!  Originally posted September 8.

This weekend I had the privilege of going to the Atlanta motor speedway and watching the race with some wonderful people from SCC.  It was very different from all other races I had been to because it was at night.

The cars under the lights looked fantastic. The temperature was just right.  Going to the race with Joe Anderson and Jimmy Martin is always great.  Joe provides the entertainment by talk to every person around him and Jimmy provides all the “technical gadgets” like headsets that pick up the drivers conversation with their crew.  I just enjoy it all.

The other thing I noticed about the night race was the amount of alcohol being consumed and the effect of what had already been consumed.  Alcohol brings out the worst in people because they lose all self control.  We saw two guys get into a fight three row in front of us, who actually came to the race together. 

When I was a child I was around Alcohol all the time and the results have not changed in all these years.  One person starts running their mouth at someone else and it always ends bad, even friendships and families break up.  That is why the Bible is very clear about getting drunk, because it makes people do things they would never do unless they were under the influence of Alcohol. 

Ephesians 5:18 (NLT)   Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.

God’s Word brings Alcohol and the Holy Spirit up as a comparison because both have to be a choice by an individual to consume.  You consume alcohol by drinking it, but you are consumed by God’s Spirit when you read God’s Word and meditate on it or by listening to someone share it or even praying to God.

The consumption of alcohol brings a state of being out of control in your own body.  Being consumed by God’s Spirit make you more in control of your attitude and actions.

reminders from Patrick Swayze

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

A lot of prominent people have died this year.  Walter Cronkite, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy, and recently this week, Patrick Swayze.

You may remember Patrick from Ghost…and that other movie with a lot of dancing   Guys may remember him from Roadhouse and an older movie with a lot of then up and coming stars, The Outsiders.

I saw an interview with Patrick and his wife last night with Barbara Walters that was filmed earlier this year.  She asked a lot of questions about death.  He mentioned a very famous line in the movie, Ghost where his character says, “The love you have….you take it with you.”  His character had died and come back from the other side to help his widowed wife.  He also mentioned in the interview that he does believe that we have a soul and that we will live forever somewhere else.  Immediately that verse came to mind that “God has set eternity in the hearts of all men.” Ecclesiastes 3:11.  No matter your background or your religion….a sense of eternity exists in all of us.

My first hope for Patrick Swayze and all of these others is that they accepted Jesus as their Savior.  My second thought is that time is short and every minute we spend with our loved ones is a gift.  So, make it count.  Then, when it is all said and done, if we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and live for Him, we’ll spend eternity together.

John 11:25-26   Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

back from the beach

I am back and well rested mentally and spiritually.  My family and I went to Myrtle Beach for a five day get away.  It was really fun.  I am not really a beach person but I must say I enjoyed this trip more than any other we have ever taken to the beach.

In September the beach is mostly filled with senior adults who are relaxing and so we don’t have to put up with all the college kids being crazy.  I enjoyed this aspect of the trip, but my children reminded me it was boring to them because there were no young people to hang with.

Needless to say I had the ocean to myself and boy did I take advantage of that.  The waves were about four to five feet high and Katelyn and I played in the water all week long from morning until evening while Rhonda and her mom and dad sat under a 10×10 tent that we put up every morning as Robby, Katelyn and I entertained them with trying ride the waves with a float and inner tube.  They would watch us day after day get flipped, crashed and twisted by the waves.

I could handle all of that, but Katelyn went to the store and saw a board called a “skim board.”  Some kid salesman told her how fun it was and how easy it is to ride on the edge of the water.

For those of you who have never heard of skim boarding, you take a small board that looks like a small surfboard with no fin, throw it on beach as the water comes into about an inch deep and the board is suppose to skim across the shallow water.

All I will say about this is it doesn’t work very well when you throw it on the edge of the water, run beside it, jump on it and the water runs out.  If you do I tell you from experience, your feet will come off the board and go over your head as your body rolls across the sand.

So, with that said, I am rested, although a little bruised,  but ready to lead SCC into the greatest spiritual growth of our churches history.

it’s coming

I have been preparing for our fall spiritual growth campaign.  A spiritual growth campaign is when our entire church studies the same topic for a set amount of time.  This fall we are calling this campaign “Life’s Healing Choices.”  It is based on the beatitudes that Jesus taught us in Matthew chapter 5.

In these eight beatitudes we learn eight choices we can make to help us find real happiness.  There is one common denominator in all of your failed relationships and problems…they all involve you and my problems involve me. 

In this series it we will open our hearts as we open God’s Word and allow his healing power to change us from the inside out.  You and I only change when one of two things happen to us.  We change when we “see the light.”  That is what this spiritual growth campaign is all about.  Or we change when we feel the heat or pain of hurts habits and hang-ups.  Trust me, it is better to change by “seeing the light” than to have to feel the pain.  So, as we dive into the next 9 weeks, you can expect God to turn the light on in several areas of your life that you may receive hope, help, and healing.

my hang ups

Tuesday our church staff met together to prepare our hearts for a spiritual renewal.  I shared with them that this spiritual growth campaign is for me.  I want God to change me from the hang-up I have.  I shared with them that I have been a person who has always struggled with trying to do things myself.  I have at times prided myself in being such a practical thinker and problem solver.  I tell you for years I have been self reliant.  I have used God’s principles to guide my life and listen to that still small voice to keep me from evil, but my hang up has been playing it safe.  In other words, I would never take risk that I didn’t have two or three back up plans. 

 

I can tell you when you live like that it produces all kinds of pressure because you make yourself totally responsible for everything that happens around you.  I am learning that when I try to control what is out of my control I am playing God and totally remove God from the situation.

 

So I am praying God will help me have the change I need in my heart that I may spend the rest of my life taking God size risks and not Jeff size risks.  I look forward to God changing me over the next 9 weeks that I may live in his peace and depend on his power instead of living with pressure and depending on my power.

 

So I can tell you that this campaign will be different than any other I have ever led because the focus is on me and God not on others and God.  I invite you to choose the same attitude, the attitude that says, “It’s me Lord that needs healing, hope, help and happiness.”

 

Matthew 5:6 (NIV)   Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

 

over the next 8 weeks

Sunday night’s worship and communion service was awesome.  It was so wonderful having all of us come together to prepare our hearts for what God wants to do in us over the next eight weeks as we begin this new spiritual growth campaign called, “Life’s Healing Choices.”

I started this week with a new commitment to draw closer to God by reading his Word at night instead of watching the news before I fall asleep.  I usually watch Fox News for an hour until eleven.  So I decided I would step up my spiritual life by reading at night.   I made a decision a few years ago that the first person I wanted to speak to me in the morning was God so I started getting up at 6am and reading the bible.  Now, the last thing on my mind when I go to bed will be God and his Word..

I can tell you last night I had one of the best night’s sleep I have had in a few weeks.  I want to encourage you to do something different to grow spiritually.  Let me give you a few ideas that can help you turn up the heat in your relationship with God.

Maybe you can try fasting a meal once a week and spending that time praying and asking God to change you over the next eight weeks.

Maybe you can try saying a one minute prayer at the top of every hour for yourself to be open to what God wants to say to you.

Maybe you decide to read the Bible at lunch time for the next eight weeks.

 Maybe you start a prayer journal through the next eight weeks and you write out a prayer in the morning and read over it several times through out the day.

Maybe you begin to tithe over the next eight weeks in obedience to God and write down what happens during that time.

Remember your life changes for the good when you open your mind and heart to what God wants in your life and most of the time that means slowing down or getting still so you can hear him.

I would encourage you to say no to busyness and relax by taking a walk or doing something outside that you enjoy.  Let your mind focus on God and his creation. 

Psalm 19:14 (KJV)   Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

 

god’s way

In my personal Bible reading I am going through the book of Jeremiah.  As I read his warning to the people of Israel it sounds just like he is talking to us Americans.  Jeremiah lived in day when Israel had basically voted God out.  They were a culture of sexually immoral, idol worshippers and could not handle prosperity.

It just doesn’t make any sense to me.  When living under God authority is what got you to a place of prosperity, why couldn’t anyone look around and see, “here’s the problem, we have voted God out.  Let’s repent and do it God’s way.”

I believe that is what all of us need to do is to look deep into our hearts and ask the question, “Am I living under God’s authority and in God’s blessing?”  I believe this new spiritual growth campaign we are starting Sunday called, “Life’s healing choices” will help us do exactly that.  It will point us back to the basic steps of how to live under God’s authority and in God blessing.  I hope that you will be apart of this great spiritual renewal, I believe if you will take a step toward God by attending the next eight weeks at SCC, He will bring you the peace that you have been seeking.

Matthew 5:3 (Msg)   ”You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

thank you angie benton

Today I would like to give honor to a very special person who has served me and this church for almost 14 years.  Her name is Angie Benton.  Today is her last day working in our office as the accountant.  She was my personal secretary for 10 years and moved in an accounting role after her first baby, Lindi was born.  Now, after her second child Allison has come, she is going to be a fulltime stay at home mom. 

Words cannot say how much I appreciate her.  She walked with me through all the good and bad times.  There have been many times her words of, “we are going to make it” have given me the assurance that I needed.  She was one of my first employees and she has stood with me and was patient with me as I grew as a pastor and employer.

Words cannot say I how much I appreciate her for her love and loyalty that she extended to me and my family.  I am going to miss her being around the office, but will always be thankful for the impact on my life and SCC.

My life is better because of the people like Angie that have been apart of my life. 

So I would like to say, “Thank you Angie for 14 wonderful years of believing in the vision of SCC.”

sunday….wow

What a great day for Stockbridge Community Church.  We had 503 in attendance, over 40 first time guests and over 200 people committed to being in a small group.

I just stand amazed at what God is up to. Rhonda and I invited the young man’s family who I get the privilege of being a mentor to at Stockbridge Middle School.  His whole family came and it was great having them in church with us.  We took them out to eat after the second service was over and we had the best time sitting and talking with them.  My respect for the mother went up as I talked with this lady who has the responsibility of raising four children by herself.  All I could think about was how much Stockbridge Community Church could be a help to her.  I just wanted to say, “Why don’t you come and let the people of SCC love on you?”  When you have four children and you are single, you don’t get love returned to you in the measure that you express it to them when they are teenagers.  So, God has put the church in place to be a place that we can give and receive love.

Our small group time last night was the best ever.  When it came time for discussion we divided up into two groups, men in one and women in another.  It was great just to talk with men and share life with them and I know the ladies felt the same.  This series “Life Healing Choices” is changing me already.  I am becoming more aware of small things that I do that hinder my relationship with others.  I love “seeing the light” rather than having to feel the pain because of my problems.

I hope you will continue to walk this road of hope, help and healing with us over the next 8 weeks.  I know God is up to something big in your life as well as mine.

my prayer for you

Please watch this video below.  This is my prayer for you as we begin the first week of our spiritual growth campaign, “Life’s Healing Choices here at SCC.”

wisdom teeth and some other wisdom

I am sitting in my living room looking at the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  She is laying on the couch sound asleep with a white band that goes around her chin to the top of her head.  She had her wisdom teeth extracted.  So my job is to be the nurse to her.  I love to serve her in times like these because she is always so willing to take care of me and the kids.  Oh how I love that woman.

I wanted to tell you a very important lesson I learned last week at a leadership conference called, Catalyst that I and a few others from SCC attended.

There was a guy by the name of Reggie Joiner who taught in one of the opening sessions.  His talk was on the family and how we get this picture of the ideal family in our minds that we all try to live up to it.  Somehow if our family doesn’t match up to that picture , we feel we are failures.

He points out in his talk that God never gives us a perfect picture in the Bible of a family.  All the people in the Bible that we know about had brokenness in their families.  When you feel that you, your spouse, or your children have done something or suffered something that has broken your family or is keeping you from being the ideal family, it can be very depressing.  There is no ideal family.  We all have issues we have to deal with and struggle with.

So here is the good news. God is not finished with you or your family.  What you say is broken and a failure in your eyes because things at this point have not turned out the way you pictured, is not so in God’s eyes.  There is a bigger story than what you see now.  Here is what I mean.  Take Moses.  If the story would have stopped when he murdered the Egyptian at the age of forty, we would have remembered him only as a murderer.  But that was only half of the story, the bad part.  We all know and remember Moses as the man God used at eighty to deliver God’s people.  Here is the take away for all of us.  There is a bigger story than what you see right now.  God doesn’t use perfect pictures, He uses broken people.

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)   And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.

my prayer for you

This is my prayer for you this week.  Please watch the video below.

what is God doing in you?

I don’t know what God is doing for you, but he is really working on me and in me.  This spiritual growth campaign (Life’s Healing Choices) has been the best for me personally because I have made it personal.  My prayer has been and continues to be, God change me.

I am asking God to bring the changes, let me see the changes that need to happen in me, and give me the power to step in that direction.  He has been very faithful to do so.  You know what I am learning?  When I humble myself and ask God to change me by letting me see the light of his ways, I have to admit the errors of my ways.  I can tell you this is a much better approach than having to feel the pain of my errors or sins.  Pride is a horrible sin and I had no idea that I had so much in me.

I must admit I have lived my life looking at other people’s lives and their errors and offered correction or help through God’s Word.  But I have spent the last few weeks asking God to reveal my sins that I might confess them that he can heal them.  I have read this verse for years and never really got the depth of it until now. 

James 4:7 (NLT)   So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.

Here is the take away that I have missed for years:   I must humble myself before God first.  In other words I must ask God to examine my heart and life and confess my desire to control and to want to look good in front of other people.  When I do that, the devil is no problem.  The devil’s greatest weapon in my life is filling me with me.

What holds you back?

Last night was a great small group meeting. I really enjoy breaking up into a smaller group with the men. Last night we talked about the things that hold us back like fear, guilt, worry, doubt and pride. The question was asked, “Which one of these do you think you struggle with the most?” My answer was, “It just depends on what is happening that day”. As we are finding out in our Life’s Healing Choice series, the greatest choice is to trust God. When we as humans admit that we are not God and that we need him, it removes pride. At this point we stop trying to control things that are out of our control. It’s only after this point that we can move to the next level of trusting God and that is to believe he has the power to change me and my situation. From there, we move to the next step of giving our will and life to Chris’s care and control. Here’s the bottom line that is being revealed to me… If I want to live without fear, worry, guilt and doubt I have to choose to trust God. The result of trusting God with my life is peace in my mind and heart. Someone said in my group God doesn’t want to take the steering wheel out of our hands he just wants to be the GPS that we follow.

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

the commitment choice

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

This week we learned that the Commitment Choice is choosing to consciously commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.  This choice is not about weakness but rather about meekness.  Meekness is bringing something under control, much like a bit in the mouth of a horse harnesses it’s power. 

When I make the Commitment Choice by accepting God’s Son as my Savior, I choose to accept God’s Word as my standard for living.  The Bible is living and active and, when I read it, it gets inside of me and changes me.  It is truth and will set me free.  The Bible takes pressure off of me to make decisions because it is my manual for life. 

I also choose God’s will over my own.  Following Jesus is a 24 hour a day, 365 days each year commitment.  Each morning I should thank God for the day and ask Him that His will be done, in my life, and that I can be a part in His story rather than trying to make Him a part of my story.  Choosing God’s will is the power of meekness in action. 

The final decision I must make as part of the Commitment Choice is living in the strength that God gives me.  His power in my life makes these other things possible.  The Bible says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). 

The key to the Commitment Choice is that I must humble my heart before God.  Jesus will knock at the door of my heart but He will not break it down.  I have to be willing to allow Jesus to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior.  Only then does God have the opportunity to change me from the inside out.  When I make this choice, God brings the same power that raised Jesus from the dead into my life and begins to heal me from my hurts, habits, and hang ups.

show some grace

I have continued to ask God to change me through this spiritual growth campaign that we are doing called “Life’s Healing Choices.”  I can tell you God has not come down and given me the writing on the wall, but He has opened my ears that I can hear him talking to me.

For example I am reading this book called Incarnate Leadership, by Bill Robinson.  In this book he talks about how we need to be like Jesus and live a life of grace and truth when it comes to dealing with others in our family, church, and on our jobs.

John 1:17 (NIV)   For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Most show very little grace to people for this one reason… we guess their motive before we give them a chance to tell us their motive or why they did what they did.  Most of us can get so worked up in our mind with anger or hurt feelings because we make up a motive in our mind and let all of our feelings flow from a false assumption.

So here is the deal about grace, stop guessing the motive of other people before you ask them and give them the benefit of the doubt.  Another way to say it is, “show some grace.”

If we will practice this our stress level will go down greatly because we want take everything so personally.  Then, our life again gets better when we change, instead of trying to get others to change.

10 things

Guest Blogger:  Rhonda Daws

                     “10 Things I Love About My Pastor”

 10. He’s the real thing

 9.  He goes shopping with me and really looks for what I like  

 8.  He is a great father to his children

 7.  He mops my wood floors

 6.  He is always learning and reaching for better things

 5.  His JOKES!

 4.  He’s a great pastor always watching out for his church 

 3.  His cute little head 

 2.  His love for God

 1.  He is the best husband a woman could have. There is no doubt about his love for me!

a prayer for you

Join Michelle Chastain this week as she prays for you in SCC’s Week Three of “Life’s Healing Choices.”

yard sales and tribulation trail

Have you ever had a weekend that was great but left you exhausted?  That would sum up mine.  Rhonda and I cleaned out our basement and closets all day Friday and into the night getting ready for the Financial Peace yard sale on Saturday.  We looked like the Beverly Hillbillies coming into the church parking lot Saturday morning.  We had lots of stuff that was priced from $1 to $5.  When our alarm went off at 6:30 a.m., I prayed that God would help us sell all that stuff because all the money was going toward the pledge Rhonda I made to by bicycles for the kids in Henry county who would not get anything at Christmas if it were not for the people of SCC.

We made $358! Praise God!  It was a miracle.  We came with my Envoy loaded from front to back and floor to ceiling along with a small trailer.   But at the end of the day, we left with two small boxes of stuff which we took it to the Haven’s House thrift store.

After we left there, I was so tired and wanted to go home and crash, but Rhonda reminded me that someone had given her tickets to Tribulation Trail.  I must be honest, I didn’t want to go because I was so tired, but I was so glad I did.  Rhonda, Katelyn and friend, Georgia and I walk through the trail together.  I was very impressed with the program, but more than that, I could sense the passion of every volunteer.  You could tell every person from the parking lot volunteers, to the trail guides, to the people who acted out every scene, to the people that prayed at the end, believed they were making an eternal difference.

I must say I was thrilled by the fact that I saw at lest 10 to 15 people from SCC there volunteering.  As a pastor that said to me that we really are a community church.

The most impactful moment for me was when my daughter and her friend said, “I want to volunteer next year to be apart of Tribulation Trail.”

So, I would like to say to all those who volunteer in our community, “Thank you for making life better for people you will never meet.”

Hebrews 13:20-21 (NIV)   May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

do we really want to be like jesus?

I finished Bill Robinson’s book called, Incarnate Leadership last night.  One of the things he shared was how we have a tendency to pick and choose how we want to be like Jesus.  This next statement got me, “But mostly we want Jesus to be like us.  It has been said that God created us in his own image; then we returned the favor.”

Ouch!  That one hurt.  I think all of us need to chew on that statement awhile and ask the question, “Do I want Jesus to look like me or do I want to look like him?” 

This statement draws us right back to God’s word when Paul tells us that we are to deny our selves or sacrifice our will by become a living sacrifice for Christ.  We thank God for Christ giving up of his will and obeying the Fathers will that cost him his life. That is what the cross was all about.

Now He asks us to give up our will for his will and receive a better life through Him.

Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)   Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 

the housecleaning choice

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain on “Life’s Healing Choices”

Week 4’s choice is that I openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.  The beatitude behind this choice is Matthew 5:8:  Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.  The truth is that I can not purify my own heart with good behavior.  Only God can give me a pure heart, and this pure heart will bring about good behavior. 

In Sunday’s sermon Pastor Jeff talked about Jesus bringing Lazarus back to life and that the disciples were told to loose the grave clothes.  This is what week 4 is about:  God has saved me (brought me back to life) and I have to examine myself and see what is wrong in my life.  Confessing the wrongs in my life to myself, to God, and to someone I trust (not on billboard outside of the local supermarket) is the removing of the grave clothes – bringing off the things that only the dead wear.  The living do not wear grave clothes!  Just like Lazarus needed help from the disciples to loose his grave clothes, we need help from others – our church family, our small group, and maybe even Celebrate Recovery or Christian counseling. 

I can not change myself; only God can change me.  My job is to surrender to God and allow Him to bring about change in my life that is needed.  As I spend time with God in His word and in prayer and with other believers, the grave clothes begin to come off, layer by layer, as He purifies my heart. 

This week as we make our moral inventories and share with other people, let us pray that God will begin to remove our grave clothes so that we can live in light of His promises.

Our Prayer For You

Please join Michelle Chastain as she prays for those involved in The Life’s Healing Choices Campaign at Stockbridge Community Church.

we must never forget

Yesterday I had a very sad hospital visit at Henry Medical Center.  I went to see a young man and his family who had over dosed and was on life support.  They will be removing it this morning at 10am.  It was so sad to look at the pictures of this young man that were around the room, so healthy, so happy and yet he lay there so broken.

Alan Greene went with me and we had prayer for the 20 year old who given up hope and bought the lie of the devil that he would be better off dead.  Jesus reminded us in his Word of the devil’s main objective. 

John 10:10 (NIV)   The thief (the devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

As I was sharing with this mother that I believe God can still speak to people when they are in a comatose state, her reply to me was, “I hope he finds the peace he has been looking for.”

My friends, that broke my heart because somehow this young man who lived in Henry County didn’t have a chance to know the love of God and the peace of God. 

Stockbridge Community Church, we must never get slack or lazy in doing all the good we can for all the people we can because that is what God has called us to do.  He has called us to give hope and without it, people will die. 

Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)   Where there is no vision (of God), the people perish:

People only see God in the good that his people do.  So let’s keep doing good that people may see God through us and find hope.   Remember, it feels good to do good and you are the most like God when you are doing good.

what i get is what i give

This morning I was reading the book “Life’s Healing Choices,” by John Baker.  I am reading the chapter on forgiveness and he made a statement that I believe is true for life in any area.  It is this, “YOU CAN’T RECEIVE WHAT YOU ARE UNWILLING TO GIVE.” 

That is the words of Jesus put in a different way.  Jesus said it this way.

 Luke 6:37 (NIV)   ”Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Here is the question that you and I must ask ourselves, “Are we giving to everyone, not just a few people, but everyone what we want back from God and others?”

Let that sink in and the next time you think about making someone pay with the cold shoulder, ask yourself, “Is that what I want back from God and others?”

the transformation choice

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain on “Life’s Healing Choices“

The choice for week five is the transformation choice.  This choice is about making changes, about voluntarily submitting to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly asking Him to remove my character defects. 

This choice is difficult for a number of reasons.  We can only work one character defect at a time.  We have to face each day one at a time. Leaving the life we know, even if it is bad, is scary!  We can not tackle all of our defects at once nor can we expect instant victory over things that have taken a lifetime to become habits.  Just as Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” we, too, must pray, “God, give me today the strength for (fill in the blank with your own need here)” 

So far we have faced some difficult and heavy decisions in this series but I want to challenge us all to remember that the changes are is tough they are worth the effort!  God will provide us His strength if we will only let Him!.  Remember, Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.  This week let’s desire what God wants and watch with expectation and enthusiasm as He begins to change the character defects in our lives that we have brought to Him.   Like little children who are receiving and unwrapping a long awaited gift from their Father, let’s be excited as we see what God is going to do in our lives through the transformation change.

if it’s to be….

I have been reading the Bible through this year and I am just now on the last book of the Old Testament.   So, it may be the end of January before I finish the Bible from cover to cover. 

As I read through the book of Micah I came across a pretty straight forward and very simple strategy for living life. 

Micah 6:8 (Msg)  What God is looking for in men and women.  It’s quite simple:  Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously – take God seriously.

I did my personal inventory of all my habits, hurts, and hang-ups and asked God to help me with them.   The one word that came to me…this very high D, type A person was RELAX!

I think that comes right in line with not taking myself too seriously and taking God much more seriously.  In order to do that, I have to realize I am in control of very little and drop the attitude of “if it is to be, it is up to me.”  Now my new saying is, “God, if it is to be, it is up to You.”

How about you are you?  Are you taking yourself too seriously and God, not serious enough?

our prayer for you

Please view the prayer below

choose your side

Today I heard on the news, like many of you, that the shooter at the army base at Fort Hood in Texas who killed 13 people and wounded 30 others was a known enemy of this country.  He was able to serve in the army because of our government trying to not be offensive to anyone.  I think we have had enough of being politically correct in this country.  It doesn’t work.

In order to be a great nation, great church, or a great family you have to have unity on some basic principles.  Our nation rose to be the greatest nation on earth because of our unity on the moral principles the Bible gives.

Here’s the deal.  We must decide who sets the boundaries for our lives.  I watched a little of the Monday night football game last night and they had side lines and goal lines that set the boundary in which both teams understood the game was to be played in.

If our marriages, our families, our churches or our country is going to survive, they have to have agreed upon boundaries. 

What has kept Rhonda and I together for over 22 years is not just our love for each other, because there have been times that we didn’t feel that strong of a love for each other.  It was God’s Word that set the rules before we got married.   We agreed that no matter what, we would honor God with or marriage.  We agreed to honor what God wants over what we want.

If you don’t set that standard for your life and your family, you will fall into the trap our army just fell into.  In the name of not wanting to offend anyone, they moved their boundaries to accommodate the enemy within their own ranks.  The end result was death to innocent people.

And that is what always happens when we don’t have Godly boundaries in our lives, innocent people die.  Like the baby that will be aborted today, the child whose innocence will be stolen because of a child molester.  Like the kid that is not like everyone else so the world will steal his or her innocence and convince them they are gay.

My prayer is, “God give us men and women who are like Joshua in the Bible.” 

Joshua 24:15 (NIV)   If serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

choice 6 – repairing relationships

Guest Blogger:   Michelle Chastain on “Life’s Healing Choices“

This week’s choice leaves me the following thought:  Repairing relationships – yuck!  Can’t I just leave all of this repair business to Jesus and let Him handle the parts of my life I’d rather not deal with?  The answer is a resounding, “No”.  Jesus showed His mercy to me when I didn’t deserve it and, as an expression of my gratitude for Him and what He has done in my life; I am to show His mercy to others. 

This means I’ll have to let go of the resentment and anger that I have harbored for a long time and have come to recognize as my traveling companions in life.  What will I do if I let go of the bitterness in me.  Who will I be?  How will I act?  This behavior is me is deep seated . . .

I am reminded of the words of the apostle Paul in his letter to the Philippian church: 
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.  Do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you.  Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”  (Philippians 2:13-15)

Wow.  God tells me in His word that He is working in me and giving me power!  I don’t have to repair anything in my own strength; He is with me.  And He offers me instruction on how to allow Him to work in me:  without complaining and arguing while I live a clean and innocent life.  He even goes so far as to tell me why:  so that no one can criticize me (for His sake) and He tells me who I will be as I do these things:  a bright light in a perverse world. 

As I begin to go about repairing relationships I praise God that I can walk in His strength and His might.  He will take my human attempts and with His divine power, make them glorious, as He is glorious.  I am already anticipating the healing that is headed my way!

kiss

I am sure that most of you have heard of the KISS method to accomplishing a task. 

I remember sitting in my class in junior high and hearing my math teach say remember the KISS rule which stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. 

As I was reading the Bible this morning that seemed to be what Jesus was saying when it comes to life.  He was telling his disciples if you really want to experience the kingdom of God you must become like a child in terms of faith.  I don’t know about you, but I have this problem.   When I start to over think things, it causes all kinds of doubt.

This is true of every relationship.  When I start to over think about what people say, I start to question their motives and that breaks down trust and causes me to have doubts about them.  When I over think golf, I hit the ball in the water.  When I over think about God and try to figure out why God does what he does, it causes me to have doubts.

But when I just use the KISS model for life and relax my mind, it brings peace.  I have found that I can only use the KISS model when I trust God and other people.   Jesus was telling all of us that real peace comes from trusting like a child.   Most children are not skeptics and you and I were not born skeptics.   The world has just taught us to be one.

So here’s the question that you and I have to answer.   Will you use the KISS model for life or will you keep over thinking everything and live in torment and not trust God or anyone else?

Matthew 18:2-4 (Msg)   For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, “I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom.

 

No More Baby Christian Here

Guest Blogger:   Michelle Chastain on “Life’s Healing Choices.”

I have to provide some background to let you know what week Seven, the Growth Choice, means to me.  Permit me, please, to share:  I grew up in church and internalized many truths into my head that I never learned or allowed to take root in my heart.  Therefore, when I became a Christian (really, honestly, and truly committed to Jesus) many of these truths came flooding back into my life and this time they headed straight to my heart.  The first six months or so of my new life was New-Christian Christmas for me as each day I was overwhelmed by previously rejected truths that God was bringing back to me.  I thought I understood the “maturity” thing and had it licked. 

Fast forward to today, as I was sitting in SCC listening to Jeff’s sermon.  While this campaign has presented many challenges, the underlying theme for me has been one that God has been whispering to me for quite some time:  “Michelle, it’s time to grow up.”  Today He skipped the whisper and instead used a stadium P.A. system. 

It is indeed time to grow up and that is what this week’s choice is all about.  Growing is about doing what is right, even when I don’t feel like it.  It is doing right when no one around me is looking or will ever know.  It is filtering my human thoughts through my God filter and biting my tongue if a cross word is there because my day has been bad or I am tired and am tempted to think only of myself.  Growing is running full force from sin. It is not trotting away from sin or dancing with it and hoping it won’t enchant me, rather it is putting on my gospel sneakers that bring peace and running with all my might toward God and His awesome power that will deliver me.  It is filling my mind with His word so that I have the Sword of the Spirit as my weapon.  (References: Ephesians 6:10-18)

God is a God of peace and not chaos (1 Corinthians 14:33) and He wants me to have peace in my life.  His salvation and peace are free to all who will but accept; however, He asks us to do our part by growing in Him by spending time with Him.  Praise God that when we take a little time from each day to spend with Him that He will work in me to help us to grow up.

my sunday blunder

Well, if you have not heard about one of my greatest blunders I am sure you will.  So let me just go ahead and set the record straight because it will follow me to my grave.  However, I am sure by then I will top it with something else. 

This past Sunday while speaking in the eleven o’clock service at SCC, I was making the point about how you can’t keep hanging out with people or in places that will pull you down into the habits or sins you are asking God to help keep out of your life.  So, I made the following statement, “If you have a problem with drinking, you don’t go to the bar with your buddies to eat the peanuts and expect not be influenced by the BOOBS.”   I meant to say, “BOOZE.”

For all who missed it, uncontrollable laughter erupted in the sanctuary from the stage to the audience. 

What is the great spiritual lesson?   “Do not take yourself too seriously.”  Learn to laugh at yourself.   It just makes life less stressful.

Matthew 23:12 (Msg)   If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.

 

whew!

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

Fall is busy for me and you too I’m sure.  I have to admit,  today…I feel a little overwhelmed.   I have a lot of things going on from now till the end of the year and we are also in the middle of planning 2010.  Then, let’s toss in the holidays and you’ve got a tight calendar.

But, one thing I have been reminded of through Life’s Healing Choices (along with my friend Dawn Ingalls) is that I can only focus on one thing at a time.  I can only work on one hang up at a time.  I can only focus on one project at a time.  I can only do my part.  God has the power to manage it all and he’ll give me grace at the right time to get it all done.

I love the Message version of Matthew 11:28.   I wrote it down since I came across it in the book, Life’s Healing Choices a few weeks ago and now I read it every morning.  I would encourage you to do the same and put it somewhere you can see when you feel overwhelmed.  It almost reads poetically.

(Jesus said)  

Are you tired? Worn out?
Burned out on religion?
Come to me.
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

That’s good stuff.

they are watching

The cry for happiness is what I heard last week as a man sat in the front seat of my car.  I sat and listened to him share all the ways he had tried to find it and each time he ended up further away from his desired destination of happiness.  The thirty minutes of sex was a fix and would not last.  The new cars and the nice house or new project on the house would all fade as soon as the newness wore off.   Money would not do it either because he had plenty of it.  But he was still missing it…. God’s love. 

What was so crazy is this man believed in God and would pray to God.  He shared with me how God has answered his desperate prayer more than once.  He said, “I have hit bottom and realize I can’t help myself anymore.  I need God.  Everything in my life has always been about me and my ego and I have hurt a lot people because of only thinking of me and the person that I have damaged the most is me.”

His last point to me was, “Tell people this life doesn’t work, it only creates more misery. What you have is what I want.  When I see you and your wife together I can tell you love her and she loves you.  When you are with your children I can tell you like being a parent. That smile that is on your face; I want that.” 

I never knew this guy was watching my life so closely.  I really thought he could care less.  Here’s the take away.  Someone is watching your life and desires what you have. You’re probably thinking they could care less about you and God.  However, the entire time God is at work in ways you can’t see.  So never stop being the light for those in darkness.

Matthew 5:16 (KJV)   Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

and suddenly…

Guest Blogger:   Michelle Chastain

P E A C E M A K E R.  The word itself brings to mind many images; one picture that this word does not inspire is my own portrait.  When I try to see myself as such I am faced with my humanness and my brokenness. 

God wants me to be a peacemaker?  How does this work?  When I cooperate with God, I am suddenly a peacemaker.     

Suddenly is, without a doubt, one of my favorite words in the entire Bible.  Suddenly is often present when God is in action: 

• “Suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind” (2 Kings 2:11)
• “Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall” (Daniel 5:5)
• “Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God” (Luke 2:13)
• And my favorite suddenly of all:  “Suddenly Jesus met them. ‘Greetings,’ He said. They came to Him, clasped His feet and worshiped Him. (Matthew 28:9)  This is incident is when the women went to Jesus’ tomb to care for His body and rather they found their Resurrected Lord.  Suddenly He was alive to them and there was hope for the future. 

This is how it works for you and me!  When we encounter Jesus, suddenly, He takes all of the things that I have tried to hide in the darkness for so long and changes my scars into something beautiful.  Are they still scars?  Yes.  But now they belong to Him.  Suddenly, in His glorious light, those ugly things can be used to help other people when I share the hope that Jesus has given me.  Week eight, the end of our series, is really week one for the beginning of the rest of our lives:  let’s celebrate sharing with others how suddenly Jesus gave us hope and changed our lives forever.

why I am thankful

I know thanksgiving was marked on the calendar for last Thursday, but I just want to tell you again how thankful I am for you.  I am thankful for the fact that I pastor people like you who allow me to be me.  I have so many flaws and you love me anyway.

I am thankful to God for you, Stockbridge Community Church because you put your money where your heart is and it showed up again this month as week gave over $15,000 to help the children who can’t help themselves.  You are the most unselfish people in the world.  I know that some of you gave your Christmas that others could have Christmas.

I want you to know that Rhonda and I love you and are honored that God has allow us the privilege to share life together with you.  My heart is filled with joy and my eyes fill with tears as I think about you.

Thanks again for being the loving, caring people you are, Stockbridge Community Church.

Pastor Jeff

stone mountain and me

Today is the first day of December and I can’t believe that another year is ending.  It does seem that when you get older time speeds up.  I remember someone saying, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.” Whatever!

I am on a spiritual retreat, just me and God in my camper at Stone Mountain.  No TV, phone off and limited email.  I have two Bibles and two books and my computer to write a new series we will be doing in January called, “KNEEL 2010.”  This series is about prayer and it will be based on the first six chapters of Daniel. 

I, like Pastor Rick was changed over the last eight weeks in the way I approach life.  When you spend your life in the public eye you learn really quickly to keep you guard up because not everyone has your best interest in mind.  Sometimes even as a pastor, when you get wounded by people, it makes you not trust.  If you aren’t careful this not trusting attitude can lead into not trusting God.

So over the last eight weeks through Life’s Healing Choices, God has shown me areas in my life that I still have guards up.  God said this to me very clearly through his Word and maybe this is a message for you too if you are struggling with trusting.

Luke 11:34-36 (Msg)   Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. 35Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. 36Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.”

Please pray for me this week.  Jesus’ greatest temptations came when he got away to fast and pray.  Pray for me that God will keep my mind clear and my heart open to receive from God the direction for SCC in 2010.  It is a spiritual war.

hiccups and no distractions

Well I am wrapping up this three day spiritual retreat today. I have really enjoyed this time with God and his word. I must be honest with you, I don’t enjoy being alone like this because I am such a people person. There aren’t ten campers in the whole campground and it has rained most of the time I have been here so I am dying to have a conversation with a human.

I didn’t realize how bad I missed people until last night I went to Chick-fil-a to get a bowl of soup and there was this young lady and a guy sitting two booths behind me and I could hear her problem with the hiccups. So I decided it was my job to help her get rid of them.   I went up to their booth and looked at her and said, “You did it, didn’t you.” She was like, “What are you talking about?”  I kept accusing her. She said,  ”I don’t know what you are talking about.”  I said, “Neither do I, but you don’t have the hiccups anymore.”  She didn’t appreciate my help and I could tell she thought I was some weirdo and she was right. Although the guy with her thought it was quite funny.

I must confess that was stupid and my desperation for conversation over ruled my logic. It is very hard for me to be still for a long period of time, but God has spoken to me over these last two days and nights. It is amazing how you can hear God when you eliminate the distractions. I have found this makes me more aware of the reality of God.

Psalm 46:10 (NIV) “Be still, and know that I am God;

lip service

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

I am a talker, period, and I am an animated talker.  I spent parts of both my childhood and adulthood being told that I talk too much and I’m sure that I haven’t heard the last of that.  I remember standing in the corner in the first grade in my Easter Dress because I was talking!  (In my Easter Dress – really?) 

As I have grown older I have discovered that there are both pros and cons to this quality or character trait. 

Pros:  I’m people oriented.  I love to regale you with stories of something foolish or silly that I have done or that has happened in my family.  I like to laugh loudly, both alone and with other people.  I do indeed talk to the wall. 

Cons:  I can rarely hide in a room.  Quiet people intimidate me.  On occasion, my ears recognize the sound of my own voice saying something I thought has remained in my brain. 

God’s word has much to say about talking and the tongue.  The Godly woman of Proverbs 31 “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (v.26).  Also, “reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).  Philippians says that “every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord” (2:11) but James 3:8 tells me that “no man can control the tongue”. 

Oh, dear.  Where does this leave a committed and Olympian talker like me?  It leaves me with lip service.  God created me, the talker, yet He gives me the free will to choose what comes out of my mouth. 

As we move into the season of celebrating Christ’s birth I pray that my words will reflect His light and His life, not my own.  I pray that the complaining that so naturally comes to the front of my brain will be smothered by the quietness of the Spirit and that His loving words will proceed from my mouth to bathe others in the light of His love.  I pray that any inconvenience or burden that I see will grow pale in the light of His glory and grace.  I pray that I will remember that my King left the greatness of His throne in splendor and glory to come to be born in a humble stable and laid in a manger. 

I pray that people see my Savior in my lip service.

keep your pace

I started running a little over a month ago.  Not by choice but by force.  Rhonda and I go to the county gym off of Millers Mill Road.   It is our Dave Ramsey gym.  The equipment is limited, but they have two elliptical machines, four treadmills and four exercise bikes and the walking track.  They also have a few weight machines as well.  I like to get there when they open so Rhonda and I can get on the two elliptical machines. 

Unfortunately, one of the elliptical machines broke and it takes months for them to have it fixed.  So, I am left to walking on a treadmill, of which I don’t like to do.  I decided that I would go outside to the walking trail that is about  1.7 miles.  I walked that trail the first day and then saw someone running it and I thought to myself, “I can do that.”  The next day I started running and almost died because there is a big hill where the trail comes out of the woods. 

Now I run with my son in the morning at 6am.  My neighborhood is about 2.3 miles around if you do all the cul-de-sacs.  So I am now up to 4.6 miles and I enjoy the run with my son.  But here is what running has taught me. It is all about your pace.  If I start out too fast I won’t make the first 2 miles.  If I am going to make the distance I have to keep my pace steady.  That is hard to do when you are going up hills and down hill.  Hills will kill you because they can break your pace.

Steadying my pace in my spiritual life is what I have to guard more than anything else.  Problems seem like the up hill run and busyness seems like the down hill run.  Still, in both cases they break my spiritual pace and that drains the life out of me when I allow it to do so.

So here’s the point. Don’t let anything get you out of step with God.  Guard your pace with your life.

1 Cor. 9:24 (NIV)   Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

one hit wonder

Guest Blogger:   Michelle Chastain

Does anyone besides me remember “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners?  How about “I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls (or that fella’s hair – how did he get his hair to do that???)  What about Tommy Tutone pining for Jenny in “867-5309” or Kajagoogoo singing “Too Shy”?  These were all One Hit Wonders of the 80’s (Disclaimer:  Check YouTube for video references if necessary) 

I can hear any of these songs at any time and sing loudly and smile.  I can remember hearing Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” at a friend’s house on a summer afternoon or watching a newly released video on MTV.  The weird thing is that it doesn’t take long for those songs grow old.  The lyrics don’t’ seem fresh and the songs don’t hold their old flare. 

These songs were for a time in history and that time is past.  Where is Eileen now – middle aged, wishing that red dress still fit?  And is that guy with the crazy hair still running?  Maybe Tommy and Kajagoogoo collaborated and decided that Jenny was just too shy. 

Jesus doesn’t grow old to me because He is for my every yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  His word “is alive and powerful . . . sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12, NLT) His mercies are new each morning (Lamentations 3:23)

Jesus is no One Hit Wonder.  He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha, and the Omega.  I love listening to His music play in my life!

and so dear friends…

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

I love Bible.  I love it’s promises and I love the fact that it tells me God loves me.  I am a huge fan of anything written by Paul.  He uses one phrase, however, that always makes me catch my breath:  In the NLT this phrase is:  “And so, dear friends . . .”

I read this as “Watch out – here it comes!”  Paul is getting ready to give some stern advice in a very loving way.  And when I see this phrase, I hear God say, “And so, Michelle” . . .  

This morning is no different; Paul calls me on the carpet early on Monday.  He writes, “And so, dear friends . . . make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in His sight.”  (2 Peter 3:14) 

Oops!  This year the Christmas season has been more hectic for my family than normal.  I have been out of sorts because of this and I can hardly be credited with making every effort – maybe not really making any effort. 

But God is so good and He is so amazing.  Even in this time of trial for me when I fail at making the effort, He LOVINGLY says, “Come on, Michelle, you can do it”.  In His great love, He doesn’t condemn me because Jesus already paid the price for my sins of grumpiness and impatience.  God is waiting to forgive me when I come to Him and truly say, “I’m sorry”.  When I don’t have the strength to carry myself, He is standing there and will gladly carry me if I will just let Him. 

So this morning I offer a “And so, dear friends” of my own to both me and to you:  “And so, dear friends, during the hectic Christmas season, let us not forget that our God is alive and He reigns and that He loved us so much that He left heaven and came to earth to save us.”  This is the truth that changed my life– I will reflect on it each day and allow it to continue to change me.

scc kids

WOW, WOW, WOW!  What a great Christmas program our children’s department put on last night.  The children of SCC are so talented and are not afraid to use their talent for God.  It is part of our mission as a church to help develop the God given talent of the children of SCC in a supportive environment in order that they may use their talent confidently inside and outside of the church.

I am so thankful for the leadership of Chesnee Dorsey.  She is a great leader with a passion for helping our Children at SCC become fully devoted followers of Jesus.  Chesnee is one of those people who serve quietly behind the scenes but her influence is felt in every area of SCC.  Our church would not be what it is today without her.  So I say thank you Chesnee for being the great leader you are.

 Special Note:

Chesnee would like to say thank you again to all those who made Sunday night possible!

 

releasing fear

I am reading a book by Charles Swindoll called, The Owner’s Manual for Christians.  In his book he makes a great statement about grace that is life changing if we all can apply it.  This is what he said “When grace is in your heart, your hope is to release others from fear, not create it.”

This is quite the reversal from the way I was raised and it seems to be not only my raising but many people in our society missed it as well.  I have to admit that I thought it was better as a parent to raise my kids with the fear of my wrath.  Unfortunately, it took me until my son went to middle school to realize that philosophy didn’t work.  When you have this mind set you think defensively all the time and you become a very defensive person.  Let me tell you, when you have that make up and God calls you to be a pastor, that is a serious problem.

It creates the greatest internal tension ever known to mankind.  Fear instillers are very plain spoken, hot tempered, and reckless with words and very crude people.  It is the people you avoid as much as possible.  I must admit all that describes me.  The only difference in me and the other people you know is theirs comes out all the time.  Mine is contained about 90% of the time with the help of Holy Spirit.  If God’s Spirit was not in my life, I would be a person you would not like to be around at all.

I think all of us have a little fear instiller in us.  Like when we threaten our spouse by not talking to them for days or cutting them off from money or our bodies.  In other words, every time you think or say how you will retaliate, that part of you that is a fear instiller is popping up.

The good news is if God can change me, he can change anybody.  So if you are a fear instiller, I urge you today to ask God to fill your heart with grace so you can begin to release others from fear and never create it.  You can only bear this cross with the help of Holy Spirit.

Matthew 16:24 (NIV)   Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

I have this great battle that I will tell you about tomorrow that I fight daily.

my daily fight

I told you in yesterday’s post I would tell you about a battle I fight daily.  The battle that I fight everyday is the fear I am going to instill fear in someone.  What I am saying is there was a time I didn’t care if I hurt your feelings.  Now, I have this inner battle between me and the Holy Spirit that happens every time I get into a tense situation.

Here’s how it happens.  Someone will say something I disagree with and all of a sudden my heart starts pumping and adrenaline is racing through my body because my body has been training to gear up for a fight.  My eyes glare and words become nervously spoken, but not because I am mad at the person, it is just because I care about the person and don’t want to hurt them with what I am about to say.

So, my battle is within me and how am I going to state my feelings.  I hate this battle because it happens often.  I don’t have this battle when I am around people I don’t really know.  It is the people I care about the most. 

This battle makes me feel weak and that is the last thing a person who is type A wants to feel.  Here’s what I’ve learned. I had rather wrestle with the Holy Spirit over the old me, than hurt people’s feelings by not guarding my words.

The bottom line is that the fear I used to use to get what I wanted, I now wrestle with the Holy Spirit internally and the outcome is I don’t make people feel threatened anymore.  God knows I don’t ever want to give anyone that feeling again in my life, so God gives that feeling to me first so I don’t give it to others.

This sounds nuts but it is my cross I have to bear.

Matthew 16:24 (NIV)   Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

god’s love with skin on

Great message yesterday Pastor Rick.  “Jesus is Lord!”  If you were not here at SCC, I would encourage you to go to our website and listen to Sunday’s message. 

In thinking about Christmas, I have come up with the bottom line of what Christmas is all about for me.  Christmas is all about God’s expression of love.  I just think God put skin on love when he sent Jesus to earth.

Jesus’ life is all about seeing God’s expression of love.  We see Jesus as a baby and we feel the gentleness of God’s love.  We look at Jesus life and we see the actions of love.  We look at Jesus death and we see the compassion of love and we look at Jesus resurrection we see the power of love. 

Here is the question I have to ask myself and you must ask yourself.  What am I going to do with that love?

Will you receive it?  Will you pass it on to others?

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)

peanut brittle with love

Has anyone ever given a gift to someone and your hope was that when they opened it, it would strike a cord in their heart and they would just feel loved by you?  Men, let me be your friend.  If you are hoping to strike that cord of love in your wife or girl friend, peanut brittle will not get it done.  No, that gift will stop all music that is playing her heart and she will, look at you with this blank stare and say, “Peanut brittle?  I don’t even like peanut brittle!”  I speak from experience I am sad to say.

And whoever said it is not about the gift, it is the thought that counts, is a liar.  Gifts given with expressions of love come in all kinds of different packages.  Some of you will receive a piece of jewelry and your husband is praying that it is true that every kiss begins with Kay.  There are children who will receive Hannah Montana dolls and that will be an expression of love from a parent.  Even though they all have different packages, they’re all gifts motivated by love.

So really all we are all trying to do is give and receive love with this gift exchanging idea.  The Beatles were right when they said, “All we need is love and love is all we need.”

That is exactly what God gave us on that first Christmas….a gift of love.  And that is what he has to offer to you today.

The point:  God’s gift to you and me is love

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)

Headline News

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

Picture yourself as a cold, weary shepherd sitting in yet another dark field on yet another dark night, likely shivering yet again by a small fire.  The sheep are sleeping and you and your fellow shepherds are settled in for the night.  Maybe you’re nodding off to sleep; maybe you’re recapping the events of the day; maybe discussing exactly where you’ll drive those sheep tomorrow. 

Suddenly the sky fills with light.  You rub your eyes to make sure you’re not seeing things; you look at your buddies to see if they see it, too.  Sure enough, angels are everywhere, and a heavenly chorus is proclaiming:  “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10)

The shepherds are surely startled by this breaking news”.  This is a big deal – God is telling them personally that unto them – yes, even to shepherds! – a Savior has been born.  And if you’ll only go then you’ll see this baby that has come to save the world. 

The shepherds went and then they told everyone what they had seen and heard.  They spread this biblical headline news with the people around them. 

Now picture yourself, today.  We spread the headline news of our time:  the sagging economy, the unemployment rate, off shoring jobs, etc. .  What about the good news of our time?  The birth of Jesus is still headline news for us.  He is still the good news to all people.  He is still the Savior, Christ the Lord. 

This headline never grows old.  Did this headline die?  Yes, He did – but only to be resurrected on the third day after He defeated death and the grave.  This headline news lives on and is for today and we need to share it with everyone.  Put that newspaper down and share the real good news with someone today.

Shepherds After Christmas

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

When God delivered the good news of the birth of Jesus the first recorded announcement presents angels talking to shepherds. Heavenly messengers talking to dirty, smelly men in a field who keep watch over one of the dumbest animals in history. There is great irony in this scenario. Luke 2:20 tells us that the shepherds “went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen”. These men were changed! These men were simple men; they were low members of society. Yet the good news of Jesus changed them. They didn’t look on their status or socio-economic position and say, “we’re not worthy”. They didn’t pout or whine because the good news of Jesus didn’t elevate them to new positions in society. They received the good news and it transformed their hearts and their lives! Jesus met me where I was. He met you where you were. He met us when we were living in our dirty and smelly sins. Do we, like the shepherds, let the Good News change us? I think today that we are often guilty of accepting the good news of Jesus only to place some expectation of the “miracle” that we think should change our circumstances. Jesus can change our circumstances but His first priority is to change our hearts. Today let’s be like the shepherds. Let’s not be guilty of making light or taking for granted the sacrifice of Jesus. Today, and every day, let us tell God that we are thankful – oh, so thankful! – that He loved us enough to send His Son even when He knew that sometimes we would get so wrapped up in our lives that we don’t make room for Him. Like the shepherds, let’s return to the lives that we have but be changed by Christ and His love. Today I will remember that Christ is not just the reason for Christmas; He is the reason for my every day!

Getting Peace Back

We are beginning our series this Sunday called “Kneel.”  It a series based on prayer and how prayer is a spiritual leverage against all the pressures that we face.  The Bible has a lot to say about prayer; Jesus himself drew strength from prayer and lived a life of continual dialog with his Father while He was here on earth in the flesh.  We are reminded by the apostle Paul that it is God’s will that we pray constantly.  

1 Thes. 5:16-18 (NIV)   Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

How in the world can we do that?  Well I don’t think Paul wants us to be on our knees 24, 7.  I think what he is saying to us is to have a prayer going in our mind all the time.  Why? Because it is the greatest weapon against the pressures of life.  

Here is how it works for me, when I have a problem and it gets on my mind and I am consumed by it,  that is when worry and anxiety creep into my mind and stresses me out.  But what God is teaching me to do through prayer is ask him constantly to show me what his will is in that particular situation.  I have found that takes the pressure off of me to know that God has a plan.  All I have to do is ask him through prayer to reveal it to me.  I can tell you it is hard to focus on God and be stressed out at the same time.  Prayer brings peace that goes beyond what anyone can understand, until you experience it.  So, if prayer brings peace then we must pray continually in our minds if we are going to live in peace. 

Life will suck the peace out of you!  Prayer is God’s tool for us to bring PEACE back into our lives.

Entertaining Angels

Guest Blogger: Michelle Chastain

One of the points of Sunday’s sermon is that in order to see the needs of others, we have to slow down.  Hmmm . . . this makes sense to me.  Too busy means no margin and no margin means not having resources to help meet the needs of others. 

            Initially I am in agreement with this.  I need to slow down.  I need to see the needs of others around me.  I like God’s plan; I see hurting people, people wish I could assist where and when it is possible.  I think to myself:  “I can work with God on this.”  I am feeling quite generous at the idea of “loaning” my skills to God to make His world a better place. 

            My arrogance is brought to a crashing halt with this thought:  “working with God” on my terms is not His plan at all.  He wants me to surrender to Him on His terms, not work with Him on mine.  HIS PLAN and HIS TERMS might involve showing me someone whose needs I can help meet but to whom I am not immediately drawn.  HIS PLAN might show me areas where I need to stretch and grow to be used of Him.  HIS PLAN might cause me to give up some of my blessed and sacred sleep. 

            Wow!  One thing I know is that Christianity is not for the faint of heart.  Nor is it for the arrogant (see above) who think that they know better than God. 

            My parting and now humble thoughts about slowing down are as follows:  a) God forgive my arrogance, please, b) God show me the needs of others, and c) God let me be used by You. 

            Who knows what lies ahead?  In serving God His way I might even get to entertain angels.

a humbling experience

I shared a few weeks ago that I am reading a book by Charles Swindoll called, The Owner’s Manual for Christians.   I have picked it back up and one of the topics he talks about is humility.  He made a statement that has not left my mind about how to be humble.  By the way, if you say you are humble, you are not.

He says one of the greatest ways to live a life of humility is to be grateful.  Well when I hear something that I believe will help me be more of what God would wants me to be, I try it.  Who doesn’t want to be more humble?  So I have given it a try. 

Being grateful for the people in my life and the blessings God has given me is easy, but where it gets more humbling is being grateful for the little things.  So, in my experiment I found his words to be true.  Gratefulness brings a humble spirit and it also has made me very mindful of when I am being selfish.  That was very unexpected because I don’t like to think I am selfish, but when I practiced being grateful it was like my awareness of selfish thoughts and motives came alive.

Why don’t you give this grateful attitude a try and see what happens in you?

Philippians 2:3 (NIV)   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Who Do you Call?

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

As we begin the Kneel series I have to admit that I have struggled with some questions regarding prayer, all more than I care to admit:  does prayer really work and what if God doesn’t answer quickly enough and what do I do when I feel like God just isn’t that interested in my life?  A friend reflected these thoughts to Mark and me with the words, “What if you feel like you’ve prayed all you can?”

As I pondered things the Holy Spirit brought several thoughts to my mind that were comforting:  First, I have the confidence that God hears me (1 John 5:14).  Secondly, He hears me because I am His child (Galatians 4:6).  Thirdly, when I can not pray for myself I can ask my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for me, to support me when I am too weak to pray on my own (James 5:16).  Finally the Spirit Himself intercedes for me when I don’t know what to say and mere human words fail me (Romans 8:26). 

Our awesome God brings me to my knees!  Even in prayer I can see His plan for my life unfold – He has provided resources on every side.  I have direct prayer with my Father, my brothers and sisters can pray for me and with me, and the Spirit – God’s Helper – prays on my behalf when I can’t find my own words. 

I am to call on God, period.  I may talk directly with Him, or maybe with my Christian family, or perhaps Spirit may take my heartfelt tears or joy and translates them into something my loving Father understands.  Regardless, the answer is look up, to Him; He hears and will answer.  A-men.

only God can

Last week I was reading the Bible in the book of Romans and I am reading the Message paraphrase edition. 

Romans 4:17-18 (Msg)   We call Abraham “father” not because he got God’s attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn’t that what we’ve always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, “I set you up as father of many peoples”? Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, “You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!”

This is a lesson for all of us.  Here it is, “Dare to trust God to do what only God can do.” That’s what made Abraham the person that God could use.  He trusted God to do what only God could do.

So do you have anything in your life that needs change and you or no one else can change it?  If so, you have a chance to see God work.  The big question is, “Will you stop trying and start trusting God?”

handling guilt and shame

Two things that are hard for me and you to deal with, guilt and shame.  We have guilt when we feel bad about something we have experienced.  Guilt is something we deal with in our minds, so it is on the inside.  Shame on the other hand, is something we have to deal with on the outside because everyone else knows about our mistake or what happened to us.  We feel shame the strongest when we are around people who know all about our past pain or mistake.  We can have shame about a circumstance in our life that we had no control over.  Like when a person has been abused sexually and everyone knows, it brings shame.  I am especially thinking about a person that has been raped.

The number one reason a person doesn’t report a rape is because of the shame they fear they will face.  Everyone will know what happened to them and look down on them is the thought that keeps them from seeking help and justice for the crime committed against them.
 
Well I have good news for all of us who have things in our past that makes us uncomfortable being around people who know our past.  Here it is, Jesus died on the cross for our guilt and shame of past sins or situations. 
 
In order to keep shame from intimidating us we have to accept that Jesus took my shame on the cross so I can have the power to hold my head high and tell myself when I come in contact with those who could make me feel shameful, Jesus not only died for my sin, but my shame as well.  So the power of shame has been broken over you because Jesus gave us the power to say, “THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW.   I AM FREE IN JESUS.”
 
Hebrews 12:2 (NCV)   Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne.

Yesterday

Just let me say thank you to all the people that made yesterday evening such a huge success.  From the planning teams, to the prayer partners, to the worship team and even to those dealing with our water and plumbing issues!  What a great evening we had to kick off how to be a 10 in 2010.  More on that later this week!

the Daniel Fast journey

Guest Blogger:  Michelle Chastain

The Daniel Fast has coincided with one of the busiest and most stressful weeks that I have had in a while.  My schedule is demanding, I have colleagues in town, there are extra meetings and longer hours, and of course there is the normal part of life of a husband and children and a household that require some time and attention.  Choosing to commit to the entirety of the Daniel Fast was difficult because I know that these next two weeks are going to be running at much faster speeds for me than normal.  So with some apprehensiveness I began the fast with fervor. 

Or so I thought.  Tonight I had a business dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and I was counting on their vegetable plate to be my entrée.  Alas!  Much to my dismay, the veggie plate is out of season right now.  I’d love to tell you that I was the bigger, stronger person and that I sat nobly and quietly as my colleague and customer enjoyed their scrumptious food but that would be a lie and I will not lie to you.  I had fish. 

God doesn’t condemn the fact that I ate fish.  He does, however, require that I ask forgiveness for breaking a vow that I made to Him.  I know that God loves me and He will forgive me.  He will not condemn me when I pick up the fast again tomorrow.  God will not berate or belittle me; He may remind me of the choice that I made but He will never beat me down.  With this knowledge of God’s love, I will pick up the cross of this fast again tomorrow with renewed tenacity and a deeper appreciation for grace.

Daniel Fast Journey part 2

Let me know how you are doing by email jeffdaws@sccview.net

Well today is day four for me and I have a concern I want to share with you as I shared with the ones I saw at church last night.  I was awakened at 5 a.m. Wednesday morning with this weird pain in my hand.   I was dreaming about a Chicken leg only to find my hand in my mouth. 

Just kidding. I thought you might need a laugh about now as many of you from SCC are doing this Daniel fast.  Today is day number four for me and I am doing much better after the big headache on Tuesday.  I have lost four pounds as of Wednesday evening.  The greatest thing that is happening is spiritual because I wake up praying and go to bed with a prayer in my heart.  I can say I have experienced peace even though I have had to face some very “un-peaceful” situations.

God’s Word is true and God is the only source of real peace. 

Isaiah 26:3 (NIV) You (God) will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  

Let’s please pray for the people Haiti.   We will receive an offering Sunday and give to Compassion International.  If you do not attend SCC and would like to be apart of this offering to Haiti you can do it through our website at www.sccview.net and look for the give online tab.

sunday highlights

Sunday highlights.  Courtney Bond did an outstanding job leading our praise team and band as they led all of us at SCC into the presence of God.  I saw my wife, Rhonda’s great leadership yesterday because she was out sick and her team never missed a beat.  Many of us are still recovering from yesterday’s sermon I will not say anymore than that.  If you were not there, I would encourage you to listen to it online at here

Here is the point of yesterday’s sermon:  If I don’t like what I am seeing in my relationships, I must examine what I am saying.

James 3:2 (NIV)   We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

I had the privilege of watching the super bowl last night with some super people.  Jimmy and Pam Martin opened up their home and cooked real pizza, chicken wings, stuffed mushrooms and more.  I love just hanging out with them and their small group last night.  It was a good football game even if my team didn’t win, but the best part was just being with friends.  It was one of the best times I have had in a while.