talk it out…don’t act it out

As I write this post I am in the middle of writing the notes for Sunday message on how to communicate with our family especially with our children.  I am very excited about this series because it will hit real family issues like communication, blending families, marriage, being a God centered family and dealing with our parent’s mistakes.

I would like to share with you about anger.  Anger is one emotion that we all have to deal with and how we handle it will directly affect our family and those closest to us.  As a matter of fact, as I am writing this, my mind goes back to my childhood and I can remember people in my family who were a screamers.  The greater the anger, the louder they could get.

I heard a statement the other day about anger that I think we all could learn from.  Anger is to be talked about and not acted out! You don’t swallow anger and treat your family bad because you are mad to get people to ask what’s wrong with you.  Have you ever been around these kind of people and they usually are known to be the most soft spoken.  The second type I can identify with is the screamer or the direct talk that is pointed at someone to get them to tell me they were wrong and should have never done what they did.

I have found that when anger is talked out instead of acted out, it comes in the form of having a hard conversation, not a one sided retaliation.  Heed the warning.  If you don’t talk out your anger, it will come out in an action when you least expect it.   Rhonda and I have learned through the years that just letting it out is not always good, but talking it out is.

God tells us this in his word.

Ephesians 4:26 (Living) If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry–get over it quickly;

humility

One of life’s lessons that I think all of us have to learn is humility.  The Bible is very clear about this. God speaks over and over again about how he gives his power to the humble. He even opposes the proud, which is the opposite of humility.

James 4:6 (NIV)   ”God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

I think that there are not many people who would say that they are prideful.  Most people would say to some degree they are humble.  Again I find that what most people say about themselves in this area and what they live out in there life don’t match up.  It is not intentional to be prideful, it just sneaks up on us.

You know what I think the greatest form of pride is that we all deal with is, not be willing to let anyone see our weakness.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to hide our weakness because we are taught to be strong and self sufficient.  If you show weakness, people will not accept you or your spouse will not respect you, your children will not follow you.  That just is not right.

Life will hand every person a situation at sometime in your life that you will be utterly helpless.  It may be a relational situation, family situation, financial situation or health situation.

It is at this moment that your life will be defined.  You will either live in denial or you will ask God and others for help.  This is the point to where God becomes real to most people.  This is where the saying comes from that, “you don’t know God’s all you need until God’s all you got.”

Now you can see why God hates pride, it robs Him of a relationship with you and others.  I encourage you to start walking down that road of humility today because it feels so good not have the pressure to be a perfect person with all the answers.  It also feels great to admit I not so good at that, will you help me?  That, my friends, is being humble.

Upcoming post:

Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

God’s Will, my struggle

You know, every once in a while I say something in a sermon I have not heard put a certain way and when it comes out, I know that was God speaking.  This Sunday was one of those times.  I said something that I have been dwelling on for awhile and I know it was a God statement for me if not for anyone else.  It was this,  “Many times I pray God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven, but I live the opposite of my prayer.  I live like God’s will be done in heaven and my will be done on earth.”

This one of my greatest struggles and I am sure I am not by myself on this one.  Many times I have a situation come up and I think that God should think like me.  It seems like a logical response that I have planned in my heart.

That is when God has to remind me that his thinking is eternal and my think is just that… my thinking.  God reminds of this in His Word.

Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)   ”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

So I don’t know about you, but that is why I have to read the Bible daily.  Because the logical part of me wants to take over God’s place.  So, on a daily basis and set planned place and time, I have to read God’s will and ask him to help me line up with Him or my will take over.

I want God’s will done in heaven and on earth in my life, my marriage, my children’s lives, my church family, my community, my country and his world.

My logic has gotten me into too many messes over the years, so I want to trust His will over my logic every day of my life.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

 

Upcoming posts:

Humility is a lesson that life teaches all of us
Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

Leadership Secrets

Yesterday I was paid one of the greatest compliments I have ever been given.  Someone said, “You were gone two weeks and we didn’t even miss you.”  Now that may not sound like a great compliment to you, but it is to a leader.  In other words, this person was saying, “We missed you, but nothing was lacking in our church services.”

She said, “I have been to churches and when the pastor wasn’t there, the people didn’t show up and the service was a train wreck, but that was not the case when you and Rhonda were gone.”  The band was great and the young lady leading the music was great.  She paused and said, “What a great speaker Chesnee is and Ricky was dynamic with his message.  You have two people who can step up.  You are blessed.”   I replied, “I know. They have been with me for years and are people that have helped us mold SCC to be the authentic, loving church we are.  It is a called unity in our staff and in our church that it keeps moving in one direction no matter who is speaking.”

She was just taken aback by how smooth things moved every week we were gone. She didn’t know that I have nothing to do with that.  Every week Pam Salter and Doug House make the services run smoothly.  “The drama was off the chart,” one person said.  Diane Carden does such a passionate job with our Drama team. 

Real leadership is getting people to see their God given talent and encouraging them to use it for the greater good of mankind and building up God’s people.

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.”

Philippians 1:27

Upcoming posts:

Thy will be done in heaven, my will be done on earth
Humility is a lesson that life teaches all of us
Anger is to be talked about and not acted out!

Has anyone seen that Nunn with my 2nd life lesson point?

July 23, 2009

Before I begin to share today, I wanted to remind everyone that this Sunday is the deadline to bring school supplies for our School House Rock Outreach Project. We still need more writing paper, child size scissors and construction paper. Thank you for supporting teachers and children at Austin Rd. Elementary!

Well I told you on Tuesday’s post that I was going to tell you another lesson that I learn from the Nunn, but to be honest with you I can’t remember what the second thing I was thinking about was. I didn’t write down what I was thinking, so it is gone. If the thought returns I will share i… and no I am not OLD, I just have a very good forgetter.

I know there’s a lot of debate going on about government controlling health care on the news and there are many opinions about it. So I thought I would share with you my thoughts for what they are worth. I don’t have a political opinion, I have a practical one. The one positive thing this has done is started conversation over a big problem… and it is health care in our county and it’s cost. I think this is a big issue and we have to solve it the right way and the only way to do that is by having conversations about it.

I don’t think having a government take over is the answer. For one reason it never helps the poor. Last week while on vacation, we drove to Cleveland, Ohio to have a picnic on the shore of Lake Erie. I needed gas so I pulled off the interstate and ended up in the projects or government funded neighborhood. So many people had looks of hopelessness and rejection. It seems everything the government “runs” is not good… outside of the army.

Every time you take a person’s need to work and earn away from them, you rob them of their will. You destroy their life because you tell them, if they will live here we will provide everything for you. It kills the human spirit.

A life lesson I have had to learn as a parent and as a pastor is that you can’t do life for people. You must let them fail and not bail them out but offer a way out..

That’s why God gave the church to the world, it is to restore the human spirit by introducing them to God through his son, Jesus. The bible tells us over and over to help the poor, we are instructed not to give a hand out but a hand up. I think it starts by teaching people this one lesson of Lordship that Jesus said in  Matthew 6:24 (NIV) “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

You cannot serve both God and Money. We are instructed by God to listen to him and tell money what to do, but the problem is our culture is listening to money (money talks) and trying to tell God what to do.

Lesson from a Nunn…

While I was in Niagara Falls, NY I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels while I was waiting on Rhonda to get ready to go to dinner.  I came across a Nunn teaching, so out of curiosity I listened because I had never heard a Nunn teach.  She was very funny and enjoyable to listen to and also very wise.  I would like to share two things she shared in that thirty minutes that I was tuned in. I will share one today and the other tomorrow, the Lord willing. 

She shared something so deep I don’t know if we all can understand it, so will you take a deep breath in and blow it out to get ready for this.  Are you ready?  Here it is “God is common sense.”  Wow, Wow and Wow.  She said for the most part things that are common sense are God’s ways.  She said the devil is the one who constantly tries to get people to do the opposite of common sense.  

I was standing up above Niagara Falls about 500 yards high. Common sense said “If I try to cross the river, I would be swept over the falls to my death”.  Why is it with sin that we can’t see it that clearly because it really is common sense.  If I cheat on my wife, my family dies a slow death.  Common sense tells me that if I steel and lie that I have to keep lying to cover the previous lies.  So common sense says again “confess your sin so you won’t have to live a life that is a lie”.  

Common sense even answers the big moral issue of our day like abortion.  Should we kill a baby in the name of convenience, common sense says no.  Should I give my body to another person sexually that I am not married to and have to remember the act the rest of my life, common sense says no.  Even in the area of same sex relationships, common sense speaks up again and says you were not created for that. 

You know, the greatest thing the devil does is to try and get us to do what we know is wrong or as some would say “go against common sense”.  He does this because his ultimate goal for every person is death and every time he gets you to go against “common sense” or as the bible calls it “sin”, something in you dies your self respect, your self worth, and your common sense.   So you must have a relationship with Jesus to keep a good helping of common sense for life and not death. 

John 10:10 (NIV)   The thief (the devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I’m Back!

I’m back! It’s good to be home after being gone for two weeks. We went on a road trip of over 2,700 miles. We went to Virginia and saw the biggest cave I have ever seen in my life. We also drove over the Blue Ridge parkway on a part called the skyline drive. It was the most beautiful view I have ever seen looking over the valley below. We left there and went to Hershey, Pennsylvania and did the tour of the chocolate factory… it was very interesting. We then drove to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to the Amish country and took a tour through the home of the Amish people. It was very interesting to learn about how they do so much without electricity. I have to admit, it was the first time I had ever seen a horse and buggy with turn signals. Then we went to New Jersey just across the River from New York City. We stayed two nights there and also spent a whole day in New York City… as a matter of fact until 1:30 am. I do not advise riding the Path train from New York to New Jersey at that time of morning. We had Rhonda’s parents with us and it was their first time being in a place like that. So, I made sure they had plenty of excitement that they could have done without at that time in the morning. The next day at noon we left for Niagara Falls. But, we decide to drive about half way and had a hard time finding a room with a pool for Katelyn, at least for the price I wanted to pay. We found one in a city called Painted Post, NY which is right outside Corning, NY. We made it to Niagara Falls the next day and had the same problem finding a room, so after a half day of searching for a room because of some festival called “A Taste of Buffalo”, we found one. The next day was a great time at Niagara Falls, it was beautiful. The weather was 76 degrees and sunny. We took the boat ride up to the falls called the Maid of the Mist. I can’t put into words how awesome that was seeing one of God’s greatest designs up so close. The next day we left for Cleveland, Ohio and had lunch on the shores of Lake Eire. We left the picnic and drove to Cincinnati, Ohio and spent the night. The next days was just like the old saying “the horse heading for the barn” as we head home. I got to finish our vacation with a Sunday in church with my Father and spent the afternoon with him, it was great. So I am back now ready to lead our church for the glory of God. I will share with you this week about something I learned on my trip that I think will be a good life lesson for me and maybe you.

ministry is messy

Guest Blogger:  Ricky Mosel

Sometimes in life we sit back for a moment and analyze where we are and where we came from. If you are involved in a ministry at a church on any level, this usually means that you reflect on why you stay involved in said ministry. You can’t help it. That’s what people in ministry do. Why? Because ministry is messy! It’s difficult. It always has been and always will be.

Last week as I was riding down the highway in South Carolina I begin to ponder on this very subject. I was on vacation and enjoying the time of a long needed rest. I was enjoying it so much that I begin to wonder: “Why can’t it be this way all the time?” Ever been there before? I thought so. Anyways, like anyone in this position; I begin to think about all the things I don’t like about being involved in ministry. The problems people struggle with on a daily basis, most of which if you get involved in; you end up being the bad guy (never fun). All the deadlines, all the emotions, all the pains and hurts and struggles, all the people wanting your attention all the time; and getting very upset or angry if they don’t get it. All the times you have to sacrifice or go the extra mile, with no one to notice except you… and maybe your spouse (I said maybe). All the extra hours that you don’t get to count toward overtime at work. All the expectations people put on you, feeling like people are waiting for you to fail. The whole enchilada man! (ok, you get the picture. I’ll move on).

It can become quite overwhelming. You feel guilty because you know you shouldn’t feel this way. God’s not happy with you feeling this way about serving Him; so you should be ashamed. This was me, all in a span of about five minutes; by myself (the only one awake at least)

After returning home and getting back into routine, those thoughts dissipate and you move on. That’s when God likes to show up and blindside you. He allows you to sit in the doctor’s office with your kids and out of the blue your 10 year-old daughter says: “Daddy, camp was cool last week. I had so much fun. I went down during an altar call and ask Jesus into my heart for the first time. I’m so glad I did. It’s the best thing I ever did.” And then your 4 year-old son says: “I got saved to, at my Pepa’s. My sister talked to me about Jesus and helped me pray and ask him into my heart.”

That’s when it hits you like a ton of bricks. Ministry IS messy! And it’s supposed to be! This is why we sacrifice and go the extra mile. There are people that are moving through life lost in a routine and there life is messy. They need the life-altering power of Jesus! And being part of the process can be one of the most rewarding things we do!

Just a reminder to whoever needs reassuring, God always comes through! No matter if your issue is physical, mental, emotional, or especially spiritual. You can always count on him to deliver! Even in a messy ministry.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

hijacked blog

Guest Blogger:  Chesnee Dorsey

Since Pastor Jeff is out of town, I am hijacking his blog to pursue my own agenda….well, at least to tell you about some great things in children’s ministry.  I got this letter from one of our elementary students.  I have to admit it was a project they were working on in the Academy this summer, but nevertheless very touching.  It says:

Dear Ms. Chesnee

Thank you for teaching other people about God.  Thank you for having fun with us when we come to church.  Thank you for telling us stories from the Bible.  Thank you for listening to us when we talk.

Love,  Nathaniel

I love that.

Psalm 127:3  Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

 

Neighborhood Watch

Guest Blogger:  Diane Carden

Do you ever have problems with your neighbors? Some folks know all their neighbors and some folks just kinda keep to themselves. At my house, we just kinda keep to ourselves. Recently we were surprised when the police showed up at our house because the neighbor had called them. Our neighbor was angry because our dog had gotten out. Our dog had snuck out of the garage when we were bringing groceries in. The dog was out all of five minutes. Regardless, our neighbor was angry.

The police listened to our side and left to go speak to the neighbor. They came back and said, “He’s a real jerk. He also called animal control and they will be here any minute.” We were confounded as to why the guy didn’t just come over and talk to us. It would be easy to be angry about this situation. 

Titus 3:1-2 says, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do what is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility to all men.”

So animal control showed up and went to talk to the neighbor. Come to find out he is a police officer and demanded that we receive a citation which would cause us to have to go to court. Animal control was flexible. They had never received a complaint about our dog before. But it did not matter. They had to do it.

Later, I walked over to talk to the neighbor alone. I told him I am not here to get out of the citation. I am here to apologize for your inconvenience of our dog bothering you. Also I just wanted to meet you so you know what kind of people we are. They were surprised I came over and were willing to talk. The short of it is they dropped the charges, we are on speaking terms, and more familiar with each other as neighbors.

All too often we are quick tempered and concerned with only ourselves and our own comfort. What does God require of us? The answer lies in Micah 6:8.

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Those are great directions for any neighborhood watch.