choose your side

Today I heard on the news, like many of you, that the shooter at the army base at Fort Hood in Texas who killed 13 people and wounded 30 others was a known enemy of this country.  He was able to serve in the army because of our government trying to not be offensive to anyone.  I think we have had enough of being politically correct in this country.  It doesn’t work.

In order to be a great nation, great church, or a great family you have to have unity on some basic principles.  Our nation rose to be the greatest nation on earth because of our unity on the moral principles the Bible gives.

Here’s the deal.  We must decide who sets the boundaries for our lives.  I watched a little of the Monday night football game last night and they had side lines and goal lines that set the boundary in which both teams understood the game was to be played in.

If our marriages, our families, our churches or our country is going to survive, they have to have agreed upon boundaries. 

What has kept Rhonda and I together for over 22 years is not just our love for each other, because there have been times that we didn’t feel that strong of a love for each other.  It was God’s Word that set the rules before we got married.   We agreed that no matter what, we would honor God with or marriage.  We agreed to honor what God wants over what we want.

If you don’t set that standard for your life and your family, you will fall into the trap our army just fell into.  In the name of not wanting to offend anyone, they moved their boundaries to accommodate the enemy within their own ranks.  The end result was death to innocent people.

And that is what always happens when we don’t have Godly boundaries in our lives, innocent people die.  Like the baby that will be aborted today, the child whose innocence will be stolen because of a child molester.  Like the kid that is not like everyone else so the world will steal his or her innocence and convince them they are gay.

My prayer is, “God give us men and women who are like Joshua in the Bible.” 

Joshua 24:15 (NIV)   If serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

10 things

Guest Blogger:  Rhonda Daws

                     “10 Things I Love About My Pastor”

 10. He’s the real thing

 9.  He goes shopping with me and really looks for what I like  

 8.  He is a great father to his children

 7.  He mops my wood floors

 6.  He is always learning and reaching for better things

 5.  His JOKES!

 4.  He’s a great pastor always watching out for his church 

 3.  His cute little head 

 2.  His love for God

 1.  He is the best husband a woman could have. There is no doubt about his love for me!

wisdom teeth and some other wisdom

I am sitting in my living room looking at the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  She is laying on the couch sound asleep with a white band that goes around her chin to the top of her head.  She had her wisdom teeth extracted.  So my job is to be the nurse to her.  I love to serve her in times like these because she is always so willing to take care of me and the kids.  Oh how I love that woman.

I wanted to tell you a very important lesson I learned last week at a leadership conference called, Catalyst that I and a few others from SCC attended.

There was a guy by the name of Reggie Joiner who taught in one of the opening sessions.  His talk was on the family and how we get this picture of the ideal family in our minds that we all try to live up to it.  Somehow if our family doesn’t match up to that picture , we feel we are failures.

He points out in his talk that God never gives us a perfect picture in the Bible of a family.  All the people in the Bible that we know about had brokenness in their families.  When you feel that you, your spouse, or your children have done something or suffered something that has broken your family or is keeping you from being the ideal family, it can be very depressing.  There is no ideal family.  We all have issues we have to deal with and struggle with.

So here is the good news. God is not finished with you or your family.  What you say is broken and a failure in your eyes because things at this point have not turned out the way you pictured, is not so in God’s eyes.  There is a bigger story than what you see now.  Here is what I mean.  Take Moses.  If the story would have stopped when he murdered the Egyptian at the age of forty, we would have remembered him only as a murderer.  But that was only half of the story, the bad part.  We all know and remember Moses as the man God used at eighty to deliver God’s people.  Here is the take away for all of us.  There is a bigger story than what you see right now.  God doesn’t use perfect pictures, He uses broken people.

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)   And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.

who rules you?

Sunday I will be speaking about the challenges of a “child focused” family.  The bottom line is that they don’t work.  Rhonda and I are as guilty as anyone trying to give our children things that we didn’t have.  I think it is that very vain in that we all can go too far in trying so hard to help our kids have it better than we did.  Let me say there is nothing wrong with that desire of wanting your kids to have a better childhood than you, the problem comes in when our children are the center of every decision we make.

In our culture it is like our children rule.  They decide where we eat, what we watch on TV and when and if we go to church.  When we base all of our decisions on what children want it destroys our home.  When they get to be teenagers they expect to be in charge and want you to do what they want you to do when the want you to do it.

You know it really is good for our kids to hear the word, “no.”  This discipline of not giving in to our children’s every request is our responsibility as their parents.  I have found what is hard for me is saying no to a request when I have the ability to fulfill it, but I know it is not what is best for them.

I don’t like to say no in order to let them grow.  You know what helps them grow even more is when they see me want to do something, but because God says, “no,” I don’t do it.  When they see me not acting like everyone else because God says not to do it, it speaks to them.  It lets my children know that they are not in charge of our home and I am not in charge of our home.  God is in charge and He is the one we all have to answer to.

I just would encourage all of us to share a God moment with your children.  When you are in traffic and someone cuts you off, tell your children I want to let that person have it, but because God does not want me to,  I am not.  When you receive a blessing or a answered prayer, share it with them.

Teach your children that God wants to bless them, but sometimes the blessing comes from not getting what we want.  I thank God for many of my prayers he didn’t answer looking back.

Matthew 7:11 (NIV)   If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

disciplining step children

As I begin this post I want to say what a great job our worship team did yesterday leading us into worship, it was AWESOME.  I would like to follow up in this post on a very sore spot I talked about in the message yesterday.  It is on the part about stepparents disciplining their step child.  I had a few people after the service ask me to give a little more information on this topic.  So, today I would like to give you the perspective of a Christian Child psychologist Dr. Archibald Hart from his book, Helping Children Survive Divorce.

“A serious error made by many stepparents is that they take on too much responsibility for disciplining the other children.  An important principle to remember is: Each natural parent  should take primary responsibility for disciplining his or her own children.

Why do I say this?  Very simply, because if you don’t, you violate the child’s sense of justice.  Deep down, children accept that the right to discipline belongs to the natural parents.  They resent it when that right is exercised by a stepparent, no matter how justified the discipline.

It’s just a fact of human behavior.  Many stepparents become very upset about this.  They can see all the flaws in the stepchild (they often don’t see the same faults in their own children) and believe they know exactly how to deal with the brat.  Their very attitude disqualifies them from being fair.  Some mothers gladly surrender responsibility for discipline to the new partner, without realizing just how much resentment this causes.

I know there are exceptions, but they are few and far between.  Severe and dangerous behaviors must be dealt with, and it really doesn’t matter who does the disciplining here.  Get the police to do it, if necessary.  But everyday problems of conflict and adjustment are best handled by the natural parents and should include the absent natural parent whenever possible.  As a stepparent, you may finally earn the right and respect to be the one who disciplines, but at the beginning play it safe, support your spouse, and take a back seat.”

Let me tell you from a personal perspective that the stepparent is viewed as the reason why the child’s natural parents are not together.  The child will dream about their parents being back together no matter how bad things may have been and the step parent is viewed as the reason there parents cannot be together.  I can tell you when I was a child I would lay in bed at night and think how great it would be for my mom and dad to be together.  So, there is a natural resentment that happens no matter how good of a stepparent you are.

Galatians 6:9 (Living)   And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.

punishment vs. discipline

I have been reading a book called, “Helping Children Survive Divorce” by Dr. Archibald Hart.  He is a Christian psychologist.  I read this to help me understand more of how to help people who are blending families,  Iwill be sharing a message about making a blended family work on Sunday.

In this book, I a came across something that was very interesting about how children are to be controlled.  If you are a blended family, the biological parent should always be the one who disciplines the child.  That was not a headliner, but what he said about the difference in punishment and discipline was very informative to me as a parent. 

This is what he said punishment is.  “Hurting back” for the hurts experienced by the parents.  Discipline is a “teaching activity,” designed to help children learn appropriate behavior.

            Punishment                                                     Discipline

Always reacts in anger                                     Always reacts with calmness
Always seeks to retaliate                                 Always seeks to help
Reacts out of impatience                                 Is always patients
Is motivated by revenge                                 Is motivated by love

I must confess to you as I look at that list, punishment was the way I leaned to for results with my children when they were younger.  My son, who is the oldest, really experienced it because that is all I knew.  My parents punished me and never disciplined.  So, I have had to learn with God’s help, and I hope if you read this and find yourself leaning more toward punishment than discipline,  you will change.  I am not against spanking a child, but I have learned it should be the last resort and not the first reaction.

God doesn’t punish us, He disciplines us.  He punished our sin through the cross of Jesus, but because He is our Heavenly Father, He will discipline us. Thank God for the difference or you and I would not be here.

Job 5:17 (NIV)   ”Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

Rev. 3:19 (NIV)    Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

 

Lesson from a Nunn…

While I was in Niagara Falls, NY I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels while I was waiting on Rhonda to get ready to go to dinner.  I came across a Nunn teaching, so out of curiosity I listened because I had never heard a Nunn teach.  She was very funny and enjoyable to listen to and also very wise.  I would like to share two things she shared in that thirty minutes that I was tuned in. I will share one today and the other tomorrow, the Lord willing. 

She shared something so deep I don’t know if we all can understand it, so will you take a deep breath in and blow it out to get ready for this.  Are you ready?  Here it is “God is common sense.”  Wow, Wow and Wow.  She said for the most part things that are common sense are God’s ways.  She said the devil is the one who constantly tries to get people to do the opposite of common sense.  

I was standing up above Niagara Falls about 500 yards high. Common sense said “If I try to cross the river, I would be swept over the falls to my death”.  Why is it with sin that we can’t see it that clearly because it really is common sense.  If I cheat on my wife, my family dies a slow death.  Common sense tells me that if I steel and lie that I have to keep lying to cover the previous lies.  So common sense says again “confess your sin so you won’t have to live a life that is a lie”.  

Common sense even answers the big moral issue of our day like abortion.  Should we kill a baby in the name of convenience, common sense says no.  Should I give my body to another person sexually that I am not married to and have to remember the act the rest of my life, common sense says no.  Even in the area of same sex relationships, common sense speaks up again and says you were not created for that. 

You know, the greatest thing the devil does is to try and get us to do what we know is wrong or as some would say “go against common sense”.  He does this because his ultimate goal for every person is death and every time he gets you to go against “common sense” or as the bible calls it “sin”, something in you dies your self respect, your self worth, and your common sense.   So you must have a relationship with Jesus to keep a good helping of common sense for life and not death. 

John 10:10 (NIV)   The thief (the devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I’m Back!

I’m back! It’s good to be home after being gone for two weeks. We went on a road trip of over 2,700 miles. We went to Virginia and saw the biggest cave I have ever seen in my life. We also drove over the Blue Ridge parkway on a part called the skyline drive. It was the most beautiful view I have ever seen looking over the valley below. We left there and went to Hershey, Pennsylvania and did the tour of the chocolate factory… it was very interesting. We then drove to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to the Amish country and took a tour through the home of the Amish people. It was very interesting to learn about how they do so much without electricity. I have to admit, it was the first time I had ever seen a horse and buggy with turn signals. Then we went to New Jersey just across the River from New York City. We stayed two nights there and also spent a whole day in New York City… as a matter of fact until 1:30 am. I do not advise riding the Path train from New York to New Jersey at that time of morning. We had Rhonda’s parents with us and it was their first time being in a place like that. So, I made sure they had plenty of excitement that they could have done without at that time in the morning. The next day at noon we left for Niagara Falls. But, we decide to drive about half way and had a hard time finding a room with a pool for Katelyn, at least for the price I wanted to pay. We found one in a city called Painted Post, NY which is right outside Corning, NY. We made it to Niagara Falls the next day and had the same problem finding a room, so after a half day of searching for a room because of some festival called “A Taste of Buffalo”, we found one. The next day was a great time at Niagara Falls, it was beautiful. The weather was 76 degrees and sunny. We took the boat ride up to the falls called the Maid of the Mist. I can’t put into words how awesome that was seeing one of God’s greatest designs up so close. The next day we left for Cleveland, Ohio and had lunch on the shores of Lake Eire. We left the picnic and drove to Cincinnati, Ohio and spent the night. The next days was just like the old saying “the horse heading for the barn” as we head home. I got to finish our vacation with a Sunday in church with my Father and spent the afternoon with him, it was great. So I am back now ready to lead our church for the glory of God. I will share with you this week about something I learned on my trip that I think will be a good life lesson for me and maybe you.

it feels good to do good

As I shared with you in my last entry, we were going to Six Flags on Friday and we did.  I carried the kid that I have been a mentor to at Stockbridge Middle School.  I don’t think he had ever been before and it was a joy.  I rode every ride with him and prayed to God that I would not get sick.  I will tell you, it was the best trip to Six Flags my family has ever had because we all were committed to making sure Jalen had a good time.  Even my daughter Katelyn and friend Georgia made it their mission to make him feel like they were so glad he came.  It just amazes me when I put my children in an environment to help others, it brings the best out in them.

You know, I am convinced that as a family you make the worst of times the best of times, when you get focused on helping others.  It just brings the best out in everyone.  Things don’t get better with more money or more things, because things are only things and money is only money, but what you do for someone else is love and it flows back to you.  It just feels good to do good.  If you want your problems to get smaller, just start helping others who have bigger problems and yours will shrink.

Ok, I am going to let you in on the secret to a great life in two words,  Sharing and Serving.  I am challenging the people of SCC to try this over the summer and see if you don’t mark this down as the greatest summer ever.

Acts 10:38 (NIV)   God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.

I know I keep bringing this verse up, but if you will notice when we ask God to help us do good for others, we get empowered by his spirit and we bring healing to those who are under the power of the devil.  Why? Because God is with us.

Learn to Laugh

Yesterday was a great day.  It was very productive and I got many things done that needed to be done around the office.  I started work on this new series that we plan on doing starting in June called, “Man 2 Man.”  I can’t wait for this one.  I love Mondays anyway because it is the day that Rhonda cooks a good meal for our family and we all sit around the table for an extended amount of time laughing and talking.  That is the one thing I love about my family is that we love to laugh together.  After that great meal together Rhonda, Katelyn and I went and watched our church softball team in action.  You learn a lot about people watching them play ball.  It was so much fun sitting with the family and friends of the players in the stands watching and laughing.  We even did the wave, which was a sight with just twenty five people. 

 

After the game my daughter challenged me to a game of basketball.  She said she could shoot better at night with the lights on, because the sun was not in her eyes.  She wasn’t kidding.  Most of the time I let her win but last night I thought I would go out there and take her down real quick and come back in and finish off those chocolate covered peanuts.  She beat me real quick and she not only beat me, but my neighbor came over and I could tell he wanted to shoot the basket ball. So I said, “Ted, play Katelyn in a game of PIG.”  She took him down in about five minutes.  I said, “Ted don’t take it easy on her.”  He rolled his eyes at me after missing the shot she had just made.  It was fun until his wife made him come home.

 

What I great day.  It’s in the little things that make life so great.  In the Daws family we try laugh about as much as possible.  Why not today try laughing a little more?

 

Proverbs 17:22 (CEV) If you are cheerful, you feel good; if you are sad, you hurt all  over.